(Closed) Care package ideas for friend (anniversary of her mother's death)

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

Lily_of_the_valley :  This is such a sweet idea. I love that you’re including her “connection” thing too. My mom passed away and our family has always felt hummingbirds represented her. Both my husband and my sister’s boyfriend had hummingbirds come buzz around their heads “checking them out” when we got serious 🙂 

If you have a picture of them together or any picture of her mom that she may not have seen, that would be awesome. 6 years later, I still get excited when I see a “new” picture of mom or one I haven’t seen in a while. Maybe write a memory of her mom? Or a story you remember her telling about her mom? 

I think candy or tea is also lovely. There are lots of books about loss/mourning that might be appropriate if she’s still in that space. Maybe you could suggest she hang the windchime, sit outside, sip the tea, eat some candy and think about all the great times they shared. 

 

Post # 3
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I think all of your ideas are nice. You know what your friend likes best, so keep it simple and go with that – some tea and her favorite candy, maybe.

Don’t overthink it – the real gift is that you are remembering and acknowledging her loss. As someone who still struggles with losing a parent to cancer I can promise that’s what matters. You’re a good friend.

Post # 4
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

You are a good friend.

I’m currently putting together a care package for my husband so I understand about mail restrictions. I think all your ideas are lovely! The tea or any hot beverage idea is always a sweet way to physically warm up a friend who most understandably may be feeling down.

I second the idea of any old photos you may have of her mom.

Most importantly? I think your words would be greatly appreciated. You already have shown by your actions that you are remembering your friend during her time of loss but since you are far apart, words on paper are a physical reminder that you are there for your friend. While you can’t sit there alongside her, you can let her know she is in your thoughts.

Post # 5
Member
580 posts
Busy bee

My mother used to tell me that whenever she saw a cardinal, she thought her dad was near. I never realized it wasn’t just her own idea, I found some lovely poetry someone had written abotu loved ones who passed and seeing a red caridnal and shared it with her, which she loved.

You’re a very thoughtful person. I think sweet little things with a personal touch are great. I love your idea to include a cardinal. Some tea would be great, it’s very soothing and comforting to hold a warm cup of tea, especially as it gets colder out. Some sweets could be nice as well.

My best friend lost her mother a few years ago. After she passed I got her some books, not mourning related, from a Border’s that was going out of sale. She loves collecting books and reading. I got her a big graphic novel she had talked about getting, and a book about music. Maybe something for mourning/grieving might be too much? Not sure. You could include 2 books, one about that and one with something else she might like. Do you know what authors/genres she likes? Or maybe something her mother read?

I even think some small things like a nice scented candle, some mini hand lotion or something could be nice. They’re little things that help soothe and can be pick me ups. I’m sure she will be comforted to know you are thinking of her and that’s most important. Let her know if she wants to talk, you are there for her. And if not, that’s just as okay.

 

Post # 6
Member
2358 posts
Buzzing bee

THis is very thoughtful of you. 

Don’t over think it as others have said. I would get her fav. candy or some tea. Throw in a small gift card in there. What about a birdfeeder to attract cardinals? (depends on price I know). And how about a good old fashioned letter, or note, perhaps with a cardinal on it from you expressing your feelings.

Post # 7
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee

Chocolate, maybe a favourite tea or coffee?

A blanket, maybe one of those mermaid tail ones if she’s a bit whimsical. 

If you have any photos of her and her mum that she doesn’t have, those would be nice.

A massage voucher?

Post # 8
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

Lily_of_the_valley :  What a thoughtful thing to do. How about a theme. Like bubble bath, a bottle of wine maybe candles too. All of which you can get for pretty cheap. Coffee is a good idea too as mentioned before. You know her best  

Post # 9
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015 - Family Farm

Lily_of_the_valley :  No. Don’t send that. When my father died the last thing I EVER would have wanted was a sappy gift to remind me that my father has been dead for a whole year. 

I know you mean well but if going to be hard enough without one more reminder. If you feel like you must do something go out to dinner grab some margaritas and listen to a band. Make it fun so she can let some of it go if she is so inclined.

But don’t send tea and a poem. 

Post # 10
Member
1703 posts
Bumble bee

Olgarie :  

I too lost my father, and I totally disagree with you….I think this is an incredibly thoughtful idea!

The first year my father was gone, I could have told you down to the minute how long he had been gone…it always made me feel better months later when people would bring him up, or remember me on HIS birthday, the anniversary of his death, etc…it isn’t like the friend FORGOT her mother died…

To the OP – whatever you send will be more than thoughtful and I am sure very much appreciated! 

Post # 11
Member
10031 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

My mom died when I was 12. I honor her on that day by eating mass quantities of junk food and spending more money than I should.

I would include some of her favorite snacks or maybe a happy movie you think she would like. I work very hard to forget that my mother died on that day so I like distractions.

Post # 13
Member
3169 posts
Sugar bee

If you’re looking for something she can do with her children what about some seeds and a little “cherish” pebble or similar they can plant together and watch grow and bloom? Maybe forget me nots? 

Lots of my family has passed, most recently my mum, and I appreciate reminders they mattered and are not forgotten and my friends love me 🙂 

 

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