Post # 1
Just out of curosity what other bees think about this scenario? If you can’t attend a wedding last minute, do you still send a gift? I would, because I know the couple has already paid for my plate because lists are usually finalized within 48 hours of the wedding and I already planned on giving the couple a gift, so why not just give them the gift? Thoughts?
Post # 2
I would give a gift if I couldn’t attend a wedding under any circumstances, unless it was a courtesy invite (and maybe even still if it was a courtesy invite…I do think those are more case-by-case, though). I think being unable to attend at the last minute weighs even more in favor of giving a gift than if you had known you wouldn’t be able to attend ahead of time because, like you said, the couple is going to have to pay for an unused plate.
Post # 3
breatheandrelax : I definitely would because of teh same reason you stated. Emergencies come up but I think it’s nice to still send a gift to show the couple you care.
Post # 4
absolutely, however, I also send a gift if I’m invited and have to decline. I’d typically give less if I declined up front but if it was last minute and I had rsvp’d yes, I’d give the full amount I normally give. It’s custom where I’m from to cover your plate and at that time the couple would have already paid for you.
Post # 5
On top of the reasons you stated, I would have already sent the gift days (if not weeks) in advance so.. yep.
Post # 6
I don’t really buy into the “covering your plate” thing, personally. So I would give a gift. (Basically, if I would give a gift to the couple in honor of their marriage, I would do so regardless of being able to attending the wedding or not. & I also wouldn’t want to receive a gift if I knew someone felt obligated just because they came to the party I invited them to!)
Post # 7
What I would do:
Invited but don’t want to go (courtesy invite/ don’t like/ not close to them) I’d RSVP my regrets without elaborating and not send a gift
Invited and RSVP’d no, but I would have gone under different circumstances (conflict of dates/ Destination Wedding that’s not do-able) I’d send a card and a small gift (like a bottle of wine or gift certificate)
Invited, RSVP’d yes but now can’t attend: I’d give the exact same gift, whether cash/cheque or something off their registry as planned. Plus I’d contact the bride &/ or groom asap to let them know.
Post # 8
deedee2016 : Had a question but nvm! Read your post over again
Post # 9
Absolutely- in fact I would find it extremely rude not to.
Post # 10
- Wedding: February 2017 - historical mansion
Yes, 100% agree with mgbser. If your plans changed, you should give the same gift you would have given if you had attended.
Post # 11
I am glad that other bees are on the same page as I am. I know a few people that said that they wouldn’t give a gift if they were unable to attend a wedding last minute. I thought it was a bit bizarre. I didn’t understand the reasoning behind it. Something like if they made reservations at a restaurant and had to cancel, they wouldn’t pay the restaurant money. Kind of a weird way to see your friends/family whose wedding you’re attending.
Post # 12
breatheandrelax : That’s such weird logic! I mean, I wouldn’t get a gift for a restaurant in general… I don’t look at it as “paying money for dinner.” If someone I care about invites me to their wedding, I am getting them a gift regardless.
Post # 13
breatheandrelax : My decision to give a gift is based on my relationship to the couple. Whether I attend or not is irrelevant to my choice of gift. I would aslo have had the gift delivered prior to the wedding.
Post # 14
Its customary to give a gift when youre invited to a wedding regardless of attendance, so yes I would. Especially if youve put them out by RSVPing yes then essentially no showing… id be upping my gift just to cover for the embarressment!
Post # 15
I would still give a gift.