(Closed) Can't Decide on Kids

posted 5 years ago in No Kids
Post # 2
Member
2544 posts
Sugar bee

What is it that is in the way of you having kids besides having given up on having the life that you imagined? We are always changing, our lives are always changing. You had to change your expectations to cope with a situation that turned out differently than you expected. But that situation has changed so it seems to me that there’s nothing standing in the way of you having another crack at the life you’d hoped for. Granted, things are very rarely as rosy as we’d like them to be and it’s safe to assume that some things will turn out differently than expected, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be great. 

The only area where there does look to be a little bit of friction is on the job front, if you think you’d have to give up on what you’ve worked for then it’s at least worth a more practical discussion about how you would work around that and hold onto that part of your life and identity. I certainly don’t think that having kids and working is impossible – I intend to and most people that have kids that I know do – but it’s much more complicated without a partner or a flexible work schedule. Now you have a partner, are already somewhat established in your area of work, and you say that you have flexibility in your work schedule.

Make a list of pros and cons and an outline of a plan. If the only thing holding you back is your original feelings of loss, and fear of losing it again, don’t let the negative things that have happened in the past get in the way of your future. 

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