Can't get over best friend's horrible reaction to my engagement

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 46
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

She is so toxic. She is extremely jealous, petty, and obviously thrives on negativity. Let the friendship go now before she puts a damper on wedding planning. 

Post # 47
Member
993 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

… WTF?????

ok, well, first of all your friend is BAT SHIT INSANE. If you don’t think diamonds are important and you have something else that’s TOTALLY FINE… but don’t TELL people it’s a diamond (especially a 2ct.. wtf) and also bash people’s rings…. Just say “oh we opted not to go for a diamond, maybe we’ll switch it out one day!” and move on

second, how dare she make that series of horrible comments to you upon your engagement. Everything about what she said was innapropriate. It is none of her god damned business how much your fiance spent on the ring, for all she knows its a family stone he had set, or he’s been saving for a year, or he got a great deal… or none of these things and it’s just the ring he wanted to give you. It doesn’t matter, the only correct response is “CONGRATULATIONS WHAT A BEAUTIFUL RING!”

finally, she sounds like someone who needs to be the center of everything and is down about your decisions. I have a friend who I don’t necesarily think has made all the wisest decisions, but I still love and support her through them because it’s her life. and DAMN STRAIGHT I celebrate every milestone with her because she’s my friend and I love her, I don’t go to her party all pissy because of xyz.

Your friend has shown her true colours, cut the tether of your friendship and move on, you’ll be much happier for it

Post # 48
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

When my best friend got engaged I was going through a really hard time. I was miserable in my life and myself and my boyfriend weren’t getting on, I was feeling truly terrible about myself and life in general. I’ll admit that when she told me she’d got engaged I was quite jealous, purely because I was so unhappy. That being said, I didn’t dream of letting her know that. I told her I was thrilled for her and sent her a nice card and let her chat my ear off about potential wedding plans. I’ll admit I wasn’t really feeling it but hid it from her because she’s my friend and it would have been wrong to spoil her happiness because I was in a bad place. Moral of the story, is that a true friend will put their bad feelings to one side and be happy for you and support you no matter what. I’m not saying I’m perfect but being a good friend is important to me and it should be to your friend too. If she feels jealous or bad she should put it to one side for the sake of your friendship and if she won’t then she’s not much of a friend.

 

Post # 49
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee

I know in reality it is easier said than done, but I would never be friends with someone who isnt happy for my sucess.

In my opinion, a friend is someone who is happier when you are happy, and sadder when you are sad.

Someone who is miserable when you are happy isnt a friend. Those kind of people would rather you be poor, alone and unsuccessful because it makes them feel better about themselves

Post # 50
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2019

naynay201 :  Well first off, I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this during such a special time in your life! I also got engaged 2 days ago and told my best friend of over 10 years yesterday and her reaction was less than expected, to say the least. In her defense, my now fiance and I hit a rough patch at the beginning of the year and thought seriously about splitting. It wasn’t due to serious issues like cheating or anything, but we worked it out over several months of serious thought and conversations,  like adults do. I made the mistake of talking to her about these issues mainly because they were weighing heavily on me and I just wanted to talk to someone about it. Once the boyfriend and I were back on solid ground, I never really revisited the issue with my best friend. So after months go by and then she hears that we are looking at possibly getting engaged soon, you can imagine her reaction. But at that point, I didn’t feel like I needed to explain myself I guess. Plus, to make matter worse, I designed my ring and knew the proposal was coming so he didn’t surprise me with some big over the top thing. So when she asked how he did it and I told her nothing crazy, I got back a simple “lol” as a response and that was the end of the conversation. I know how you feel girl. I’m just dropping the whole issue with her completely. I’m not reaching out to her anytime soon. If she wants to contact me that’s fine but I’m not putting the work in on my end. I hope it works out for you! Sorry for the long post!!

Post # 51
Member
848 posts
Busy bee

naynay201 :  She sounds like a witch.  I texted one of my good friends when I got engaged (we texted at least several times a week, we weren’t really the phone call type of girl friends, plus work opposite and weird schedules), and she said “let me text you right back” and I haven’t heard from her since. That was 2 years ago. 

Post # 52
Member
9530 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

“Am I crazy or is this not the appropriate thing so say EVER , yet alone when your best friend is announcing her engagement.”

You’re not crazy…

It sounds like you’ve got a good measure of her, so all I’ll add to your own obvservations is this–surround yourself with people who build you up, not those who eagerly tear you down.

Post # 53
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2018

 

naynay201 :  Her first reaction at the news of your engagement was to look at your ring and ask how much it cost? She is not a good friend. Not one of my friends has asked how much my ring costs, how many carats, etc. They’ve done what friends are supposed to do: say my ring is beautiful and be happy for me.

It sounds like she regrets not getting a real diamond – if she were really serious about diamonds being a waste of money, she would not lie to people about hers being a 2 carat diamond. 

I used to have a friend that seemed to take pleasure when unfortunate things happened to others. I’m happy I cut her out of my life. Now I feel so blessed to be surrounded by supportive, loving friends. 

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