(Closed) Can’t make friend’s wedding – How do I gift?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What to get them?
    A card with a check is okay : (24 votes)
    80 %
    Get them something off their registry! : (6 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 3
    157 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @Mrslawyer2bee: I wouldn’t ship them a gift…it would be a bit much especially with shipment I think. I think sending them a cheque or cash in a card is good enough! I would say send it a month before the wedding. I’ve noticed couples love getting their gifts ASAP so they can set up everything.

    Best of luck.

    Post # 4
    46 posts
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I’m not certain, but if you do not attend the wedding you do not have to give a gift.  However it would be a really nice gesture for you to do that!  My fiance and I were invited to his groomsmens wedding last June and couldn’t make it, but decided to buy a gift for them anyway, because we really liked them.  The registry is very simple.  All you have to do is go on the site of their registry, find their list of items and choose something off of it.  The item will ship to their house and you can just leave a note on the gift.  It’s really the thought that counts.  So if you are worried about $ you can probably find something of reasonable value on the registry.

    Post # 5
    2854 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Either a card with a check, or something off the registry mailed to them – this info should be included, or at least listed as an option with checkout, as the couple should have provided their address. I guess it depends on the store.

    You won’t seem rude. They’ll be really grateful that you thought of them.

    ETA: never feel bad about giving a check vs. a honeymoon registry. $ registries deduct a percentage (7.5%+) for their services. When you give a check, 100% of your gift is going to them, not 92.5%.

    Post # 6
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    A card with a check is just fine! 

    Post # 7
    13096 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I’d get something off the registry but I am also never a fan of gifting cash.  Too impersonal, IMO.

    Many stores that people commonly register at do free shipping so you could likely ship it directly to them for no additional expense!

    Post # 8
    254 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    The online registry’s are super easy. You just go to the website and search for the registry (usu on top of the website). Then you pick out the gift and add it to your cart like you would ording anything online. Then it is automatically shipped to their address. 


    If you can’t figure that out, I would just send a card with a check about 1 month before the wedding. 

    Post # 9
    126 posts
    Blushing bee

    I agree, have it shipped directly to them from the online registry.  That way you don’t have to pay double shipping, and it is way more personable than cash!

    Good luck!

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