(Closed) Career vs Baby? What would you choose?!

posted 10 years ago in Career
Post # 17
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m totally struggling with this right now. I really wanted to go back to school after we got married and we got settled but…I also would really love to have kids after we get married and settled! But I can’t imagine doing both!

Post # 18
2025 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

In the same boat. Just turned 27 and feel like I can either pursue another career now (have 1 degree, but hate my job) and put off having children until I’m in my 30’s, or have children sooner and figure it out later. It’s frustrating and I’m confused. I just feel like I should have gotten myself together a little earlier and I wouldn’t be so lost.

As for you, though, seeing as you actually have a career you’re interested in pursuing, as well as the opportunity to have it paid for, I’d put off having children. I know if I had that kind of opportunity right now, I’d jump all over it. 

Post # 19
2631 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Yikes…that is a hard one for you.  I’ve been in my career since I was 21 (graduated from college early and snagged a job right off the bat), so it’s easy for me to say choose the baby!  But….I understand the desire to have the career or even keep a career.  I don’t want to work when I have a baby at home, but I’m not ready to stop working, so we’re putting off babies for a few more years and I’m almost 29…with fertility issues…(yes, I know it’s dangerous to put off having babies, but the way I see it is, it won’t do anyone any good to have a baby when I’m not emotionally ready for one).


Post # 20
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Well, if you’re open to the idea of kids in general and worried about the pill, you could always just stop taking it and continue on in your original direction with the career. That way if you get pregnant, then there’s your answer but if not then you are working towardsa more stable career, so win-win.

Post # 21
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Personally, I’m not sure when or if I’ll want to have kids, but it’s important to me that I’m able to support them comfortably. I want my children to have a really good life, and that means being established in my career first.

Post # 22
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I second

View original reply
@moderndaisy: just stop taking the Pill and let whatever’s meant to be happen 🙂

Returning to school isn’t easy. Neither is motherhood. And both together certainly aren’t a picnic. But I always try to think about what I’ll wish I’d done when I’m 80, and family/kids always seem to be the most important in the long run.

You shouldn’t pass by a good opportunity, though! I say, do both Smile

Post # 23
1870 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

School will cost you money. Children will cost you money. Only one will set you up for reimbursement.


I mean, it’s true, but I can’t tell you which to choose–only that I know that a) there’s never a good time to have a baby and b) it’s very hard to get through school and to finish when you have a baby–it’s possible, especially if you have a husband who can help you out–but it’s pretty hard.

But if I can make an observation, it sounds like right now you’re intimidated by all the hurdles you have to jump to get into the program you want to do and I just wanted to encourage you to step up and start at least moving towards the program. Once you start working towards the credentials you need, it won’t look that bad. It just takes that first step. I encourage you to do this before having a baby because that first step is the hardest and you’ll be less likely to take it once you start having kids. But maybe if you get the ball rolling, you’ll can actually get started on BOTH.

Post # 24
13094 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Personally, I would chose baby.  But I also want nothing more than to have a career as a stay-at-home mom so I guess I’m a little biased.

Post # 25
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

@underwoohoo: We are twins (though I’m a little younger). I’m in  a ton of debt from my first degree and just went back to school for nursing. We would love to have a baby too, but financially I can’t go to school and have a baby. 🙁

 I chose school because I want to get my student debt paid off asap.

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