Post # 1
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
We have a trip to montreal coming up. He’s coming for the visa interview, and we’ll also get to visit a bit and explore the romantic city. I’m excited, nervous, and looking forward to it since its been 6 months since I’ve seen BF and I miss his hugs and kisses and smile and everything. I also am 80% sure he will propose. To my knowledge, he has a ring and he and I have planned out the trip fairly well.
On the phone I tell him how excited I am to see him and he says “I just can’t wait for all of this to be over!”. I worry that he never wanted to come visit and now is forced to and he doesn’t want to deal with the vacation. There is a chance he means the visa process so I can go home to him…
I did respond with “What do you mean all of this? Are you not excited to visit montreal with me?” and he says “Yeah I just mean.. all of it. I can’t wait for this to be over already”.
He says goodnight and goes to bed and I can’t stop thinking about it. I told him not to visit before, I didn’t need him for the interview and I already feared he didn’t want to visit. He insisted, said it would help. Now I am worried he doesn’t want to visit montreal and deal with the travel.. or even propose.
Post # 2
Member
266 posts
Helper bee
Does he mean he is over the visa process and living apart and not seeing each other for lengthy periods? That makes sense to me 🙂
Post # 3
Member
2966 posts
Sugar bee
I wouldn’t have taken that nearly as negatively as you did. What I got from his statement was ‘I can’t wait until we don’t have to deal with long distance’ or ‘I can’t wait until this process is done and we can be together all the time’
Post # 4
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
I think he means the visa and being in a LDR. The way it was said it sounds like a means to an end…albeit a happy ending 🙂
Sounds like someone isn’t going to be waiting much longer 😄😄😄
Post # 5
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
MrsWhitneyC2015: k0rtnei: Rubyrain88: unfortunately, my bf is terrified of flying in planes and gets very anxious when he visits, he isn’t himself and keeps worrying about the plane ride. he had a terrible time visiting in edmonton, our last visit in canada. It was because of this I told him he didn’t have to visit me. I fear he is doing this to prove that he can… but don’t think he genuinely wants to. I wouldn’t hold it against him and he knows that. I rather he not visit than be miserable the whole time… him saying he wants all of this to be over already makes me worry that he truly is miserable with his phobia.
Post # 6
Member
749 posts
Busy bee
Pretty sure he meant the visa business so that the long distance and the not seeing you would be over…
Post # 7
Member
2729 posts
Sugar bee
if he has anxiety about flying (totally get it — I do too) then why are you taking it personally? He doesn’t like travelling and he’s probably ‘over’ the visa business too. Or maybe he’s worried about proposing. You know this is just how he is so don’t get so worked up over it.
Post # 8
Member
4226 posts
Honey bee
- Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom
I think he meant the whole long distance and Visa thing. I wouldn’t worry too much!
Post # 9
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
elephantear: I think you are just feeling soooo much all at once (which is totally understandable given all you both have going on combined with being separated at the moment) and you are extra sensitive to his every word/action right now.
I really think he was speaking about the distance, the visa process and being apart!
Try to relax and realize you will be seeing eachother soon! 🙂
Post # 10
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
It sounds like he really wants to see you – he just wishes he didn’t have to get on a plane to do it!
Post # 11
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
When my Fiance proposed he said not even an hour later that he was so glad he got that “over with”. It’s a weird way to word it so i understand why you’re feeling weird about it, but maybe he is talking about proposing!
My Fiance said that he was originally going to wait one more day so he could propose at six flags but he had soooo much anxiety over it that he ended up doing it the day before after a nice dinner. He wanted to get it over with so he could just relax and enjoy the rest of our vacation! So maybe he’s worried about the proposal going smoothly and just to be done with that so he can enjoy seeing you!
Post # 12
Member
1999 posts
Buzzing bee
Seems to me like he means the visa process and the long distance.
Post # 13
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
Why would you assume he would be miserable visiting you? You sound very insecure, maybe I’m reading it wrong.
Post # 14
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
When DH and I were long distance we said that to each other many many times. I really think he just meant that he is sick of the long distance and all of the stress that goes with it (visa, travelling, etc). If you’re super concerned, talk to him. You won’t help anything by stewing and working it up in your head.
Post # 15
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
ktsteimel: I’m not insecure. I don’t know why you’d jump to that conclusion from my post. As I said, my bf had a terrible time visiting in edmonton, he was anxious the whole time, couldn’t eat well or sleep well. He has a horrible fear of heights and planes and it takes over him. I worry about it because I love him very much and don’t want him feeling miserable. I worry he is forcing himself to visit.
When you love someone so much, you don’t think about yourself. my thoughts aren’t selfish, i’m only thinking about him and his feelings.. . he wouldn’t in a million years tell me he is stressed or anxious because he takes on those feelings physically rather than emotionally and makes it “his burden to bear”. if its anything like last time, he will become sick with stress and regret spending money to visit.