Post # 17
I will be a devils advocate here. The reason you are taking so much heat for your choices has a lot to do with the timing. If the event starts at 3:00 or 3:30 on a weekday, many of your guests will need to take a half-day or even a full day off of work; some will need to travel which isn’t cheap, even if just done by car. You are only willing to welcome them for 2 hours and only welcoming them with “everyday” foods. You’re not making your guests feel special. Even if you’re doing the very best you can, it isn’t giving a hospitable appearance to your guests.
Have you considered doing a private ceremony on the Wednesday then having your reception the following weekend? By being more considerate of your guests’ schedules, you become the better hostess. You may also consider some menu items that have more of a “wow” factor even if they are equally budget-friendly, such as jambalaya which can made fairly cheaply, holds up well if you make it in advance, but also sounds like a special treat to most folks outside of certain regions. It’s just one example but if you really try, you can transform your sandwiches-and-lasagne budget into something really special.
yes I know the wedding is all about the bride and groom, but as a hostess, your job is to make your guests feel welcome and honored at every occasion.
Post # 18
Well that sounds like a full meal to me.
But if your reception is only from 4-5:30 pm I think you could just to appetizers as well.
In fact that’s probably what I would do. If you serve a full meal it probably would take at least an hour for everyone to eat so you wouldn’t even have time to greet them or mingle.
If you go until 6 or 7 though you definitely want the full meal.
Post # 19
@JessicaJupiter: Personally, I would make it later – why not have your ceremony at 5:30, then light refreshments to follow? You could do similar food, standing reception until 8:30. Your time is awkward and will make it difficult for anyone who works or has children to pick up from school. Your menu sounds just fine to me.
Post # 20
How you considered doing just a cocktail-style reception? If your wedding is over by 5:30, that’s pretty early to eat dinner anyway. You can go to Costco (or some similar store) and get a ton of yummy appetizers to heat up on the day, plus maybe the pasta salad and finger sandwhiches. If I saw something was ending at 5:30, I wouldn’t even think dinner was being served.
Post # 21
- Wedding: November 2019 - Canada
Welcome to the hive! Sorry to had a negative experience on another site 🙁 I think your options sound awesome! I honestly wouldnt expect lasagna, and maybe because of the timing of your wedding it seems a bit out of place to me, but it’s your wedding and you can do whatever you want! If it were me i’d do a “cocktails & appetizers” reception, and have family members bring 50 of their favorite appetizer as their ‘contribution’… a partial potluck sort of! No one will expect a full meal and the timing is great for them to get a bite to eat, celebrate with you, then sneak home for dinner!
Post # 22
I think, that no one who cares for you or your Fiance would think twice if that’s what you did… and if they judged it for whatever reason, its no loss to you.
Instead of the officiant for $250- you could get a friend or family member ordained for way less than that, but I’m not sure exact amount. I think my brother-in-law paid $20?
I would love to go to a “cocktail wedding”. I still think that’s a generous amount of food, but the times are off.
Other options: If I were you, I’d find a park, and at night wrap lights around the trees, rent cocktail tables, and put tealights on the tables (tealights and holders can be found at a dollar store!). Make it romantic and classy, and almost whimsical. Maybe serve hot chocolate, ciders, etc for the October weather depending where you are? serve just cake, finger desserts and pies?
I think it’s doable, and it can be amazing. Don’t let other people tell you otherwise.
Post # 23
Welcome to the Bee! I came to the Bee for the exact same reasons at the Knot (too many agressive, judgemental people on there).
Don’t read too much into the negativity. After all, if is YOUR celebration and you can spend YOUR money however you want! If you were my friend and I was invited, I would go to support you.
It sounds to me like you are having a little gathering to spend some time with the guest after your ceremony and doesn’t sound to me like you are planning a full blown 4-5 hour reception. Which to me is TOTALLY fine.
I agree with PP, I wouldn’t do Lasagna because that is more of a meal. Consider doing little tea sandwiches, veggie & fruit tray, maybe some crackers with cheese & pepperoni. Make a kabob display – fruit, veggies, meat & cheese, mozzerella and tomatoes, chicken, etc. Soo many ideas!!!
