(Closed) can’t stop bfing! HELP! (kind of long)

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@maylove13:  The main thing to do is to relax, breathe, and remember that you are the parent, and you are in control. If you let her control you, she will win, and you will not meet your ultimate goal of weaning. 

Can it help to slowly reduce the feedings, without going cold turkey? Does she have a schedule she adheres to? Maybe use a pump into a bottle or a sippy cup, and alternate boob with bottle / cup. You could also try sleeping with her in her room, so she gets used to the atmosphere, and bf there those nights, but gradually sit with her and give her a cup or bottle to go down with. Plenty of kids go to sleep with a bottle. Do not feel guilty about that.  Hopefully easing her out of it isn’t too traumatizing. But remember, when her temper flares, you must stay in control, and teach her that her behavior does not get rewarded with boob. 

Post # 5
33 posts
  • Wedding: December 2012

First I want to commend you for what you have done to give your daughter such a healthy foundation, physically and emotionally! You deserve a lot of credit for the sacrifices you are making for her!

I have to disagree with JulesSchnooks comment. Your daughter is not trying to control you or misbehaving by being upset when you suddenly refuse her her familiar source of comfort and food. Breastfeeding for her is an extremely comforting, relaxing, secure routine. Suddenly trying to stop it is shaking up her little world!

I would recommend holding off on the weaning for a few days until you and your daughter can both calm down about it. It sounds like it has been pretty traumatic for both of you so far! I wouldn’t make any big changes (like sleeping arrangements), but just let things settle. Then, when you are back into a routine, start to wean her VERY slowly. Don’t rush it; kids have just as hard a time with sudden drastic change as we adults do! Start replacing one feeding a day with a snack or other distraction, and build up from there. Don’t tell her you are weaning her or that she can’t nurse, just shift her focus. It will take her a while to adjust, and will probably take the better part of a month to get her mostly weaned. But it will be so much easier on the both of you; trust me! And I wouldn’t change sleeping arrangments and wean simultaneously–that is a LOT of changes for such a little thing, and for Mommy too!

Hugs, and best of luck to you! You’re doing a great job!


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