Post # 1
Need some advice
I am 31, my husband is 38
We have a few big trips planned (already booked tickets and everthing) till the end of December (each trip is a month)
We are also planning to buy a new bigger house end of next year, only just started looking for it and I can already tell it will be a difficuly process
Turning 31 it really hit me because it was actually the age I was planning to get pregnant (we only want one kid), we originally wanted to start trying at 31 because I feel like if we wait longer we might run into some fertility problems given our age.
But I don’t know when to start trying…I also want to obviously start taking prenatals and lead a healthier lifestyle (avoid alcohol etc)
Part of me wants to start trying now but then I think it’s more rational to start trying when we move into our new house but this maybe closer to the end of 2022 or even later.
My mother struggled with infertility and had a very difficult pregnancy so I am a bit worried
What do you guys think
Post # 2
I world personally just wait until after the trips. I don’t see the need to be in a bigger house first. That can always easily happen while pregnant or after the kid is born.
Post # 3
I would wait for the trips but not the house. You don’t need to own a house to have a baby. We have two littles and are still renting and it’s fine.
I think the standard advice is to start prenatal 3 months before you TTC.
All that said I wouldn’t stress about infertility at this point. 31 is still pretty young and your moms infertility doesn’t mean you will have issues. My mom had severe infertility issues (had early menopause shortly after she had me at age 27), but I didn’t have any serious trouble conceiving my babies at age 32 and 35. (I was definitely worried about it though so I feel you.) It’s all a crapshoot really.
Post # 4
The first trimester is no picnic, so while being pregnant on your trips won’t mean you can’t travel and continue your trips, you aren’t going to enjoy them nearly as much.
As far as the house goes, the need for bigger space will be more pressing as kids get older. You don’t need the bigger house right away. And remember, you’re starting with just one kid provided you don’t end up with twins. My cousin lived in a small apartment at the time and put her baby in the bedroom while she and her husband slept in the living room. She has since bought a house.
Post # 5
Waiting until after the trips is reasonable, but as others have said babies don’t need a house. Especially if you have fertility concerns based on family history I’d start on the sooner side (as someone who did IVF I’m glad we started sooner than we were truly ready – it allowed us to clock a few months and let us get help that much sooner).
Post # 6
I started trying at 32… and now I’m 34 with one miscarriage under my belt, in the midst of my first IVF cycle. If I knew then what I know now, I would have started trying earlier. But of course, you have no idea if you will have a difficult time getting pregnant. I do think we as a society underestimate the prevalence of infertility, and how much harder it does get once you hit 30 and beyond.
Post # 7
I’d start in January. Most of my friends have had their babies in one bedroom apartments and it’s fine. Moving and buying a house is hard but people do it all the time it’s no reason to delay getting pregnant a full year.
Post # 8
Start when you’re ready! I put it off until I was truly ready for my life and it’s priorities to change. I’m 35 and this is my second month trying. We personally wanted a house before trying and to be completely financially free. That’s us. Our market is a tough one to get into, so that was very important to us. If we had a kid while renting our apartment, we would have never been able to buy a house.
Post # 9
Agree with previous posters advice, I would not start trying until your travel is over.
currently going through 1st trimester and it’s ROUGH – the last thing I’d want to do is be travelling. Good luck and enjoy the next few months ahead, sounds like you’ve got heaps on!
Post # 10
If kids are really important to you, then I wouldn’t put it off. One in 10 women go through the menopause before 40. You can have the big holidays and buy the house any time, but you only have a set timeframe for having kids – and there’s no way of knowing when that ends.
Post # 11
I agree with the others that, unless you’re in a situation where a kid will immediately and severely impact your savings, there’s no need to wait on a house. We’re going to bring our kiddo home to a 3rd floor walk up and then probably buy a house when he’s 5-6 months old, depending on a few work things that impact how long we intend to stay in this area. It’s been great for prioritizing the must-haves!
As for travel, if it were a difference of several months, I’d say to just suck it up and go for it because you never know how long it’ll take…I felt pretty crummy in the first/early second tri, but still enjoyed our trips we took. BUT, the circumstances were different (we had been TTC for a long time and didn’t think it was worth stopping for two trips), and if we’d been at the beginning of our journey, I’d have probably delayed a month or two in able to be enjoy food a lot more! And drinks. Vacation without cocktails isn’t nearly as fun.