(Closed) Cards with no Gift included? (for invited guests)

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 32
3682 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You reported the thread to the moderator because you asked for opinions on a situation and didn’t like what you heard?

Post # 33
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’d send a thank you card.

Post # 35
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think some people just don’t know or care about wedding etiquette. I don’t think they were obligated to get you anything other than a card, though usually a token check is nice. I sort of think giving a card with nothing in it is the equivalent of not tipping your waitress. Yeah, you can do… but you probably shouldn’t.

If it makes you feel any better, only one person who was invited but didn’t attend sent us a card. The rest sent nothing at all, including DH’s brother. And even some of the people who did attend did not get us a gift or even an empty card. Kind of hurtful…

Post # 36
1434 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

I don’t know where the idea came from that just because you’re having an event, people owe you a gift. What’s more economical in the case of a wedding would probably be to skip the wedding and buy what you want on your own, because it seems that the average guest at a wedding costs the bride and groom $100. I think it’s just less complicated that way. 

Going into my wedding, I’m not interested in the gifts–unless it’s money. Of course I’m interested in money, but I’m not going ot be upset if there’s no money in card. At age 39, I have learned that no one owes me anything, and even if they do, I’m probably still not going to get it. So lowering expectations is very healthy for you.

I enjoy not expecting gifts. Because then it makes it more fun if I get one, and I’m able to not even care what the gift was, because I wasn’t even expecting it. Because I feel that way, I’d probably consider the card to be the gift.

Please stop expecting gifts. I’m just troubled by the idea “It’s my wedding. Give me a gift.” or “It’s my birthday. where’s my gift?” or “I’m having a baby. Give me a gift.” I just don’t think people deserve to give gifts just because of these things, and I’d hate for my guests to think I invited them just to get their gift. 

Post # 37
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Not exactly the same, but we had no shows for our engagement party.  We sent them cards saying we missed them and we’re so glad that they’re in our lives…but we genuinely felt it.  I guess I wouldn’t send a card to someone I genuinely did not want to thank.

If you do send a card you don’t have to mention this is for the card you sent.  You are thanking them for their thoughts and wishes to you.

Post # 38
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

i dont think it is necessary to send a gift if you don’t attend a wedding. it’s nice they thought of you to get you both a card. for whatever reason they decided to not send a gift, i think you should drop it and move on. 

Post # 39
8 posts

View original reply
@fishbone:  Well said. They are simply congratulating you on being married. I have no idea why you expected money in the card… It is these moments on ‘etiquette’ that cause family drama/relationship breakdowns. Move on!

Post # 40
10849 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

At the request of the OP this thread is closed. 

The topic ‘Cards with no Gift included? (for invited guests)’ is closed to new replies.

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