(Closed) Can’t make it to shower… still send a gift?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes. I presume you have purchased it already. Can you get anoother guest to stop by and pick it up?

Post # 5
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@KristenGotMarried: I had a similar situation. FI’s coworkers shower is tomorrow and I can’t make it. I went on bed bath and beyond’s website, picked a gift she wanted, and shipped it to her house. I put in a note that said something like “So sorry I was unable to attend your shower! I hope it will be wonderful!”

I don’t think it’s an obligation but I think etiquette says that it is preferred if you send a gift even if you can’t make it

Post # 6
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

I’ve never sent a gift to a shower I didn’t attend. Not sure if you’re supposed to. 🙂 (I would send a wedding gift even if I couldn’t attend in most cases.)

Post # 7
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@KristenGotMarried: I would say send a gift. For all of the showers I’ve been invited to and couldn’t make it, I sent a gift to let the bride and/or groom to let them know that I was thinking of them. Even if it is something fairly inexpensive I think it’s a nice gesture!

Post # 8
Member
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

ok-that’s clearer. Yes, I still send a gift. I would want to wish my friend well even if I couldn’t make it.

Post # 9
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

in my mind, totally optional.  i think it would be very sweet of you to send one, but it isn’t the end of the world if you can’t.

Post # 10
Member
674 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

How close are you to the bride?

Post # 12
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I wasnt able to attend my friends Shower, but I sent her a present ahead of time.

I think its a thoughtful thing to do 🙂

Post # 13
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  For me, it all depends on the person. I wasn’t able to make my FSIL’s wedding shower, so I sent a gift with my Future Mother-In-Law. I was a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding and I couldn’t make her shower (it was 4 hours away), so I sent a gift to that one, too.

Post # 14
Member
1559 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It depends how close I am to the bride.

In some cases, I will bow out of a bridal shower (or baby shower) for someone I am not close to if I don’t have the money to buy them a gift at the time. I think it’s rude to come without a gift, so if I’m not close to them, and I don’t have money for a gift, I just don’t go.  

However, if I am close to the bride, I would most likely be there, and if I wasn’t, I would certainly send a gift.

The topic ‘Can’t make it to shower… still send a gift?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors