- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
Hello, bees. I just want to start by saying that you’re all wonderful and helpful and that I feel a lot less crazy and irrational than I thought I really was. I think I’m actually quite normal now! But I was wondering if I could get some advice to further ease my mind and make waiting less crazy.
I’ve been with my boyfriend almost two years. We’ve known each other for about 7. Long story short, we realized after 5 years we’d been looking for love in all the wrong places, and here we are.
So, we actually talk about our future a lot. He often is the one to bring it up. For a while, I was getting somewhat antsy because it’s talked about so much, but I could never really tell if it was actually going anywhere. Then this past month, we had a really stupid argument (that we thankfully fixed right away!), but in it he let it slip that he already had a ring, and he’s been sitting on it for over three months! I was a mix of happy and sad, happy to know it was coming, but sad because it ruined any sort of a surprise. Now that I know a ring exists, I’m going a little nuts. I know he loves me, and he proves it in everything he does every day. But at the same time, I can’t hardly help the irrational thought that he might not ever give it to me, that we might never marry. He’s told me he’s afraid. He doesn’t want to do it wrong, and there’s always some other piece of life that gets in the way. But that’s always going to be true of life. I feel like he keeps putting it off because he’s scared, he’s never done it before, and he knows life will change. I know that he loves me, though. And I don’t know how I can possibly further ease his fears. I don’t want to push him, because I want him to be the one who feels ready and comfortable to make that real move. I guess… what should I be doing with myself? I don’t think there’s anything in my power I can do to ease his fears anymore.