(Closed) Career vs family – what's more important to you?

posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll: Do you choose your career or starting a family?

    My career is more important to me - I don't want any kids

    My career is more important to me - I'm delaying having kids

    I don't mind giving up my career to start a family

  • Post # 18
    Member
    859 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m cbc. My career is incredibly important to me and I wouldn’t sacrifice it for anything. (Especially not if it was an 18 + year commitment)

    Post # 19
    Member
    1554 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

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    MissRustic:  I don’t necessarily think that you left an option for those of us who are both pursuing a career AND having a family!

     

    Post # 20
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

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    MissRustic:  Family all the way!

    I just started my career, and I’m very happy! It feels great to be in my field and it’s a lot of fun. But, my main goal in life has always been to start a family. Once my Fiance and I are married and we have some of the renos done on our house we’re going to start a family and I have no problems putting my career on hold or cutting back to part time.

    Post # 21
    Member
    470 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    This is something I think about a lot. My choice is family, but in a roundabout way I guess. I’m 25, FH is 26 and we’re getting married in 24 days. For the longest time we thought we’d begin TTC straight after the wedding, however we’ve decided to delay for at least a year possibly two.

    The decision is twofold, financial (we could afford a child now, but we would prerer to be more comfortable first) and the second is my career. I’m just finishing up a degree (my lst exam is today! Hello, WB break) and there’s a promotion waiting for me after the wedding but it isn’t quite where I want to be.. 

    Yes, having children will be amazing and I really want to be a mother and everything that goes with it, but I’ll be going back to work after 9 months to a year, and I need to feel fulfilled at work, especially since being a new mother I’m not likley to have as much ambition as I do now. So I want to be in a position that I enjoy and feel valued, maybe even sometimes challenged in. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee

    for me, family has always come before a career. I thought about waiting until I’m in my mid-thirties to have children while I get my masters and work my way up to a great position in a career, but if I’m being honest to myself I am not passionate enough about anything (besides a family) to spend all of the time and money on higher education to get to that point. I’m 21 and just about to graduate from college. I plan on working a TON for 1-3 years after to pay down student loans as much as possible and save a ton so that we are in a place to start a family. Whether I stay at home until kids are in school or continue working will depend on our financial situation when we do have kids. I don’t think I would mind either way. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    199 posts
    Blushing bee

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    MissRustic:  i hate that guys never get asked this question

    Post # 24
    Member
    7881 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I have worked hard for many years to get to my professional goal, and I love making a difference with what I do. However, I also know that 35 is advanced maternal age where the risk of birth defects and stuff goes up. I’m finishing up my training next year, but I plan to continue working at full blast for a few years and then having the first kid. After that, I will continue my work but know that I’ll have to also dedicate time to the little one. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    4367 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

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    MissRustic:  I wouldn’t mind giving up my job. I like it, but if I got the chance to be a stay at home mom, I’d take it in a heartbeat. For me though, I won’t ever have to really choose between the two. My job has incredibly flexible hours and my boss and immediate supervisor are single moms, so they bring their babies to work or allow us to work from home when needed. If I stay with this job I wouldn’t be concerned with having to choose too too much. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    229 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic

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    MissRustic:  

    I’m 23 and my husband is 27. We both work full time and make decent money. I’m currently a part time student but some semester I go full time. We live comfortable, drive brand new vehicle, go on vacation overseas every year, but we know that if we were to have a child right now we would have to put all of that on hold and we might not be able to offers our child all the things that we were never offered. My husband and I were kind of poor growing up. That is why we are really trying to enjoy our selves right now. We also don’t want our child growing up the way that we did. When we do have a child, I don’t want him/her to ever need anything. I would like to have a child someday, just not now. I want to finish school which will take another 2 years and after that, I want to travel the world a bit more and then we could start a family. I think I’ll be ready to have kids when I’m like 28 years old. My mom had me at the same age, we don’t want to rush ourselves.

    Post # 27
    Member
    3716 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: City, State

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    MissRustic:  I am 28 1/2 and waiting for my promotion to be posted any day now (I am government, so I have to compete for my promotion… but I wrote the position and the job description, so it is pretty much a done deal). We will start TTC shortly after I get it. 

    For me it is a balancing act– I love my career, but I want a family more. I would never quit and want to work full time, but I am not going to kill myself for this type of career. It isn’t what I love, but I like it enough and really enjoy the pay and flexibility.

    Post # 28
    Member
    5356 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2016

    We are 22. We both graduate in May. We have no clue where we will be this time next year because it will be wherever FI’s job takes us. I’ll be in law enforcement/juveniles so that’s everywhere and I’m obviously not going to be making a ton of money. Fiance is in finance so that’s why we will go wherever he goes. I will always put family above my career. We don’t plan on TTC until we are around 27/28. Both of my parents passed away by the time I was 16 and FI’s mom passed away when he was 17. This definitely plays a HUGE role in our decision to have me to a Stay-At-Home Mom. I want to be able to give my kids the family that I was robbed of when I was so young. You never know how long you will be on this planet and I would rather spend that time with my family. 

    Post # 29
    Member
    7979 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    I had a very successful career early in our marriage. But DH and I had discussed having children before we were ever married, and we both agreed on how we wanted to raise a family. We had always planned for me to stay home after the children were born. 

    Many people can do both, and that’s a great decision if that is what works best for an individual and her family. But I am an all or nothing kind of person, and I could not have been fully invested in my career and fully invested in being a mum at the same time. Because of that, it would not have been fair to have children if I had continued to work because I could not have devoted adequate time to both. I travelled a LOT for work and was at work at all sorts of odd hours, and I simply could not have done both. 

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