(Closed) Cant stand my best friend a little more everyday…..

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

It seems like she is jealous of you and making bad choices based on that. Clearly she has tried to meet guys for what sounds like a long time, but hasn’t had success with finding the right one. I think most people tend to get excited about weddings and babies without thinking whether it’s a good long-term choice for the woman or not. Especially on Facebook – if they had anything negative to say they probably wouldn’t say it publicly on a social networking site! 

I can completely see your frustration, but I don’t know if I have great advice. You seem to be frustrated with this girl and not inclined to put in a lot of effort to make her “see the light.” Even if you did, I’m not sure that you could change her mind. Maybe distancing yourself is the best thing you can do. 

Post # 4
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

First of all, I completely agree that a baby is not a good reason to get married. Since she has made up her mind, though, there isn’t much you can do about it. My BFF got pregnant after 5 months of knowing a guy, and I told her off the bat that I didn’t think it was a good idea for them to get married. You know what, though? They did get married, and my choice was to either support her or lose her as a friend. Just because I didn’t agree with her decision doesn’t mean I didn’t support her as a person. I put my two cents in, and she did what she wanted.

Your friend will do what she wants, and since she’s already made the decision to get married and have a baby, then I think your only option is to support her. If you’ve totally drifted apart, then you don’t need to go out of your way for her, but she’s going to follow through on her decision, so your options are to support her or not really be friends anymore.

Trust me, I know how much it sucks, I really do. But the best thing you can do is support your friend and vent your frustrations elsewhere. Like here. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Sorry to hear your going through this at what should be such a happy time for you. It seems like she is wrapped up in herself and doesn’t know how to be happy for someone else. I think all you can do is wish her well. I don’t think you necessarily have to be by her side supporting her (its not as if she did that for you) you should really just take a back seat to this girl and let someone else deal with her drama!

Post # 6
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I third the idea that a baby is not a good enough reason to get MARRIED.  But I also think that people are entitled to making their own life decisions.  You can express concern but ultimately just be there for her.  Two wrongs don’t make a right, you know?  Although I don’t think she’s making these decisions just based on you, I do agree w/ Girlwitharing that people won’t usually say anything too mean on facebook.  Maybe they just want a wedding invite, lol.  In any case you have every right to be frustrated.  Some marriages are okay at less than a year, but add the baby as the reason for getting married and it makes it even harder.. 🙁 

Post # 7
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Hopefully your friend will appreciate you even more after the baby gets here, and she might feel like a jerk for not being there for you…although I wanted to say that a lot of times when people haven’t gone through something themselves, they don’t really know how to support others in those same events and that could be why… Good luck!

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