Post # 1
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
I’m the oldest of 2, and growing up my sister and I were always pretty close. Over the years, since I’ve started dating, my sister and I have not been getting along so well, and she always seems to find something wrong with every guy I’ve dated, even when the rest of the family approves.
She especially dislikes my Fiance, even though my parents and extended family all really like him. I can’t even bring myself to tell her about our recent engagement, because I know it will end with her berating me for my choice and me being in tears. She may be the youger of the two of us, but she bullies me nonstop when it comes to my lovelife, and it’s draining.
I would have loved for her to attend my wedding and even to be my moh, but with how afraid I am to even tell her that Fiance and I are engaged, I just can’t envision her RSVPing as a guest, let alone standing with me as a witness when Fiance and I say our “I dos”. Devastated.
Post # 3
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
@Papillion:
I have difficult relationships with my sisters and I know how horrible it can make you feel, but if she loves you like you know she does, she will just have to get over her very childish behaviour.
I would possibly steer clear of having her be your Maid/Matron of Honor, you want someone COMPLETELY supportive, just look at all the MOH-horror stories you see here. But, maybe when you tell her give her some time to calm down and leave a spot for her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, because once she gets over it she may be a little offended at you not including her or you may even decide you cant stand not to have her be a part. It may also work to make her a bit happier.
Good luck x
Post # 4
Member
358 posts
Helper bee
You should just surround yourself with people who love you no matter what. Anyone who wants to bring you down isent worth it. I would announce it publicly at a big event so she will be there but won’t have to tell her directly
Post # 5
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
@FutureMrsHallam: I’ve been thinking about making my Future Sister-In-Law the moh, because she and I are quite close, and I know she will give nothing but love and support to Fiance and I; she always has. (As awful as it might sound, she has been more of a sister to me than my own sister since Fiance and I have been together). I may extend an invite to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but even Fiance says it’s risky business to do that. I’ll have to wait and see
Post # 6
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
@ash064: Oh, I would love to do that so much; the problem is that the bulk of our family lives in my hometown (the ones that we want to eventually invite to the wedding- I don’t want to announce the engagement too publicly in case there are hard feelings when the invites are sent out and people are excluded). I plan on telling the extended family and close friends privately because I can’t host one big gathering when they’re far away, which means I will eventually have to face my sister. Never thought I’d be this anxious about talking to her
Post # 7
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
@Papillion: *hugs*
I feel ya. My twin sister spent the first 3 years of my r-ship with Fiance hating him. To the point where she wouldn’t even be in the same room. If he was dropping me off smoewhere she was and waived at her, she’d turn her back on him. I never understood what her problem with him was. A combo of thinking he’s not good enough, wanting to be #1 in my life, ect ect. We had a lot of fights and tears over it.
After we moved in together, and now that we’re engaged tho, it’s like she’s finally accepted it. And is making an effort to be nice and know him.
I think you should not let her have the power over you to fill you with anxiety. Treat her like a bandaid and rip that bad boy off.
(edited to add, i mean about telling her. not cutting her out)
Post # 8
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
@Papillion: Im having my Future Sister-In-Law as my only Bridesmaid or Best Man (Best friend being MOH) because she is closer to me than my sisters too!
Eerie..!
Post # 9
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
@Papillion: I am having my Future Sister-In-Law as my maid of honour mad we are close, I have made me sister a bridesmaid , however if my sister disliked my Fiance as muh as yours did there would be no way I would make her a bridesmaid
Post # 10
Member
2598 posts
Sugar bee
@Papillion: Unless your sister has a valid reason to dislike your fiancé, as in he’s abusive, disrespectful, a mooch or is otherwise bad to you or a drain on you life, then frankly, she needs to STFU.
Who you choose is not up to her. If I were you, I’d call or write her with the news and as soon as she starts in, stop her and tell her calmly that she has already made her objections known but that this is your choice and she needs to respect it and your right to make it.
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