- 7 years ago
- Wedding: January 2012
I have so many elements in my life that make wedding planning difficult. In fact, as most girls dreamed and fanatasized about their big day, I cringed. It’s not as if I’m not a big romantic – I definitely am. It’s that my family dynamic is so complicated and tense. To make things even harder, I am Canadian and am marrying an American – in America.
I am trying to decide beween 3 wedding options. I will try to give the pros and cons of each.
1) Elopement at Sandals in Antigua.
Pros: Easy/not alot of planning needed. I always sort of fantasized about this type of wedding. There is something incredibly romantic about eloping. This solves all the issues I have with which family members to invite/not invite. It is affordable and beautiful! My family has already told me that they would not be offended at all.
Cons: My fiance’s family would be offended. I get a little bummed thinking about being alone for my wedding day. I worry that I will regret not doing a ‘real wedding’.
2) Small restaurant wedding and dinner in US (20 guests)
Pros: Easy. Also affordable. Our selected date for this is such that I will already have my most VIP in town for my grad. VIPs on both sides with be able to celebrate with us. REally sweet venue. Close to our house. Great food. Also, my mom has agreed to have an informal – but very fun party/reception for us in Canada when we go there for vacation this summer. Fiance’s parents will probably help out with honeymoon $$. Another plus: Gifts/$$!
Cons: Guest list. I feel that when there are family issues, bigger weddings are better as the guests who are uncomfortable can keep their distance. This arrangement will be awkward for my dad, who, along with my 1/2 brother, will be the only one from his side of the family. My parents split while I was in-utero. My half brother’s mom, my dad’s ex wife, will be very insulted that I am not inviting her. I am not budging on this, it would be ridiculous to invite her to a wedding of only 20 guests. However, my bro might be offended by this as well and decide not to come. On top of this stress, this is also the first time my fiance’s and my family’s will be meeting, which is stressful enough without all the dynamics. I must note that I could be overthinking all of this and will all work out smoothly; it is possible.Another con is that my fiance’s family will be offended that we are not marrying in a church; they are catholic and i am agnostic. As you can see, I have put the most thought into this option.
3) Big wedding in Canada – 100+ guests
Pros: With the big wedding, I can invite everyone! Can do a beautiful large scale wedding much cheaper than here in CT. Can pick all of the decor, venue, catering, cake, etc.. all the fun stuff that goes into wedding planning.
Cons: Fiance’s family would all have to travel (flight + hotel). I feel like it is a lot to ask; too much! I do not think they would be as willing to offer $$ for the honeymoon if they had to spend so much attending our wedding. Plus, planning a wedding in one country while living in another seems very stressful, although my mom would be a huge help. Cost is a major factor.
As you can see, I am really having a hard time with this. I have not been able to enjoy my engagement at all thus far. I don’t know if there is a solution that I will ever feel 100% about but if you guys could share some advice, I would be so grateful.