(Closed) Can't afford to invite everyone, but people are asking

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
1320 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

naturalflight:  I think it will easiest to just be as honest as possible. If you’re getting married in city hall, that will clear up the issue for most busy-bodies. That usually indicates on its own that it’s a smaller, more intimate wedding (you don’t have to mention your reception plans or anything like that). In my experience, people have always been understanding, and it sounds like your coworker is just genuinely curious about your planning. Best of luck!  🙂

Post # 4
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

We are having a very small wedding of 20 people. there are lots of friends and family members we were unable to invite. Truthfully, some people take it harder than others that they’re not invited. I think the best excuses are money and venue. I just tell everyone that our venue only holds 20, and we are paying for it ourselves and unable to afford to have a big wedding and wanted a short engagement. When we say we can’t afford it people seem to be more understanding than just “we’re only having immediate family, grandparents and close friends”. The hardest is when people assume they are invited and you have to tell them they’re not. It’s not easy bee! your friend sounds sweet though, so I’m sure she’ll be in the understanding bunch. 

Post # 5
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

naturalflight:  I would just talk to her and be really really honest, and say that you are so grateful and happy for all her loving support around your wedding.  Then let her know that you are also really sad, because when you did the numbers, you realized that you have to limit your guests!  Tell her that you feel really bad, and you wish you could invite her, but that once you researched how much things cost, etc. you realized that you just can’t.  

 

I’m sure she’ll understand :).  And if she seems distant or a little hurt for a while, let her be – friends who wouldn’t understand that aren’t necessarily worth keeping 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee

IMO it’s pretty presumptuous of people to assume they’re going to be invited to your wedding. People have all different kinds of weddings nowadays, I don’t even assume that I’m invited with my best friends! I think saying “it was a small wedding” should be good enough for most people.

Post # 7
Member
1709 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016 - Garden

Gosh that’s hard bee!! It’s hard for me too. My Fiance sand I only want close to 70-80 people at our reception but I have 120 on my guest list! So I’ll have to be cutting down a LOT of people! After finding the dress, that’s when it gets little harder. But you got this bee!! Hang in there.

I’m pretty sure people can understand. They’ll be happy for you anyway regardless if they didn’t come. Honestly it shouldn’t feel like the end of the world if they didn’t come. If you’re on a budget then stick with your budget! What I’ll do is send them pics and/or videos of my wedding so they can feel like they were there the whole time they’re looking at my smiling face :)) not the same but it’s close enough :/

Post # 8
Member
9588 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

naturalflight:  I think most people should understand when you say you chose to have a small wedding that you could afford–anyone who thinks you should go in to debt in order to put them on the guest list isn’t a friend at all.

Post # 9
Member
12093 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

When she asks about the planning just tell her the truth,  that it’s going to be a small, city hall wedding. It’s never appropriate to tell people they aren’t invited to something. She’ll figure it out and I’m sure she won’t be offended. 

Post # 11
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

We’ve been telling everyone it’s a small wedding. 

Everyone we wanted to invite we already told months ago so though we’ve been asked a few times since by people we didn’t invite, I don’t feel too bad about it. We also have a very strict cap on numbers so anytime anyone pushes we just tell them that that’s all we have.

Some people are going to be offended – that’s just the way it is. : / But I figure, who cares, it’s what we want and I’d rather have 60 people we really want there rather than 150 that we invited just so no one’s feelings are hurt… If you know what I mean. 

Post # 12
Member
12093 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

naturalflight:  One or two wedding photo shots are fine to post to social media as is changing your “status” to married, not that it’s necessary. Including photos of the party itself, including the guests in attendance is not okay no matter how many people do it. 

Ditto regarding  engagement news. An announcement and a photo of the two of you is fine. Details about the upcoming wedding are not. IMO close family members, ie siblings, grandparents, close aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. should be told individually. 

Post # 13
Member
728 posts
Busy bee

I completely understand your situation! My entire company is about 30 people. Some I’ve worked with much longer than others but I’m not inviting anyone just to keep it easy & then I can say “you know I’m not inviting anyone from work just to be fair.” I’m not super close outside of work with anyone since I’m a lot younger then most of them, but I still feel awkward when someone asks how wedding planning is going. You just can’t invite everyone in your life & if people get upset I think that’s really rude in itself. I wouldn’t be open with the guest list on social media but I would post any pictures you want! I know how much I’m paying for my photographer so if I want to post pictures of my wedding day on my own social media account I do not see how that wouldnt be okay. I have plenty of FB friends that have gotten married lately and posted pics and all I thought was “awhhh that’s cute” This is again a situation where I think if someone gets upset over your own pictures because they weren’t invited then they’re the rude ones

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  anonbee4321.

The topic ‘Can't afford to invite everyone, but people are asking’ is closed to new replies.

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