(Closed) Can’t invite everyone :-(

posted 8 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

What if you just had cake and punch for them after the ceremony? That way you could still invite them, but instead of coming to the wedding and then just having to leave right away you could have a chance to socialize with them, without inviting them all to the reception.

Post # 4
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@farmersgirl: It would probably be really challenging to have a ceremony, get the guests of the “real” reception gone, then a cake and punch social, then photographs, then get to the “real” reception. 

My only advice is that only you know the social dynamic to know if it’s acceptable to invite just some of the group.  I had a situation like that (inviting the whole group would lead to 100 extra guests, inviting some would be problematic) so I invited none.  Also, keep in mind that at only 3 weeks out, anyone you invite now might think of themselves as a “backup” guest.

Post # 5
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@CoffeeHound:I meant cake and punch for all the guests, sorry I didn’t make that clear.

I have seen this done at many weddings in my church, everyone has punch and cake or whatever you want to serve, and greet the B&G, then the B&G leave for pictures and the guests who are invited to the reception go to the reception place.  

Post # 6
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I had this problem too. I ended up inviting all the leaders at my church (not anyone else). If you can’t do that, just invite your closest friends. Or no one at all if you can stand that. But people ahve to understand it’s about money, no hard feelings. And making a church party would be really cool too. Like a church reception separate from a family reception…even a potluck celebration.

Post # 8
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@whao1225: Having been on the side of the people in the bible study, I’m sure they understand! I know that I’ve wondered if the bride in the group was going to invite everybody and it makes sense when she doesn’t. Weddings are expensive! 

We got married on the other side of the country, so I kept debating if I should “invite” people we knew where we live. I didn’t want them to feel like they had to get us a gift, but I wanted them to know that if it was easier, we would have loved for them to come. It’s just all a tricky situation.

Post # 9
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@CoffeeHound: Cake and punch receptions are very common where I’m from. I know a lot of older guests enjoy them cause then they don’t have to sit through the whole reception. 

Post # 10
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@farmersgirl: Oh, ok.  I just assumed that she had the entire reception already planned and paid for since she is 3 weeks out.  Otherwise, it sounds like you’re suggesting that she basicall move the cocktail hour (sans cocktails) to the church.  That sounds like a good idea. 

The only thing I’d be worried about is that people invited to the punch reception but not the meal reception might be a little miffed.  Any experience with that?  Do people understand? 

Post # 11
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@CoffeeHound:I think most people understand that you can’t invite everyone πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Member
572 posts
Busy bee

I am in this same predicament. My Fiance and I are both church leaders and we have over 400 members. It is impossible to invite all of them to the reception. We thought of the cake and punch reception, but it is just not feasible logistically. We have decided to only invite those that we are close to and leave it at that. Weddings are very expensive and I would understand if I was on the other end.

My Fiance is also in many organizations where we almost have to invite all of the members plus SO. You have to draw the line somewhere and it is not fair to you as a couple to make your plans fit others.

One couple at our church simply had a cake/punch invitation and invited the whole church. Only 5 of us showed up. So you see, many people expect to be invited and may even say they will come…only not to.

I agree that most will understand.

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