(Closed) Can’t believe my eyes! The Great Stripper Debate revisited

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
5992 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@gothybride. “dirty/nasty/skanky/likely diseased sluts ”  wow, thats alot of judgment there for people you have never met – walk a mile in someone elses shoes and all that.  just because someone swings on a pole doesnt make them a bad person and personally your post says more about you than the working gals


Post # 63
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Whoa, candy in hoo-haws and glow-sticks and all kinds of weird things? That’s a little intense. That goes beyond stripper party to like a live porno basically!

What happened to the good ole days of a chick showing up in a french maid outfit and dancing and getting paid for nothing more? I think if you hire a stripper, she should be a stripper. If you hire a prostitute, you’ll get the sex acts for money. That’s really quite unfortunate. I guess everyone I know has had a normal stripper, not the other ones.

And any gyno will tell you candy UP THERE causes infections, yech.

I will say that i hired a stripper for a friend’s bachelorette party, and the woman on the phone was way creepy and kept saying that we could keep him as long as we wanted as long as we kept paying and he could stay with us all day if we wanted him to….yeah we went with another company lol

Post # 64
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I personally have no problem with my Fiance going to a Vegas strip club for his bachelor party. We’ve been to one together there (my roommate was working there occasional weekends for extra money) and it wasn’t a big deal. (Though I sat in his lap the whole time to avoid the issue.) He can even tell me about it later. Personally, I’ve been to enough male and female strip clubs to know it’s not a big deal for him and that it certainly won’t be happening at my stagette.

I don’t think we’re “kinky” or “abnormal’ just open-minded. And my roommate that “worked nights” wasn’t dirty or diseased in any way. She had a college degree but wanted to try acting and a regular nine-to-five made it harder to go on auditions. Actually, she was the perfect roommate because I worked days and she worked nights.

Post # 65
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with texasslawgirl’s posts. My fiance and I got engaged when we were 20 and 21 and living two and a half hours away. We kind of learned how to trust each other. If his friends want to take him out to a strip club, that’s fine. My prediction is that they will probably end up at the bar talking about hunting and football.

Post # 66
11808 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

Interesting!  I wonder where the groom was during all of this?  Back or front?

Post # 67
23 posts
  • Wedding: December 1969

No stripper for me, it’s not really my thing. However I’m fully aware that the groom will have one at his Vegas Bachelor party. I don’t think they’re going to a strip club, they’ll probably have the strippers in a hotel suite. I’m not really worried about it, I could care less about him having a dancer come to the room because I know that he knows the rules. If I didn’t trust him I wouldnt be marrying him. Also, he’s not a good liar and probably knows that I’d find out if there was any funny business.

Post # 68
5992 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

hubby had a bucks party but it was more about the person who arranged it than my hubby as the guy that arranged it wanted the bucks night he never had i guess. it was a bit hard core at some point – there was a sex show im told but otherwise it was lots of ladies stripping and yes, cream was involved. like OP said, there was 2 groups of guys – the ones in the front enjoying and the ones in the back enjoying a few beers, a meal and talking. 


Post # 69
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would not be okay with them going to a strip club for my fiance’s bachelor party. I don’t think he would even go. I know he went once before we started dating, but felt really bad about himself and the whole experience. We both agree that it just seems very degrading. I just feel like everyone deserves a certain amount of respect and stripping takes that away (ie people are no longer real people, but objects of amusement or satisfaction).



Post # 70
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Dang!  Some of that stuff just sounds like a yeast-fest waiting to happen!  Ewwww!

Now my guy (back in his college days in his fraternity) went to several strip clubs.  Whenever there was a bachelor party.  He didn’t do the private party thing and i think the wildest stuff they saw was pole dancers.  They called it “the shoe show”.

I have also been to bachelorette parties and had a private party where a male stripper came to the girls’ house and he also wanted us to lick whipped cream off of him.  Um NO!  I was not wanting any part of that !  I’ve also been taken to a male strip club for my re-bachelorette party after I got divorced.  Seriously..male strippers aren’t attractive to me at all!

But I trust T.  He and I have a vow of fidelity and with what happened to both of us in our pasts, we aren’t ever going to break apart our relationship by being intimate with another ever.  But I don’t worry if he has gone to a strip show in the past or if he goes to one for his bachelor party this time.  Nah.  We’re tight and we’re fine.  He’d see it as a “last fling” with the guys and basically a night out  and would probably be there maybe an hour or two and the rest of the time out to dinner or to a club or something.

Now what I consider inappropriate are the ones who go to clubs and kiss and make out with guys (I’ve seen brides to be doing this) and grinding on the dance floor on their wedding eve.  I am not going to be doing that.  No way. 

Post # 71
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I know that I am a minority voice on this board with my opinion, but I have to agree with part of this post:

“If my Fiance went to a strip club, it would be a deal breaker. I’d give him back the ring…”, “We have a very open and honest relationship. He is not “told what he can or can’t do”. He can do whatever he likes. But there are consequences for actions. I can do whatever I like. But same thing. Consequences.”

