Post # 1
I’ve asked my best friend of 16 years to be my MOH; she’s the pretty much my “sister from another mister,” but unfortunately, she’s never done this before. It hasn’t occurred to me until now that she’s not the most proactive person (never really the one to throw parties — that was always me!). As a young and inexperienced bride, I’m finding I need that proactive female co-pilot to get this shindig on the road. Her lack of initiative is starting to worry me: she hasn’t reached out to folks regarding the customary bridal party festivities and my wedding is coming up.
I do have realistic expectations here. I don’t expect her to all out plan MY wedding, but she knows that when I’m her Maid/Matron of Honor, I will be leading the charge to make sure she isn’t stressed that I’m doing all I can to make this a fun and sentimental experience. My mother is being a handful, and I could really use the extra support right now, especially from a woman’s perspective. Call me a Bridezilla if you must, but I think that these duties fall into the realm of the Maid/Matron of Honor. It is an “honorable” title, after all.
I’m thinking of getting her a cute “MOH” tote with some goodies (nail salon or massage gift certificate) and maybe a guidebook inside to try to get her excited. Any other ideas for how I can delicately let my Maid/Matron of Honor know that her help is not only appreciated, but needed?
Post # 3
I think that is a great idea. Maybe she doesn’t know the actual duties since she’s never done it before.
Post # 4
That idea is fantastic, you should totally do that. Maybe she just doesn’t know what she should do/is normally done.
I’m having a similar issue. Don’t get me wrong, my Maid/Matron of Honor is great. She offered to throw me a bachelorette party a day or two before the wedding. The problem is that she lives so far away from me that she can’t really help with anything else. I’ve been doing dress shopping and other stuff with my other bridesmaid. I would so very much love to have a bridal shower, but unless my sister or my fiance’s mother decide to throw one for me it won’t be happening… That makes me kind of sad.
Post # 5
@kaelibailey: off topic.. is your name Kailey Bailey?
Cause thats my name 🙂 well, just Kailey, not baily, haha.
Post # 6
I think the gift idea is awesome, or plan a day with just the two of you and tell her all the things you are excited for her to do. And ask if she has any ideas yet about the bridal shower, bachelorette party, bridesmaid dresses… Tell her you can’t wait to hear what she’s been thinking about.
Also keep in mind, she may be a little sad that she’s not the one getting married. Or she may feel that she’s loosing you in a way, that someone else is going to be there for you rather than her. Yes, i know that is a bit selfish, but most girls go through that feeling at some point. I have no doubt that she is happy for you and excited to see you happy but deep down inside it may be making her a little depressed. Just re-assure her how important she is to you and what a big part of the wedding she is. That you need her help and love and excitement.
Post # 7
It sounds like you two have a lot of history! I like the idea of the gift bag. I also like the idea of going out to lunch/dinner and just talking. You also know your best friend the best. Is she someone that would respond well to receiving a book? Would she be one that would read it? Or would it be better to say something to the effect of, “I know that this is your first time being in a wedding, do you have any questions about anything?”
You can also start bringing up what you’re planning. You can ask her about bridesmaid dresses, favors, etc., and maybe that will get her talking about things.
I’m a firm believer in that it’s all about how you say something :-). I have one friend that just wants to bluntly know what’s going on and what’s expected of them. I have another friend that wouldn’t respond well if I took that route.
Finally, I can also say that I understand the Maid/Matron of Honor thing. My sister is going to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. She is being a Maid/Matron of Honor in her friend’s wedding this October. The friend and I were talking, and we both know how my sister is. She isn’t the one who is going to be on top of planning showers and things, but she will be there for you and she is wanting to make things as easy on you as possible. Plus, it now makes it harder, because she just moved across the country. However, I couldn’t imagine anybody else being my MOH–just like I’m sure you feel about your best friend :-).