Post # 1
I recently moved from PA to CA and my girlfriend is having her bachelorette in southern FL. I spoke with her and mentioned which she would prefer me to go to between the shower and the bachelorette party and she would prefer me to come to the bachelorette party. After looking into flights it would take me 10+ hours of travel to FL and a much easier flight to fly back to PA. I feel terrible and I wish I could do both but it appears to be more feasible to do the shower, especially with the lack of vacation time I have with work as well. Any advice how to break this news to her would be great, thanks!
Post # 2
Well, asking her to choose was probably a mistake before you even looked into the logistics of it. Just be honest and express your remorse that you can’t make it work. “Friend, after looking into flights and the amount of vacation time I would need to take, I just can’t make the bachelorette party work. I’m really sorry about that and wish I could be there for everything. However, I can make the shower and I’m really looking forward to that.”
Honestly, I would never expect anyone, even if they are part of the wedding, to travel for a shower (or even a bachelorette, but I’m not big on the destination, multi-day bachelorette thing anyway). But if it’s important to both of you, then try to make one of those two things work and keep the focus on what you can participate in.
Post # 3
Just be straight up and tell her you won’t be able to make the bach party due to vacation hours. If she is a good friend she will be completely understanding. I honestly wouldn’t travel that far for anyone’s shower or bach party even if I was in the wedding.