(Closed) Can't get over how my mother died…

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

*hugs*  I’m so sorry. 

Post # 18
3765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Also wanted to add: talk about it. Talk about the painful days, talk about the happy ones, talk about your feelings now, talk about how she pissed you off when you were a teenager, talk about how you miss her. Talking helps soo much.

Post # 19
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m so sorry for your loss. No words seem to be able to help at times like these.

I’ve been where you are and one thing that helps me feel better is to know that your loved one is out of pain now and in a better place. Try to think of happy memories because that’s how she would want you to remember her.

Post # 20
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@katepoppy:  My father is also very ill and I have nightmares that this will be how it ends. I know it is cliche, but time really does heal all wounds. This just happened to you so you will need some time to come to terms with it. Of course it will always be painful, but I’m sure that with the passing of time, it will be less agonizing.

I am very sorry for your loss and I wish you and your family the very best.

Post # 21
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m really sorry for your loss! It’s the hardest thing! ๐Ÿ™

Post # 22
7682 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I am sorry for your loss.  I lost my mom to cancer 4 years ago this month.  One thing that comforted me that I read is something I read in a hospice booklet.  It was something like this:  As we say “there she goes”, all of those who have gone before her are rejoicing and saying “Here she comes!”  It is also good to know that she is no longer in pain.  It does get easier, in time.  Hold on to the good memories.  Keep them clear in your head and in your heart.  Blessings and peace.  If you believe in God, ask for His strength and peace to help you in your times of sorrow.  I am asking Him this for you now.

Post # 23
9130 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I’m so sorry  ๐Ÿ™  It must have been a great source of comfort to her to have you there with her though.

Please look into a little counseling to help you work through these feelings!  The loss of a very close loved one can leave some PTSD-like symptoms and you’re better off working through them with a professional.


Post # 24
1460 posts
Bumble bee

I’m so sorry for your loss ๐Ÿ™

Post # 25
3044 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@katepoppy:  OP, So so Sorry for your loss. All I can say is you got to be with her in her last moments & Im sure that meant the world to her. Hang in there. Praying for you & your family!

Post # 26
1889 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am so sorry for your loss.  I have not experienced this exact feeling of only being able to picture her in the hospital in pain, but I know my mom told me she did when my sister died… Right now it’s very fresh in your mind so I don’t know if there’s an exact answer for how to block out the bad images in your head.  I think all you can do is try to remember the good memories of her, maybe look at pictures of happier times if/when you’re able to, talk to a counselor, talk to your friends, and try to stay involved in activities that bring you joy.

Post # 27
5188 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@katepoppy:  So sorry for your loss. I lost my Grandma to pancreatic cancer just this past Friday. It is a terrible thing to watch someone battle with. Having said that, remember that she is no longer in pain. You were there to support her and that means a lot. Lots of hugs to you and your family! 

Post # 28
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@katepoppy:  This is my situation. To a T. It has been 12.5 years ago now and I can tell you with complete honesty when i think about my mom I never think of her last days, even though shortly after her death it was all I thought about. I think of our wonderful life and memories together. I am so sorry for your loss, but soon the nightmare you experienced will fade and be replaced by the happier memories you had together. Hang in there.

Post # 29
11465 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I also am very sorry for your loss. ๐Ÿ™  

Both of my closest friends have now lost their mothers, one in a situation very much like your own.  It has been such a deep loss for her, and the grief has been very difficult for her to bear.

May the Lord comfort you and your family. ((HUGS))

Post # 30
2625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@katepoppy:  I’ m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how you must feel, but I hope that you can find some peace and rest soon. *hugs*

Post # 31
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Blue Horse Farm

My Grandmother died in a somewhat similar fashion.  Although she did not have cancer, she was sick for a long time with COPD and was barely able to walk and had to have oxygen.  She also was always in severe pain and was on pain medications, which was hard because they would change her personality and she wasn’t always herself.


She was like a mother to me and raised me until I was 11.  The last few days she was alive she slipped into a coma and was unconcious at her house, with all of us (me, my sister, my grandfather, my mom) by her side.  It was really hard being there and not being able to talk to her and knowing she was going to die.  I can’t explain how, but in my heart I just knew it was her time and she was going to go.


I was with her when she passed – it was just me, my mom and my sister.  I remember sitting there with all of us holding her hand and us telling her it was okay to let go and to move on, that we would all be okay.  Watching someone you love die is one of the most painful things any of us will have to go through – but I was comforted in knowing that she was no longer suffering and could finally be in peace. 

As time moves on, you won’t think of her when she was sick or her last days.  You will only remember the good memories you had of her and be comforted of that.  I never remember my Grandmother sick anymore.  I always picture her as she was when I was little – beautiful, carefree and happy.  She also visits me in my dreams often – and she is always how I remembered her as a child.

I’m so terribly sorry for your loss.  Cancer is an awful disease and losing a mother is so incredibly painful and hard.  Just know your mother is finally free of pain and suffering, and that no matter what you do in life, she will be there with you.  She will be there on your wedding day and when you have babies, trust me, I still feel my Grandmother in everything I do.  I will keep you in my thoughts for your continued healing.


The topic ‘Can't get over how my mother died…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors