(Closed) Can’t seem to get my MOH excited and proactive

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think that is a great idea. Maybe she doesn’t know the actual duties since she’s never done it before.

Post # 4
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

That idea is fantastic, you should totally do that. Maybe she just doesn’t know what she should do/is normally done.

I’m having a similar issue. Don’t get me wrong, my Maid/Matron of Honor is great. She offered to throw me a bachelorette party a day or two before the wedding. The problem is that she lives so far away from me that she can’t really help with anything else. I’ve been doing dress shopping and other stuff with my other bridesmaid. I would so very much love to have a bridal shower, but unless my sister or my fiance’s mother decide to throw one for me it won’t be happening… That makes me kind of sad.

Post # 5
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@kaelibailey: off topic.. is your name Kailey Bailey?


Cause thats my name 🙂 well, just Kailey, not baily, haha.

Post # 6
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think the gift idea is awesome, or plan a day with just the two of you and tell her all the things you are excited for her to do. And ask if she has any ideas yet about the bridal shower, bachelorette party, bridesmaid dresses… Tell her you can’t wait to hear what she’s been thinking about.

Also keep in mind, she may be a little sad that she’s not the one getting married. Or she may feel that she’s loosing you in a way, that someone else is going to be there for you rather than her. Yes, i know that is a bit selfish, but most girls go through that feeling at some point. I have no doubt that she is happy for you and excited to see you happy but deep down inside it may be making her a little depressed. Just re-assure her how important she is to you and what a big part of the wedding she is. That you need her help and love and excitement.


Post # 7
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  It sounds like you two have a lot of history! I like the idea of the gift bag. I also like the idea of going out to lunch/dinner and just talking. You also know your best friend the best. Is she someone that would respond well to receiving a book? Would she be one that would read it? Or would it be better to say something to the effect of, “I know that this is your first time being in a wedding, do you have any questions about anything?”

  You can also start bringing up what you’re planning. You can ask her about bridesmaid dresses, favors, etc., and maybe that will get her talking about things.

  I’m a firm believer in that it’s all about how you say something :-). I have one friend that just wants to bluntly know what’s going on and what’s expected of them. I have another friend that wouldn’t respond well if I took that route.

  Finally, I can also say that I understand the Maid/Matron of Honor thing. My sister is going to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. She is being a Maid/Matron of Honor in her friend’s wedding this October. The friend and I were talking, and we both know how my sister is. She isn’t the one who is going to be on top of planning showers and things, but she will be there for you and she is wanting to make things as easy on you as possible. Plus, it now makes it harder, because she just moved across the country. However, I couldn’t imagine anybody else being my MOH–just like I’m sure you feel about your best friend :-).

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