Post # 1
Hello, so I’m not actually a shy person – I just can’t handle attention or being in charge of things! I get major panic attacks and am so anxious I can never enjoy myself..so this brings me to the thought of getting married: I’m sure I could do the ceremony but I’m scared sh*tless about the reception 🙁 I’m only having 25 guests and I’m just so worried about planning and emplementing the thing. I really just can’t handle people looking at me all day or me wondering if eveyone is enjoying themselves. I keep trying to reassure myself that as long as I (and Fiance or course) enjoy ourselves then screw everyone else but I cant help worrying!
I’m worried the guests wont mingle, people will be bored, my mom will say/do something embarassing, I’ll flip out and yell at someone,or I’ll be judged for being cheap, and I really just need some reassurance ):
Post # 3
As long as the guests know someone, don’t worry about them mingling and making sure that they have a good time. I think this is why some people have a ‘host’ at their wedding so that the bride and groom don’t have to worry about how all their guests are feeling.
Post # 4
If the bride and groom are having a good time, so will everyone else. Seriously, the is the secret to a good wedding, regardless of the size. You ARE the bride, so it will be difficult not to be the center of attention, but focus on your groom, your vows, etc. Everything else will take care of itself.
Post # 5
I was having a total panic attack that everyone would hate everything I planned and have no fun, and think everything was ugly when I met up with our MC for coffee and to go over the timeline for the wedding. He said what became my mantra for the two weeks prior. “Entertainment will be provided; having fun is their responsibility”.
Post # 6
Oh poopoo. I’m sure than since your reception is only 25 it is 25 of your closest family and friends. How can they NOT mingle and have fun?
Post # 7
Oh dear – I am the same way. I never really imagined that I wanted a big wedding – I’m more of a courthouse elopement kinda gal. But here I am! I’ll be having one with about 150 guests in less than a year, because thats what my partner and our families really want.
So far I’ve found that it’s helpful to separate everything wedding related into 3 categories – not all at once, mind you, but as they come up.
1. Things I’m really psyched about
2. Things about weddings that I hate
3. Things that I don’t give a crap about
I have specific rules for myself. I spend all my time and energy planning things for category 1 – it’s actually pretty fun. Things in category 3 I delegate to other people – family, friends, bridesmaids, el fiancino, etc. They love it and totally get into it. You know who the weddingy people in your life are – give them specific things to do and they’ll be very flattered, but won’t try to take over the whole thing. And category 2 – I’ve learned to put my foot down, and be very clear about what I do not want.
I don’t know if you’ll find this helpful or not, but I want you to know that you’re not the only one feeling panic attacks, pressure to be the center of attention, etc. This is how I’ve dealt with those feelings, and I’m feeling much cooler about the whole (dum dum DUM) wedding thing now.
Post # 8
You will be fine I promise!! Sometimes I get anxious thinking about having to conversate with a lot of people and leading up to my wedding day I was definitely nervous about this! However, the day of my wedding I was just 100% excited. I have a prescription for Clonazepam (anti-anxiety) and I didnt even think about taking it the day of the rehearsal dinner (95 guests) or wedding (120 guests)! You will be on a natural high from all the excitement and your adrenaline will keep you from not being nervous! Just remember to breathe if you do get nervous at any point. Try to keep things in perspective – this is just one day of your lives and ultimately you are marrying the man you love! If you are happy and have a great time, so will everyone else!! In every picture I have a giant smile on my face and so do all of my guests!! I would also recommend reading “The Conscious Bride” – I read it before my wedding day and it helped me a lot! Best wishes!
Post # 9
@clarebee:I just ordered the book from amazon 🙂 Thank you so much – I’m sure it’ll help
Post # 10
Please know you are not alone! I feel the same way you do and would much rather elope ans avoid all the hassle!
I’ve heard many people say they were anxious as well but the day of their wedding, things moved too fast to be nervous. Maybe you will be the same way!
Good luck to you! Take deep breathes!
Post # 11
@MadameLady: Great! It has good exercises about how to remain calm and centered on your wedding day!
Post # 12
I’m so glad I saw this thread! I’ve been engaged for two weeks and am getting married in seven months. The last two weeks have been such a whirlwind (we’ve found our venue, set a date and I have my dress) that I haven’t had time to breathe! Last night I was thinking about the wedding and my parents and all the attention and FREAKED OUT! The anxiety was overwhelming!
I just ordered the book too.
Post # 13
@MadameLady: You sound JUST LIKE ME…only, i’m getting married in less than a month! It freaks me out..I hate having attention on myself, and am having a small wedding (25 ppl) so I know I can’t avoid it.
And I am the biggest worrier you’ll ever meet – I freak out every day thinking that people will not have fun at my wedding or think it’s weird or lame. Ugh…I just want to enjoy my day, but I’m so worried about EVERYTHING! Hopefully everyone is right, and I have nothing to worry about.