(Closed) Can't control my jealously (Closed)

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@desperatetowed:  uhhh, seriously? You would tell him that? I dont see anything wrong with him wanting to wait until you finish college. How old are you?

Post # 4
Member
482 posts
Helper bee

@desperatetowed:  how old are you?  i think your username speaks volumes, desperation isnt attractive in the slightest. youve only been dating 8 months and youre pushing him for marriage. that doesnt bode well.

 

i guarantee you if you tell him that you will leave him and find someone else who will marry you, you will end up single..

 

i dont  see the sense of urgency, you need to relax. i can see how working in that field can bring on a bit of envy but your guy obviously isnt ready, and justly so. its only been 8months! stop pushing this guy..

 

Post # 5
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

[moderated for name calling]

 

 

 

Post # 6
Bee
1901 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza

8 months is really not a long time to be with someone. Slow down and enjoy your relationship. Maybe you should find another job — one that doesn’t require you be around brides all day — rather than another boyfriend. 😉

Post # 7
Member
1848 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Besides the 8 months together part – for which I have a rather unpopular opinion that would probably get flamed – I am confused. How old are you?

Post # 9
Member
6215 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I think you should try to find a new job. You’re feeling like since you see young people who are getting married every day, it’s the norm, when in fact it’s really not. Think about it- are you ready to commit yourself for the rest of your life to this man whom you have known for 8 months? He basically said that he is thinking he might want to marry you, but not right now because you haven’t been together long enough, and he’s right. If you asked most of these young brides who are getting married how long they have been together, most of them would say 4+ years. 

If you would want to marry him even if it was in a courthouse WITHOUT a dress, then okay, but you still have to wait until he is ready. If you just want a wedding, then your priorities are not in order, and you are not even close to being ready for marriage. 

By The Way, there’s no reason why you can’t just buy a dress if you want one. If you have the money, would it make you happy to buy a dress and wear it around the house, or try on the dresses at the store? Do you feel like you can’t have one, and that’s why you want it so badly?

Post # 10
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Wow.

Post # 11
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

@mockblock:  That’s what I’m thinking as well.

Post # 12
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m tempted to call shenanigans, but I won’t. OP, the only way this turns out well is if you lay off your poor boyfriend about proposing when he’s not even close to ready, get a job that doesn’t light a desperation fire under your ass, and work on being the girl he would want to marry without an ultimatum. And if you still get jealous, think about how much fun you will have dress shopping and wedding planning in the future when the women you see in your store have their weddings long behind them. 

Post # 14
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Getting married is not about wearing a pretty dress. It is about wanting to spend the rest of your life with your SO – from the sound of your post you’d take anyone as long as you get a wedding and a pretty dress, that’s more important to you than the person. So thankfully your boyfriend knows the time isn’t right, because you’re clearly not ready. If you threaten to leave him he will run. Why are you willing to throw away a fairly new, but apparantly good, relationship over wanting a wedding and a pretty dress?

 

And no one suggested you start a pinterest to wedding plan now – that would be completely pointless and just cause you to lay more pressure on the poor guy, and continue to make him feel like you care more about a wedding than a marriage.

Post # 15
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I’m sorry, but you sound ridiculous. You’re thinking of leaving a guy who actually can see himself marrying you after only 8 months together just so you can have a pretty dress and a party and be like all the other women who have put YEARS into their relationships and built a solid foundation to get to that point where they can come into your shop and purchase a dress? What, do you think if you leave this relationship that you’ll run into someone tomorrow, fall magically in love and he’ll propose by next weekend? Por favor. 

Post # 16
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

Time to get a different job, OP. You’re still quite young, you haven’t been together that long, and many of the people you went to school with – sad to say it – are likely going to wind up divorced in a few years. Young marriages CAN work, but the odds are against them. There’s a lot of financial struggle involved, not to mention struggles with maturity and security in a relationship.

 

I was with my husband for nearly 4 years before he asked me to marry him. That last year was difficult. In retrospect, I’m very glad the way that it happened.

 

You have 2 years of schooling still left. What are the odds that you will finish, you think, if you get married? Plenty of women do, sure. But an even bigger number often don’t. It’s not unreasonable at all to wait until after you’ve finished school.

 

What is it about marriage that makes you so envious? You are putting a lot of your focus on the dress and the wedding. It ends very quickly. Think on this.

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