(Closed) Can’t stop crying.

posted 7 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Has your gyn told you you need a LEEP? Don’t worry about what the future holds – just focus on the positive news your gyn has given you so far.

I’m currently in between ultrasounds to determine whether I need to have an ovarian cyst removed. It’s not the same thing, but I understand the waiting and uncertainty. Hang in there.

Post # 4
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

I think that you should listen to your Doc: it is very mild and you don’t have anything bad enough to remove or cause problems. 

I don’t have HPV and got gardasil, but my cousin had HPV and had some procedures done when she was 18, and they said that she would “never” be able to get pregnant. 

She had a baby at 19. 

So: stop worrying!  If you re read your post, its all about anxiety.  Not factual medical concerns from your Doctor. 

So, relax, stay healthy, maybe look into some nutritional type stuff (I’ve had friends that have used homeopathic treatments for HPV – don’t know much about it though), and try to not obsess. 

Post # 5
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m 25. When I was 19 I got my first abnormal pap. I did 6 month paps until my doctor told me he wanted to do laser surgery. After the surgery I had paps every 3 months for the first year, then every 6 months after that. Well it came back. No surprise there. I’m getting paps every 6 months because its still mild, but I am also afraid that if I have another procedure done… it will affect carrying a baby. 

My advice to you is to take a BIG deep breath and relax. HPV is so common. In fact I am in PA school right now. I did a clinical rotation with an OBGYN doctor… SHE HAD IT. AND SHE HAD A LEEP… AND SHE HAD TWO BABIES AFTERWARDS! 

Keep yourself healthy. Get lots of sleep, eat healthy, exercise. And relax. There are things in life that are WAY WORSE. Enjoy the prewedding excitement. Love your hubby. Focus on something else besides HPV! 



Post # 6
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Oh honey — I promise it’s going to be ok!! I had HPV about 4 years ago, and I had to have a LEEP and after that I had 6 month checkups for a year and then I was given a clean bill of health. I’ve had completely normal PAPs since then and have been given the green light to TTC after our July wedding. I think that you’re anxiety is making this much much worse for you. I promise you will get through this and it won’t have any long-term affects on your life!

Maybe you should talk to your doctor about the anxiety and perhaps see if there are alternative therapies you can try to control your anxiety and help you feel calmer about this. Hang in there girlie, this does get better and we’re here for you!

Post # 7
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’ve been having smears for years and in 2008 I got an abnormal one back from a routine. It freaked the hell out of me and I spent a month from the result letter to the treatment (I had a LEEP done) in a constant state of emotional stress over it, so I can totally relate and I’m very sorry you a going through this.

I had the same fears and worries as you about my health and about if I could have children etc and it didn’t really matter what anyone said because they couldn’t be sure if it would affect my chances of having children or if it would come back. Well I moved on an had 6 monthly smears for a few years and back in July last year I had another abnormal smear. Ugh. The day I got the letter I had a rush of all those horrible feelings come back and worse still they wanted to use a “wait and see” approach, ie monitor it in 6 months and then decide if I need to have a colcoscopy- so I basically had to sit with this thing in the back of my mind for half a year.

Well the December smear was also abnormal and I went to the clinic, I couldn’t eat or sleep properly, and I did the stupid thing and googled the hell out of it which didn’t make me feel better and I started convincing myself I was dying. It was crazy.

The long and the short of it is that the results came back as CIN1 and the said with such low grade abnormality they are happy to leave it for 6 months and go from there. The relief was immence. I know that I can’t prevent the abnormality but I feel comfortable in the knowledge that it can be dealt with way before it becomes life threatening. I’m ok with dealing with on an as it comes situation while I spend the next few years getting hitched and pregnant, after that I consider that I might opt for hystorectomy for longer term peace of mind.

So what you are feeling is totally normal but I encourage you to be vocal to your SO and those around you about how you are feeling, no matter how sill you may think you sound. Talking really helps. The other things I found made me feel better is when I voiced my concerns to the consultant who treated me the first time around he was great. He told me this:

1) Cervical cancer takes years to develop. The fact is, those who have regular smears are group of women LEAST likely to ever get CC because they are being checked. Of those who do have CC the sucess rate for treatment in those previously screened is 95% because of this same point.

2) It takes 3 courses of LEEP treatment (which isn’t as horrifying as it sounds btw) before you could have issues carrying a baby to term. The reason there is a link between abnormal smears and cervical incompetence is based on the older treatment that used to be carried out (cone biopsy) which took away alot more of the cervix. – and  if you do end up having cervial issues with a baby you carry the can put a stitch in the cervix to keep it closed.

Like I said I completely and utterly sypathise with you, feel free to IM me if you want to chat about it or just ask more questions. Drs are HOT to treat this where need be because they know its such a preventable cancer, so if your doctor is saying they don’t need to treat it at the moment then take that to heart and know they wouldn’t let you go on as normal if they had any concern about your life.

I decide that since HPV is a viral/immune system issue it wouldn’t hurt to get fitter, healthier (so I joined a gym and eat well) there is limited research on links between the diet and HPV but I think it makes sense that keeping your immune system happy then it’s going to keep your body happy to.

The best thing you can do is keep going for the check ups when called, ask for advice and like the prevous poster said is enjoy this exciting time in the run up to your wedding, please don’t let your state of mind over this overshadow such a precious time in your life.


Post # 8
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oh honey, this is SO not a big deal. I was in a similar situation. I had abnormal paps for several years and 3 (!!) colps. Unpleasant, but that’s ALL it was. Eventually, after several years, it cleared up and my last two paps have been normal.


Post # 9
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

My sister had a LEEP and carried 2 babies to term.  Don’t stress yourself out too much hun!

Post # 10
3000 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Don’t stress out – it will be FINE!

I had found out I had HPV (one of the few high-risk strains) two years ago. I had several colposcopies and ended up needing the LEEP since I had level 3 dysplasia. I have paps every six months and nothing has come back so they’ve all been normal. I asked my doctor about every question possible (and I trust his answers since he is the head of OB/GYN at the hospital) and he told me I will have NO problems TTC and that as long as the doctors/nurses know I’ve had a LEEP in the past, I won’t have any surprises about pre-term labor. As PPs stated, you can have a tiny stitch put in to ensure your cervix is strong enough, even though most women don’t have to do this.

Post # 11
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I was diagnosed with HPV in college, and recently had the HPV DNA test, which informed me that the strain of HPV that I have is one of the two that causes cervical cancer. I thankfully have had normal paps for the last two years, and get them about every 6 months. The last abnoramal pap that I had was probably two years ago, and I would say that I get an abnormal pap about every 1 1/2-2 years, always followed up with normal ones.

I am currently preganant with my first child.

If your doctor is reassuring you, I would try as hard as you can to ease your own mind. My doctor told me that actually giving birth can help with women who have HPV, because it sloughs off cells.

Keep monitoring it as you have been with the paps every 6 months, and trust your doctor. I’m sure she would not be giving you false hope.

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