(Closed) Can't believe I'm posting a "BM Rant"

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I was Maid/Matron of Honor last year in my friends wedding and everything went great! The only drama I’m having with mine is one of my Bridesmaid or Best Man is expecting me to pay for everything for her, plane tickets, dress, hotel… (we’re having an out-of -state wedding). I think it’s important to not only pick the girls you’re closest with, but also the most responsible/reliable.

 

Post # 4
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

I really didnt have any drama with my bridesmaids. They all lived out of state so I never expected any help with the planning. I let them pick their Bridesmaid or Best Man dress style, and we were in and out in 30 minutes. They planned a lovely shower and bachelorette for me and everything went great.

I think a lot of the drama comes from unrealistic expectations.

Post # 5
Member
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in one that went great! There were only two attendants per side (I think the smaller number often translates into less drama). The bride asked us to show up on the day of, wear dresses of our choosing, and enjoy the party. The other Bridesmaid or Best Man and I actually bought the same dress in different colors to make sure we looked cohesive. I guess the only drama we had was that we couldn’t agree on shoes and for some reason had decided to get the same ones. The bride stepped in (with an exasperated email) and just told us which shoes to buy–which we both did immediately. 

That bride was super chill and it translated to how we behaved as BMs. She’s now one of my BMs and is as relaxed and helpful as ever. 

Post # 7
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I know I’ve put a few things on here about my sister/MOH, but in retrospect, it has really been small things that seemed a lot bigger in the heat of the moment.  Inevitably, something is going to go wrong…there’s pretty much no getting around that…and this is going to sound super old fashioned, but I have found that the best thing to do in order to clear the air is talk!  Not through text or Facebook, or even over the phone, but in person *GaSp!*  Haha!  And even more important, to listen to the other person/people involved when the feathers get ruffled.  Granted, BM’s are (typically) female and we females are funny creatures sometimes! 😉  We get moody and emotional and easily offended and when miscommunication comes into play it’s just ugly…combine that with PMS and, well Lord help us!  So your best line of defense against Bridesmaid or Best Man drama is just to keep the planning lighthearted and the lines of communication open.  I hope for you that you can come back on here when your wedding is over and tell all the bees how wonderful your BM’s were and how you pity those of us who had issues 🙂 

As for your current situation…that really sucks for you and for your friend/the bride.  It’s not your fault that your friend has chosen you to be there on her wedding day and that’s so not fair of that other girl to make either of you feel guilty for that.  I hate when people take a situation that has nothing to do with them and somehow makes it all about themself.  It’s like, get your head out of your a$$ for 2 seconds and take a look around…there are other people in this world besides you!!  Ok rant over 😀  Don’t fret too much over future drama with your BM’s…it will all be just fine!  And congratulations on your upcoming engagement!! *Fingers Crossed!!*

 

Post # 8
Member
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

There was plenty of drama with my bridesmaids, but I think the trick is to not let it bother you.  Just let it roll of your back and don’t let yourself stress out about it.  My Maid/Matron of Honor was floored at how calm I was about the crap that kept coming up with my BMs.  I wasn’t even sure if one of them was going to make it to the wedding (She skipped both the engagement party, the shower, and the bachelorette party), and another one of them brought the dude she was apparently cheating on her husband with as her +1.  Who cares?  They’re they ones that have to live with whatever they’re doing. If the one girl didn’t show to my wedding, there wasn’t anything I could do about it.  And my other Bridesmaid or Best Man wasn’t ruining MY marriage, she was ruining HERS! 

Just learn to take deep breaths and keep in mind that your wedding is going to be SO much fun and you get to marry your best friend!

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