Can’t set a date…and really don’t have many guests

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
1727 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Only you can know if he would accept an alternative wedding date.  Also,  you can’t force him to give you a guest list.  Honestly.  I gave dh and his family a deadline for the guestlist and stuck to it. I’m sure your wedding will be awesome no matter what happens. TBH,  I think even a tuesday wedding next year would be lovely.  

Post # 4
Member
832 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Tacoma, WA

Can you get married at the courthouse on your anniversary even if it isn’t on a Friday, with a celebration the following weekend? If it’s just you two at the courthouse, then getting married on a week day might not be too much trouble, and that way you don’t have to wait forever and your fiance gets what he wants (getting married on your anniversary) as well. Just a thought!

Post # 6
Member
3015 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Is there any reason you can’t do a Tuesday? It sounds like you just want to do a dinner reception and your guests are local so no travel involved. They can come for dinner after work.

Why can’t you have another day? I understand the desire to have your anniversaries the same, but in the grand scheme of things its not important. Our dating anniversary is May, but we married in July. We don’t really celebrate the dating anniversary anymore as the wedding one is more important.

Post # 7
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I think if you realyl want to celebrate with family on the same day, you’ll need to sit down and talk to your fiance about alternate dates. Yes ti would be nice to keep the same anniversary, but hwy not try just keeping the 2nd but in another month?

You said you wanted it to be nice weather, how about May 2nd 2019? It is a Thursday and if you are having a small wedding, it is nto unreasonable to ask people to come out to dinner. Close family will probably be willign to take the friday off even! Or if you want super nice weather, how many June 2 2019? It’s a sunday and will be lovely warm weather. It also gives you loads of time to plan!

Otherwise I would go with August or September of this year, if you can get fiance on board with the shorter timeframe!

Post # 8
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

A friend did exactly what you described, but on a long weekend. Short ceremony, then we all went to their favorite restaurant on a Thursday night of memorial weekend, had a dinner party atmosphere with different courses and wine pairings, and a total of maybe 50 people. It was the best. Like seriously my fav wedding ever because they had many less guests so it was way more personalized, had wonderful food, and just a fun big dinner party atmosphere.

Post # 9
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Since you’re having a low key dinner with under 20 people, I see no problem with Tuesday night! I attend restaurant birthday dinners on weeknights often (that’s what my FI’s family does) so this wouldn’t bother me at all.

Post # 10
Member
2823 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

penny1403 :  As far as the date goes, that’s something that you’ll need to talk to fiance about. It seems a bit unreasonable for him to insist that you get married on a Friday that lands on APril 2nd, IMO. 

If he doesn’t want to invite anyone, he doesn’t have to. It sounds like your plan is to keep it low key and intimtate, and with 20 people that’s exactly what it will be. 

I’m getting married at the courthouse in August with 14 guests, we’re taking them to dinner afterward. We’ll celebrate with our other friends and family the following day, I may even get two wedding dresses. You can do whatever you want, it’s your wedding! Get married, Tuesday, celebrate on the weekend, whatever works! 

Post # 11
Member
3075 posts
Sugar bee

penny1403 :  Ask him if its really that big of a deal to do it on the friday after your anniversary? April 5th? Its a friday and pretty close to a special date.

But if your guests are local, it probably isnt a huge deal to do it on a Tuesday – might be easier to reserve room at a restaurant.

And my Darling Husband never really gave me a list. I came up with a list of who i thought he would want there and kind of went off of that. When it got closer to actually sending out invites then i went over it with him and took off/added some people. but he was never going to sit there and write them all down lol 

Post # 12
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Well, first I’d pump the breaks on planning menus etc until you two are on the same page a bit more. 

You could marry at the court house on a Tuesday and celebrate with Family that weekend, I understand wanting to go from courthouse to resturuant in your dress, hair makeup etc, there is NOTHING wrong with putting that dress back on during the weekend! Most wedding dresses don’t get more than one use anyway, this would put you way ahead on that aspect!

Or if you are dead set on doing it all in one day, maybe a compromise would be in order? 

Does he have any friends he’d like to invite in place of family, someone who might be important to him? Why does he not want to invite anyone? 

Take baby steps. Maybe he is just overwhelmed. 

Post # 13
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper

How many people are travelling to your wedding? You say 20 in total, but if everyone is local or has flexible schedules, a tuesday evening isn’t that big of a deal. I certainly wouldn’t wait 3 years just to have it be on a friday! 

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