Post # 1
Hello Bees! I’m writing this in hope of some advice. I got engaged last July and my wedding is this coming July, so only 4 months to go. Lately I have been wondering if I am making the right decision. My fiance is a great man, I know that he loves me and cares for me.. he even got me a car for a wedding present. However, he is very set on his ways and nobody can make him change his mind. My life long dream has been to travel around the world before having kids, he wants to have kids right after the wedding and told me I cant have the cake and eat it too…. that if we ever traveled it’d be when we retire. I also wanted to go back to school and get a master’s degree, not happening…. Idk what to do. I love him and I know that I will have everything (economically) with him. But whats more important, my dreams or starting a family?… HELP!
Post # 3
ohhhhh toughy! go with your heart! I know that sounds so cliche and all, but honestly it’s your life and you only get one shot.
Post # 4
Everyone second guesses decisions in their lives. It would be a problem if you didn’t.
You need to talk to him. A wordly trip every now and then does not have to get in the way of starting a family. You can have it all. Make it work.
Remember why you said yes. Do you still feel like you’d say yes if he asked you to marry him today?
Post # 5
@lynnt85: I was engaged before I met my Mr. Right. While I would have been “happy” marrying guy #1, I knew in my heart that I didn’t really want to marry him. I wanted the life I would have with him–but not him (loved his family, loved how smart he was, yaddah yaddah).
I called off my first engagement 4 days before the wedding. It sucked, but I now know there’s no shame in reassessing a relationship.
Today, there is no way I would ever let Mr. Right go. No cold feet. Nothing but excitement for our future. Mr. Right is the real deal and I know it with every ounce of my being.
Compromise is always a big part of any relationship. At the same time, you must honest with yourself and what you really want, otherwise you won’t be happy.
My advice? Let go of any anxiety and really search your feelings. Determine what’s most important to you, then talk to your man. Hopefully, together, you will come up with a compromise that feels like a win.