Post # 1
We got engaged in March! I love my fiancé and the ring, so all is good there. We know we want low key. Court house on a Friday and then rent a room in a restaurant for our friends and family join us in celebration.
The issue has been in setting a date. My only request is that it be warm. I hate cold and don’t want my anniversary to be a day with goosebumps.
I have thrown out September, he said why am I in a hurry. and he said he would like April 2nd as that is the anniversary of our 1st date. Which falls on a Tuesday next year. The next time it is a Friday is in 2021 which will be Good Friday. I wouldn’t care but half the guests are catholic and won’t eat meat on Good Friday. I have food allergies, and fish will not be served at my wedding. I just want my day to be a special day that I am not ill because of food.
He won’t really talk about alternative dates. I have been going over menu choices and costs at a few restaurants. I asked him how many guests he expects and he said he was not inviting his family. Great, so my entire family is 14 people, including my kids. I have maybe 2 friends. So we have barely 20 people.
I don’t mind doing all the work as that is the story of my life. But give me something to work with… a date he can live with that is reasonably soon and not 3 years away. A few names of people that he would like to have share our day…
Should I just stop attempting to plan until he is ready to participate or just move right along and just plan a random day and say here it is, be here at x time?
Post # 2
Only you can know if he would accept an alternative wedding date. Also, you can’t force him to give you a guest list. Honestly. I gave dh and his family a deadline for the guestlist and stuck to it. I’m sure your wedding will be awesome no matter what happens. TBH, I think even a tuesday wedding next year would be lovely.
Post # 3
anabolina : Do you think people would actually come on a Tuesday? It would be a school night.
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2019 - Tacoma, WA
Can you get married at the courthouse on your anniversary even if it isn’t on a Friday, with a celebration the following weekend? If it’s just you two at the courthouse, then getting married on a week day might not be too much trouble, and that way you don’t have to wait forever and your fiance gets what he wants (getting married on your anniversary) as well. Just a thought!
Post # 5
somedaymrsj : I have it in my head to get married in the courthouse with a cute little dress and a pretty flower bouquet, then walk into the restaurant following the ceremony.
Having it a few days later seems out of sorts in my head. Like why would I put on a wedding dress if that was not the day I got married.
Post # 6
Is there any reason you can’t do a Tuesday? It sounds like you just want to do a dinner reception and your guests are local so no travel involved. They can come for dinner after work.
Why can’t you have another day? I understand the desire to have your anniversaries the same, but in the grand scheme of things its not important. Our dating anniversary is May, but we married in July. We don’t really celebrate the dating anniversary anymore as the wedding one is more important.
Post # 7
I think if you realyl want to celebrate with family on the same day, you’ll need to sit down and talk to your fiance about alternate dates. Yes ti would be nice to keep the same anniversary, but hwy not try just keeping the 2nd but in another month?
You said you wanted it to be nice weather, how about May 2nd 2019? It is a Thursday and if you are having a small wedding, it is nto unreasonable to ask people to come out to dinner. Close family will probably be willign to take the friday off even! Or if you want super nice weather, how many June 2 2019? It’s a sunday and will be lovely warm weather. It also gives you loads of time to plan!
Otherwise I would go with August or September of this year, if you can get fiance on board with the shorter timeframe!
Post # 8
A friend did exactly what you described, but on a long weekend. Short ceremony, then we all went to their favorite restaurant on a Thursday night of memorial weekend, had a dinner party atmosphere with different courses and wine pairings, and a total of maybe 50 people. It was the best. Like seriously my fav wedding ever because they had many less guests so it was way more personalized, had wonderful food, and just a fun big dinner party atmosphere.
Post # 9
Since you’re having a low key dinner with under 20 people, I see no problem with Tuesday night! I attend restaurant birthday dinners on weeknights often (that’s what my FI’s family does) so this wouldn’t bother me at all.
Post # 10
penny1403 : As far as the date goes, that’s something that you’ll need to talk to fiance about. It seems a bit unreasonable for him to insist that you get married on a Friday that lands on APril 2nd, IMO.
If he doesn’t want to invite anyone, he doesn’t have to. It sounds like your plan is to keep it low key and intimtate, and with 20 people that’s exactly what it will be.
I’m getting married at the courthouse in August with 14 guests, we’re taking them to dinner afterward. We’ll celebrate with our other friends and family the following day, I may even get two wedding dresses. You can do whatever you want, it’s your wedding! Get married, Tuesday, celebrate on the weekend, whatever works!
Post # 11
penny1403 : Ask him if its really that big of a deal to do it on the friday after your anniversary? April 5th? Its a friday and pretty close to a special date.
But if your guests are local, it probably isnt a huge deal to do it on a Tuesday – might be easier to reserve room at a restaurant.
And my Darling Husband never really gave me a list. I came up with a list of who i thought he would want there and kind of went off of that. When it got closer to actually sending out invites then i went over it with him and took off/added some people. but he was never going to sit there and write them all down lol
Post # 12
Well, first I’d pump the breaks on planning menus etc until you two are on the same page a bit more.
You could marry at the court house on a Tuesday and celebrate with Family that weekend, I understand wanting to go from courthouse to resturuant in your dress, hair makeup etc, there is NOTHING wrong with putting that dress back on during the weekend! Most wedding dresses don’t get more than one use anyway, this would put you way ahead on that aspect!
Or if you are dead set on doing it all in one day, maybe a compromise would be in order?
Does he have any friends he’d like to invite in place of family, someone who might be important to him? Why does he not want to invite anyone?
Take baby steps. Maybe he is just overwhelmed.
Post # 13
How many people are travelling to your wedding? You say 20 in total, but if everyone is local or has flexible schedules, a tuesday evening isn’t that big of a deal. I certainly wouldn’t wait 3 years just to have it be on a friday!
Post # 14
L606 : I would just come up with a list but his family situation is different than mine. His family is not close at all. His mom will go months without even talking to him and she lives close. I think he last saw her 6 months ago.
Meanwhile I see my family all the time. Like multiple times a week. They would have no problem with a Tuesday evening. It was more of the few friends with kids I was concerned about.
Post # 15
arriaza415 : I am only doing it one day. I compromised with making it a cheap courthouse wedding. I do want certain things like flowers, table decorations, dinner, drinks and wedding cake.