(Closed) Cant believe I'm asking this…

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
4315 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you go to something and you avoid talking to people, it’s going to make you seem like a bitch… I would catch up on the news and try to make small conversations with people.

Post # 5
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

People love to talk about themselves.  Just ask them questions!

Post # 6
Member
2264 posts
Buzzing bee

Aww. ::Hugs::. I know exactly how you feel! I am very introverted with people I do not know. Situations like that cause a lot of anxiety. I would just advise to take a deep breath when you walk in and be your charming self. It’s hard, but you’ve got to go out of your comfort zone and try to join their conversations. You don’t need to worry about what to talk about–just make small talk and from there, a conversation will open up!

Good luck!! 🙂

 

Post # 7
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Just fake it till you make it.
I’m naturally shy but I force myself not to be.
Act confident and kind and it’ll be okay. For sure go talk to the ladies, just go up to them smile, introduce yourself and who your guy is. This will open up conversation and they should introduce themselves and the most outgoing ones will spark up conversation, and then just go with it.
If they are all complaining about something complain or be sympathetic with them, if they are all talking about a specific event or movie talk about it, or ask about it. You can compliment someones jewlery/clothes/hair/etc, you can ask where they got something because it’s so great, or ask if anyone knows where to find a good deal on _____ in the area. Do they know of any local comedy shows? etc.

You will look snobby if you stay to yourself, or if you only hover around the guys that never gives the ladies the best impression.

If your sweet and open it’ll be fine.

 

Post # 8
Member
1809 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@graygodess20:  how weird, it only posted the first sentence i wrote! lol

 

I just ask tons of questions. So how long have you lived here? Oh really? I’ve only been here for #months, I moved from ^*€*+. What is there to do out here? I’m new and don’t know many ppl. Just relax, ask questions, and smile. You’ll probably leave with a few new friends when they find out you don’t know any ppl in town!! I’m like your DH and can talk to anyone anywhere but I just keep chatting and bringing up new topics! 

Post # 9
Member
2896 posts
Sugar bee

@Penelopeee:  + 1.

 

Events like this are really awkward for me too. When I get to know people, I quickly become less shy, I make jokes and everything. But before I get to that point, I feel sooo self-conscious and I worry too much about what will people think about me. I think it is safe to say that by asking questions to people, it distracts from your own fear of not knowing what to talk about, plus you don’t look like someone who avoids others. 

Post # 11
Member
1809 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@PixelMePretty:  + 1

it’s never good to hang out with just the guys and not approach the ladies! Comes off as snobby even when you’re just being shy!

Post # 12
Member
2264 posts
Buzzing bee

You’re not boring! You’d have me in a conversation right away by talking about your dogs! 😉

Post # 13
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I know this is tough! I agree the people like to talk about themselves.  They also like to talk about their children.  Before the event maybe write down a list of things/topics to talk about.  When my brother was a teenager many many years ago, I was in his room and saw a list near his phone with different things to talk about when he was going to call a girl…must have worked, he’s been married for 15 years now! Wink      

Post # 15
Member
4607 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m also really shy and socially awkward, so making converstion is really hard for me too. I also suggest making the conversation about the other person and it’s easier. Ask them where their favorite place to eat is, if they know of any dog friendly areas, how long they’ve lived in the area…

 

After a while, the conversation should come easier. 

 

Post # 16
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Im really awkward too. it helped me when I read somewhere (dear abbey probably!) that people love to talk about themselves, and as long as you act like you’re really, truely interested in them they will automatically like you!

So just come armed with a few basic questions to ask everyone, from basic questions to kind of quirky (whens the last time an adult asked you what your favorite color was?), and let the conversation flow. If they say something interesting, ask follow up questions (oh, you like interior design? How did you get into that? What is your favorite room to design? How does interior design work, can you explain it to me? what is your favorite design that you have made and can you tell me about it?) I know nothing about interior design but I just made those questions up off the top of my head, and also as a bonus people like it if you act like they’re an authority and they can explain something they really enjoy to you, as long as you’re interested. They probably don’t get much opportunity to talk like this to people they know and will appreciate being able to talk to you like that.

this technique has saved me because 1) I have a fear that people wont like me and 2) I dont really like talking about myself. This fixes both problems because if you keep people talking and act like you are really interested, they just will like you! and if you keep asking questions most people get caught up in talking and you dont have to talk about yourself unless you want to 🙂

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