career mom to stay at home mom…whose been there?

posted 10 months ago in Parenting
Post # 2
7153 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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Kendrao :  Personally, I would start with trying to get a full remote position.  I would have a hard time switching to a Stay-At-Home Mom position, but that’s me.  

Post # 4
759 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Whether or not you would enjoy the switch to stay at home mom is pretty dependant on you really, some people love it and some prefer to work. I haven’t gone the direction you ask, but I did have a longer mat leave (9 months, Canada), and I wasn’t a huge fan of being a stay at home mom during that time (I wouldn’t have wanted to go back sooner, but when I did go back I realized that for now at least being a working mom is definitely for me).

I think if you love your job and do have the opportunity to work remotely, I would at least give that a try. Perhaps part time is an option. It might be fairly isolating to be in a totally new place as a stay at home mom. You may find yourself missing (even remote) adult interaction. Conversely, if you were at home (full or part time) you might have more chances to join moms groups and do kid activities, so it really could go either way. I’d say at least check if the working remote door is open, and go from there! Good luck!

Post # 5
4097 posts
Honey bee

I did this (CO to VA!), and thought I’d try the Stay-At-Home Mom thing. I lasted one summer. It is HARD. My old position was remote, but in Denver so they were not happy with me moving to VA. I ended up finding a part time remote position which allows me a good amount of time with my son, flexibility of being remote, but still getting adult interaction and a paycheck. I would try to keep your job as remote and see how that goes first. There are also so many expenses with moving, you’d be happy to have that extra money initially.

Post # 6
29 posts

Hi Bee!

I got an account just to reply to you. I read your past posts and saw you’re moving to the Camp Hill area. I grew up in Camp Hill and lived there until I was 22. Please let me know what specific questions you have about the area. Feel free to PM me. I LOVED living there and still miss it.

Post # 10
960 posts
Busy bee

If you do the Stay-At-Home Mom mom thing, pay attention to the potential implications to your career in the future. Some fields make it very, very hard to return to work after an extended break (assuming you’d go back when your kids are in school) and that can mean a significant loss in terms of career growth and retirement savings, particularly if getting back into the workforce means taking a lower level job to get a foot back in the door. Some jobs aren’t as bad, but in high paying careers especially, even a few years can be a sizable hurdle so consider building a network, volunteering in your field, etc so that you minimize potential implications. 

Post # 11
1972 posts
Buzzing bee

Some bees discussed their experiences in the thread linked above.  I talked about my experience there.  I would say working remotely can give the impression of being home with your child, but if it’s full time then it’s not much different than being in an office.  Your child still needs to be csred for by someone other than you, I’ve known parents try to skip this but you can’t work and take care of a child at the same time.  Not that you don’t already know that.  The advantages could be no time lost on a commute and, if you don’t have to click in during particular hours, you could do some of your work while your child naps and after they go to bed at night to increase the time you have with them during waking hours.

As for me, I really enjoyed being a sahm full time and ended up wishing I hadn’t worked so many hours when I did go back to work.  Everyone is different.  Some mother’s feel stifled being home with kids.  I loved it because I had full hold of the wheel so to speak of what activities my child would do, setting up play dates, seeing to his Pre-K personally.  I worked in a preschool/daycare before I had kids and oh what a racket that industry is.  I swore I would never put my kids in one and I’m so glad it worked out that I was able to avoid.  But being on one income can be stressful at times, worrying about the risk of job loss.  But when my kids were little it was very common in my area for moms to be sahm full time until the youngest went into school and then mom would go to work full time again.  They just wanted to enjoy their kids while they could.  I really valued and still value looking back, the time I had as a full-time sahm mom with my first.  I wouldn’t trade it for all the job satisfaction or money in the world.  That being said, working part time can be awesome too.  Working full-time is a totally different experience and people tend to figure out quickly which lifestyle they prefer.  Some are happier at home with baby and get stressed out to be pushed into working and not being hands on with baby.  Others hate being home and really prefer to work.  I hope you find the balance that makes you and your family the happiest.

Post # 13
29 posts

Harrisburg can be a bit rough — lol. I don’t think I’d live there, especially with small children. It’s gotten a bit worse over the years, and it was bad enough when I was in high school. We used to play the Harrisburg High School football team, and we always had extra security at those games because so many fights broke out. I mean, like any city, I think it depends where you live in it. I lived close to the New Cumberland end of Camp Hill, and some of my family now lives on the other side, near the Harvey Taylor bridge that takes you from Camp Hill into the city. For young families, I would definitely recommend Camp Hill (of course haha), New Cumberland, and Mechanicsburg. I’d recommend staying in Cumberland County if you can. It’s pretty family friendly, and it’s close enough to be near your husband’s potential work without being too urban or too rural. There’s tons to do there and in the surrounding towns. My cousins all live in the area and have small children, and they’re always posting on FB about someplace or other they discovered and how much the kids love it. There’s something for everyone — wineries, malls, restaurants, apple orchards, children’s play places and discovery centers. It seems like there are more unique places opening around there all the time.

I still live in PA, but I’m west of Camp Hill now and don’t get to visit nearly as often as I’d like. When I do visit, I notice how much more congested it is there than when I was growing up. I’m not sure how much else has changed, but I really, really loved growing up there and would move back in a heartbeat if the opportunity presented itself. Please let me know what other questions you have. I hope I’ve helped even a little!

Oh, and I totally did the career-to-SAHM thing. I know for me, being able to 100% focus on my kids while they were small was right for me. I didn’t miss working at all, TBH. I was a high school teacher before becoming a Stay-At-Home Mom, so no chance of me being remote, but when I did step back into the workforce, I went PT with an online education company that allowed me the flexibiliy I needed at the time. I eventually found my way back to FT when the kids got older, so it can definitely work out well.

Post # 14
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

No insight on the transition to Stay-At-Home Mom, but I do work remote and wanted to weigh in about it. It’s really nice to not have a commute, but I find myself doing more work than I did when I was in the office most of the time. I am usually more productive, so that helps, but if you truly want to be able to do your job well, you’ll need child care, especially if you have meetings. I’ve worked with remote workers who have babies, both with and without extra care, and there is a huge difference in their quality and quantity of work. My plan is to hire in home help if we have kids so that I can keep an eye on them but but still be able to commit to my job. It’s good you have options and are keeping your options open for now!

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