(Closed) Can't decide on MOH…

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

it is your wedding… You should go with your heart! Just you have a family member in your wedding party doesnt automatically mean she has to be the maid of honour. 

Pick whoever you feel the most comfortable with and trust the most! At the end of the day they are all going to be really excited to be able to share in your special day! 

Post # 4
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@FutureFong:  What “duties” do you think your friend wouldn’t be up to?

It is also an option to not have a Maid/Matron of Honor. Not everyone does.

Post # 5
7739 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FutureFong:  I say forget about “duties” and pick who you’re closest to.

(Or have no Maid/Matron of Honor at all, simply call all your bridal party members bridesmaids).

Post # 6
5176 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@FutureFong:  Maybe don’t have a MOH? Tell all your ladies how much you love them equally and just couldn’t choose. Then they can split the “duties” if they want. 

Post # 7
124 posts
Blushing bee

@FutureFong: Selecting bridesmaids/MOH is so stressful/hard!! I have had my own troubles…..

I wouldn’t go with your cousin at all, you should never choose someone because you feel like you should! Think about the person you want right beside you on the biggest day of your life, and go with who your heart tells you! I know it’s hard to put other people’s feelings aside, but if they are your close friends then I’m sure they will understand! I also wouldn’t pick someone based on who may do a better “job.” I understand your concern, but that shouldn’t be the deciding factor. The decision should be soley based upon your relationship with that person in my opinion 🙂 Also, I’m sure the other bridesmaids will come together to help/support whoever you choose!


Post # 8
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@FutureFong:  Just have them both do it together! I couldn’t pick either because my bridesmaids are equally special/beautiful friends to me and I wouldn’t rank one over another so i’m actually not having an official Maid/Matron of Honor at all! You can do whatever you like, its your wedding 😉

Post # 10
598 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Think about the duties you expect your Maid/Matron of Honor to have FIRST – my Maid/Matron of Honor is only responsible for showing up the day of my wedding with dress on, bouquet in hand. Therefore, I picked my very best friend (I would have any ways) who lost her job and isnt able to plan anything, but she is my rock. 

Post # 11
1233 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Your wedding should be a celebration and not cause hurt feelings.  If your cousin is going to be offended, I would have no Maid/Matron of Honor.  But if she’ll be fine, I would go to your second friend, and explain the situation.  You had a terrible time choosing but your first friend is going to be offended if she’s not Maid/Matron of Honor, so you are forced to pick her.  Then go to your first friend and ask her to be Maid/Matron of Honor, but let her know she can decline because her schedule is so very busy.  

If you’re having bridesmaids, I think a Maid/Matron of Honor is a good idea.  She’s like the captain of the team.  But sparing the feelings of your loved ones is more important, so you might just skip it.

Post # 12
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@FutureFong:  nope, not wierd – i don’t think. honestly, as long as you stress that you love them all equally and you didn’t want to choose between them, no one else is going to pay attention that your fi had a best man and groomsmen and you have bridesmaids. 

also – you could give each one a special task. the flaky one can hold your bouquet cause she can’t possibly flake on that, the organized one could take control of the shower/hold the rings/keep everyone on schedule another can make a speech, etc. 

Post # 13
3508 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@FutureFong:  If it were me I would have both my friends! I have a Matron and Maid of honor. My Matron of honor is a planner for sure and a good friend for 9 years but my maid of honor has been my friend for 2 years and is sooooo excited for my wedding. It worked out pretty perfect

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