ETA: Word the invitations with somthing along the lines of”Light Refreshments to follow”
Post # 24
Honestly, good on you for realizing how much you can afford to spend and being determined not to go over.
If I were you, I would have the ceremony at whatever time you want, but have an evening cocktail/appetizer thing around 7-8pm. Serve booze and apps only– get a few costco platters and maybe some hot finger foods- meatballs, mini spring rolls, cheese, etc.
Post # 25
I was hoping for the ceremony itself to start from 3:00 to 3:30 and it is expected to only be a half hour long. That way the reception starts a half hour later. The venue I am hoping to get has nice moving lighting and a built in music system, so if I don’t spend $900 on food I can afford to host the wedding there and people can remember having fun just dancing or chatting. I also wouldn’t be able to afford the $200 dress I want, there wouldn’t even be tablecloths on the tables, they would be those old fold out ones that look like they are falling apart… it just depresses me thinking about what a difference the $400 extra in food makes.
Only 2 of my guests are travelling and they are my FI’s father and his step mother, so they don’t care if it is a weekday or weekend affair. Everyone else is close friends and family within town, many of which do not work full time so it is easier for them to work around our wedding. If we waited we’d be waiting another 2 years, we’ve already been engaged for 2 years! We’d been dating for 7 years at that point.
For me the lasanga idea came about because I was thinking of those that might actually come and be really hungry because they had to skip a meal to get there. I have a friend who can get me pre-made lasanga’s at a discount. So for $40 I would have enough lasanga for everyone if they wanted some. I also have beverages planned, there will be a bowl of punch or something as well as some bottles of water/pop available.
Post # 26
ETA: You could make each level different kabobs and use things that you have at home to use a risers and dishes
Post # 27
Hi @JessicaJupiter: First and foremost as this is your DEBUT post on WBee… a BIG Welcome to “The Hive”
I am a bit of an Etiquette Snob here… lol
(In so much as my upbringing and career have given more than ample amounts of knowledge about the topic… )
As BOTH @Brielle:
identified, you can quite easily have a Wedding with LIGHT Eats following
The trick is all in the timing.
And for those eats you could choose to serve just Cake & Bubbles (Champagne / Sparkling… or Punch, Tea & Coffee… whatever you wish)
OR you could do a nice Traditional Afternoon Tea (tea sandwiches, crudites, pickles, maybe a spot of cheese) followed by Cake & Bevvys
All of these options could be much less expensive than what you have planned now (which does look a lot like a full meal, albeit a more casual one)
Aiming for eats somewhere between 2 and 4 PM, and you’d be good to go
If you have it hitting between 4 and 5 or later, then ya, people are going to expect more substantial fare
Hope this helps,
PS… Your plans sound quite lovely by the way. I think you’ll find The Hive to be a much more “gounded bunch” than that other website that shall remain nameless (for the record it is a bit of a no-no around here to knock them… so most of us just choose not to mention them at all… lol, as the old saying goes “If you can’t say something nice, then best to say nothing at all”)
Post # 30
That sounds fine to me. Perhaps make the “meal” time at an odd hour. Like serve all that food at 4pm?
Post # 31
That is actually the exact thing I had planned on doing so people don’t expect a big meal but was told it was just too rude to add to an invitation. Thanks to you it will certainly be added onto the invitations.
I’ve researched on Canadian law and I am pretty sure that is impossible, my only options are priests or the city clerks and $250 is the cheapest I can find. Park would be a great idea if my wedding wasn’t in mid October in Northern Ontario, there is always a chance of snow the week I’ve selected 😛 I’ve also thought of doing hot chocolate due to the time of year but not exactly sure of how much we’d spend to make it happen!
We have played around with that idea but we have the issue of his father and step mother coming in from out of town, they of course want to be there for both events but don’t want to be here for so many days. It certainly is something that is still on the table though in case we find out that too many people might not be able to attend as the wedding gets closer. I really like the idea of having something that pops out available, perhaps I’ll end up cutting the lasanga and replacing it with someing unique. Also, I know that I am supposed to be a good host I just don’t feel that many other important aspects need to be completely cut out just to feed everyone a certain amount of food.
I would just like to say that this is so much more positive and constructve than I had previously experienced. Loving it!