Post # 47
Etiquette Snob here… lol
Whoever told you (from the land of nod) it was rude to add Reception info at the Bottom of the Wedding Invite was wrong.
“Reception to follow” is commonly seen, when BOTH the Ceremony & Reception are in the same location.
“Adult Reception to follow” is usually used if one wishes to indicate that Children are welcome at the Ceremony but not at the Reception
If the Reception is at a different location, then that can also be noted on the Invite in lieu of a Reception Card (cost savings)
“Reception immediately following at Riverview Yacht Club”
Or as suggested earlier if you wish to convey that the Reception won’t be a full on meal…
“Afternoon Tea Reception to follow”
Hope this helps,
Post # 48
In Ontario your options on WHO can marry you are very restrictive…
An Ordained & Registered Member of the Clergy… or a Judge, JOP, City Clerk.
That is all. So no chance here usually for a family member or friend to do the honour.
Govt of Ontario – Getting Married = http://www.ontario.ca/government/get-married-ontario
Hope this helps,
Post # 49
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t envision a lot of dancing and partying at 4pm on a Weds. If you’re set on that timing, I would do heavy apps and cocktails- skip the lasagna.
Post # 50
I just noticed something else…
You say that your Wedding is planned for Wednesday ~ October 15, 2014
(And you have said it is non-negotiable…)
So you should be aware of the following:
Chances are going to be HIGHER that fewer people will be able to take off time that day than say other weeks in October… as that is a SHORT WEEK, in so much as Monday ~ October 13th is Thanksgiving.
People will be in “catch up” mode at work after the long weekend … and taking off additional time will no doubt prove difficult for many !!
So you are going to be fighting another uphill battle when it comes to Guest numbers who will actually be able to make it to celebrate with you on that particular Wednesday
( sorry )
Post # 51
As for officiant, yes the options are limited, however there may be a way to get a cheaper officiant!
Are you and your Fiance religious at all? My Fiance and I didn’t realize this when we joined our synagogue but we are actually able to have our rabbi and cantor free for our wedding, since we are members. And that’s for an off site wedding! Is there maybe a religious location that you two identify with that may have something similar, or will be willing to perform the ceremony for a donation? As your date isn’t a date in demand, they may be willing to work with you on cost.
Post # 52
@JessicaJupiter: My friend got married on a Wednesday afternoon and only fed her invited wedding guests (about 30 tops). All they had was a sandwich, beans, some salads, and chips and honestly was it a grand meal? No, but it was good and it was food. I guess I don’t understand people who go to the wedding expecting the food to be the amount of their gift.
If Wednesday is that important to you, I would expect less than half of your guests to show up, which in your case regarding the food would be a totally reasonable menu. Actually you are serving a lot more than I would expect if you have lasagna, sandwiches and the option of two salads. I’d eat and wouldn’t complain.
Post # 53
I think that a full meal at 3:30/4 in the afternoon is a bit much so here are my thoughts on your options
1) Go with your planned time, do apps such as tortillini, chicken skewers, some veggies, meatballs etc… things people can snack on. You can put on your invitation that drinks and hors d’oeuvres will be served.
2) Go with a time that is a bit later in the day, and serve the lasagna as dinner. If you do this, I don’t think the sandwiches and all that jazz are necessary. For me, lasagna dinner entails a yummy piece of lasagna, some ceasar salad, and garlic bread.
Post # 54
I think the amount and kind of food you are serving is FINE and a pox on anyone who calls you rude or a bad hostess. A wedding atarting at 3:00 in the afternoon does not need to include dinner. People will eat what you have and enjoy themselves and when they get hungry for dinner they’ll leave, which is also just fine. I went to a wedding just like this about 5 years ago – they had cake and heavy canapes, we all enjoyed ourselves hugely, and when it got to be dinner time at about 7:30 or 8, we all left and went and got pizza and talked about what a nice wedding it had been (the bride and groom had left already!).
This whole thing of having to feed everyone full meals is just nuts. I did it because my wedding was over the dinner hour, but when my mom got married ‘back in the day’ they had cake, punch, and coffee and that was IT and it was wonderful all the same.
A good hostess won’t let people die of thirst or starvation, but you are not required to give people a banquet either.
Post # 55
My sister had a weekday wedding a few years ago. She too was not negotiable on the date (it happened to be their 10th anniversary) so that limited the number of guests that could come. She decided to have the cermony at 5:00 and the reception in the private room of a restaurant. I think she had close to 40 people total and the restaurant wound up being a lot cheaper than she had ever imagined. Since it was a weekday, they had the restaurant almost all to themselves. Plus, she didn’t have the added stress of trying to plan a meal!