“For us, this is a simple concept of what we consider being faithful. He & I both consider looking at other people naked to be a form a cheating and it’s not something we will do, unless there happens to be a nude person in an otherwise normal film or something.”

“Lap dances are grounds for instant ending of our relationship.”

Now, that being said and me agreeing with it, is MY opinion. Just what I think, and my Fiance thinks the same way. Being untrue to you partner begins with the eyes, with physical actions and yes, my Fiance and I also feel that seeing another person naked is a form of cheating. When we decided to get married-when he proposed, we had already agreed on the boundaries of our relationship-that our bodies are reserved only for each other-that keeps it special, intimate and whole.

I know that a large part of the reason that we both feel this way is because we were both in previous marriages that involved cheating by our partners. Neither of us wants to revisit those feelings in any manner again. Neither of us wants to feel uncomfortable, or unnecessarily aggitated by imagine events that would transpire during the course of such an evening, or being put in the position of knowing what transpired with the spouse or partner of one of our friends during the same evening. We both choose to not be a part of this.

I’m not saying don’t do it, I’m not saying don’t have a great time-I’m just stating my opinion-that is all it is. I feel those sights and acts are reserved for your partner.


Post # 72
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

My Fiance went to a strip club on his vegas bachelor party…I knew before he went that he was going and he told me about it afterwards (a few funny stories, what it was like, etc.) and I was 100% ok with it. 

The reason I am fine with it…he is willing to be open and honest about it and never feels he has to hide anything.

Post # 73
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@missvintage-I have also told my bridesmaids that there should not be any of those innapropriate goodies at by bachelorette party. I have a feeling my Maid/Matron of Honor will try something just to tease me, but I will walk out if there is any of that.

Neither my Fiance or I are up for stripper entertainment. That, being said I trust him and he can go wherever he or his groomsmen want for the bach party. (just as long as there are no pictures or stories) He’ll tell me whatever they do anyways. I told him to tell his groomsmen that I am beyond ready to marry him & they better not give me a reason to be upset or I’ll take it out on them. My Fi thought that was funny b/c he knows I won’t ever yell at them.

We both have pretty tame ideas for our parties (we will prob be floating the river at different spots). If we can find a good concert I’d like to do that the same day & then all go out together.

Post # 74
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Not nice calling other girls skanky, diseased, sluts. Most strippers do not sleep with the clientel..I don’t know about ping pong balls and all of that, but the strip clubs I’ve gone to with Fiance had bouncers all around to prevent any touching and inappropriate behavior from the guys, and the girls collected their cash from the lap dance(if their was one) and moved on. I have always been impressed by pole dancing. I would break my neck.

Post # 75
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2020

I have told my BMs that if they get me a male stripper I’m leaving.  I think male strippers are nasty, I don’t want a banana hammock swinging in my face!  Yuck!

As for the Mr., I’ve told him that I am really not comforatble with him having a stripper there.  It’s not that I don’t trust him, it’s a respect thing.  Him going to s strip club with his friends for the soul purpose of “I’m going to oogle girls, have boobies in my face and by rubbed up and all over by a girl because it’s my last night as a single guy” doesn’t fly with me.  Bachelor/ette parties are there for you to celebrate your friends your last night of being single because you’re getting married, and to celebrate that next step of getting married.  Almost like a “my little baby is growing up” kinda thing.  They are letting you go from the nest.  If my man were to go to a strip club I would take it as a big sign of disrespect.  He does respect my wishes, me, or our relationship by going to a place to be rubbed on by another girl.  Although there are no feelings there, I should be the only girl rubbing up on anything of his.

I did tell him that if he wanted to go to a strip club I would be happy to have a joint party and we can have it go down that way.  Having me there would be some visual guilt for him.  Yeah, not a good thing, but it’s the truth.

He said he wouldn’t want to go, but if he did, it would be because his friends dragged him there.  I told him that he needs to let his friends know that there can’t be strippers and I told him that he can totally blame it on me.

Ugh.  Why strippers?? Whyyyy?

Post # 76
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2020

I think we all have feelings about this one way or the other… and it is good to have a place to come and voice our opinions, and be supported by our fellow bees. Sometimes we can’t talk to our guys about this, so Weddingbee is the next best thing.

That being said, I wanted to bring up Miss Boulevard’s post– she commented early on in this post & it got passed up. 

<span style=”font-family: tahoma; font-size: 13px;”>MissBoulevard (message) <span class=”numpostsandtitle” style=”font-size: 8pt;”>  May 18th, 2013  San Diego, CA (Boulevard)

Yay for the good guys! Plus I kind of like the stripper thing because I am positive I will never be doing anything they do and my guy can get it out of his system through watching them. Yay for other girls doing the crazy “look my leg is all the way behind my head” move, leaving me freedom to keep my legs below my waist.

HILARIOUS! That leg behind my head look has to hurt!!!! 🙂 Yay for humor!!!!

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