(Closed) Can't stand my FMIL sometimes

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2604 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@abeeneedstovent:  I agree that you need not explain or justify your expenditures to you in-laws. As long as you’re not asking them for money, you don’t need their permission or approval.

That said, I think you’re being a bit hard on them. Parents often urge frugality and drop baby hints. As long as they are not actively trying to interfere, I’d just let those type things just roll off your back. It’s just not worth getting upset over. It seems they mean well, and to me that counts for a lot.

Post # 5
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My in-laws are pretty much the same – they “give advice” and I know it’s well-meaning, but the way they say it and the frequency with which they give it makes it more like lecturing than anything else. I’ve heard so many times how we should spend our money; that we shouldn’t renovate our house; where we should go on holidays (the same places they like to go, oddly enough!); how we should structure/pay off our mortgage…it never ends! Keep in mind this is entirely unsolicited advice – we tell them very little about our plans or circumstances (they don’t know our mortgage details, whether we’re planning on renovating, etc.) but they feel the need to give us the “benefit” of their bounteous knowledge anyway!

Now it wouldn’t be that big an issue if they presented their opinions nicely, as if we were adults on an equal footing with them (i.e. the way my parents speak to us). With the in-laws, it usually comes across as aggressive and patronising, rather than polite or respectful.

And don’t even get me started on baby hints!!

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