She didn’t have dancing and all that stuff but it was really a nice time. She and her husband could have afforded a larger wedding (my parents gave her money toward it) but instead they decided to have a very small wedding and put the money toward their honeymoon.
Post # 56
I’d bring your wedding slightly forwards to, say 2.45 (people will have to take a half day off anyway) and then serve a vintage afternoon tea. It’s an economical and jolly tasty option and nobody will be under any illusion that they are getting a massive scoff.
There’s no need to actually feed people a huge meal after a wedding anyway and it is perfectly reasonable to put “afternoon tea reception to follow” on the invitations so everyone knows what to expect.
You should easily be able to do a wedding on your budget but I suspect that having it on a Wednesday may result in some no-shows.
Post # 57
I think it’s only necessary to serve a whole meal if you want guests to stay and party all night. It sounds like you haven’t budgeted for entertainment, so that’s not a problem. In the old days, people got hitched in the afternoon, had cake and punch, and called it a day. There’s nothing wrong with that (though an ice cream sundae bar might be even more fun!).
But holding an afternoon ceremony on a Wednesday would pose a huge problem for me and probably for a lot of people. Unless it was my sister or best friend’s wedding, there is a good chance I wouldn’t attend. Especially if I had to travel and a get a hotel room. Nowadays, it seems kind of rude to have a Wednesday daytime wedding. Maybe like you’re hoping for a lot of No RSVPs to trim the costs. I can see a Wednesday being ok for an evening/after work wedding, but ONLY then.
Post # 58
I would most definantly consider catering in a resauraunt, we are catering in fazoli’s, which insides 3 mains, 3 salads, 3 soups, and dozens of apps for 70 under $900.
Post # 59
I do know that a lot had good advice in it but there were a number in there that were not pleasant at all. It wasn’t even what is seen in the posts, I got a few private messages that said some things they didn’t want to be seen saying on a public board. I was actually listening to the advice of several posters but many others turned on that advice, and when they took to name calling through messages it was just taking it too far for me.
Like I said in my above reply. It was not ALL of the posts that were attacking, there were some that stood out and reading back over it now I have noticed that a couple have been removed. As I also said in the above reply there were some particularly cruel private messages that wouldn’t be seen. The one nice thing I did notice on there after looking back is that someone did recognize that about $500 was about the only reasonable cost for food considering my budget… but that would still only ential 10 people coming.
The biggest problem I had was the harsh criticism of my date (one nasty response also was sent through private message for that) where they called it stupid, childish, rude, selfish and the private one called me F’n r-word over it. Generally the post didn’t center around the date yet that was what people became so hung up over.
When setting the date that was kind of how I was thinking. Those that are truly important to us will most likely make the sacrifice to come and celebrate with us. But even if they cannot take time off of work to come I would of course fully understand and wouldn’t think less of them for doing so (unless it was an immediate family member such as his mother for instance).
@This Time Round:
I am aware of that, if I end up only getting 15 people coming (or less) I’ll actually skip this idea and just arrange for dinner at a restaurant afterwards since it’d even out to the same cost. I don’t want to just assume that most people won’t come until I know for sure how many are coming, the last thing I need is for 90% to be able to make it and not have the budget for it.
It is reassuring to know other people have gotten married on their anniversary. I selected this date because it is our 5th anniversary, if it had been the 4th or 6th it wouldn’t seem as important to me for some reason. Some have said it is stupid and childish but we think it is a romantic way to get married, even if not all of our guests can make it.
Post # 60
I think if you have a wedding early you can get away with a breakfast buffett, or a sandwitch buffett. Pizza and a mocktail … why not, who dont love pizza? a diy taco bar and some mimosas?
Post # 61
This is the 2nd or 3rd time I have heard of pizza. Thinking about it makes sense because even if I go for the more expensive pizza’s @ $25/pizza I would spend $75 in total just on that… now I want to eat pizza!
I am a Catholic and he is Mormon. I contacted the one Catholic church in town (which is amazing btw) and they will only consider marrying us if he has either been baptized a Catholic or converts enough in advance. Same with the Mormom church, they will actually do it for free but I need to convert. We both hate the idea of converting for the sake of a cheaper wedding, it would just be an insult to our religions to do such a thing since it’d be a mockery.