Post # 1
So my Fiance and I have finally put together a rough guest list. Well, his mother did that is. She sent it over, even after I informed her that we coulv invite no more than 100 people, due to budget and venue limitations.
SO we got the guest list back from her… it totalled 116 including my own short list of 31 people! Now she did divide them into “people that definitely will come”, “maybes” and “will not come but send invitation hoping for gift!”
Most of the list falls under the “not coming” category, due to the fact that it is a destination wedding for all of our guests (we live here though!).
Do I send out that many invitations/save the dates, knowing that atleast 40% will not come? Or perhaps once I get the declines back, send out more invitations to those lower on the list such as cousins he never speaks to?
What is a girl to do!
Post # 3
I would first send out invites to the “must-have” guests, and as they decline, you invite the “b-list” people. Do not let anyone know they are on the “b-list” and you will be fine. ONLY send out save the dates to the guests you KNOW for sure that you want to be there like the “must-have” and family or close friends.
Post # 4
This is a hard call, and I’m in the exact same situation (DW for everyone else, but where we live).
My venue has a capacity of 170, and our guest list has about 210 on it. I went through the list with my mom and Future Mother-In-Law, and we came up with a ton of people who wouldn’t come – they either said they already couldn’t come, or people like FI’s great aunt who’s in her 90s and lives across the country who won’t be hopping a plane for someone they haven’t seen in years… I am only sending out invitiations in excess of the 170 capacity if I know that I have someone on the list who isn’t coming.
If they’re only be invited hoping for a gift though, I’d cross them off. That’s a bit rude.
Post # 5
I am a bit torn between the a/b list idea and simply sending them all out. I would personally like to include everyone, but thats how I am. I wouldnt br inviting people just for gifts, i genuinely would love it if everyone would come. That unfortunately is ver unlikely. I think perhaps we will most likely be doing the separate lists and invite people on our b list after we know for sure how many from list a are coming. It’s probably the most practical and will for sure keep us out of trouble.
Does that mean only A list people are given the Save the Dates theN?
Its difficult planning a Destination Wedding for everyone but us! Haha.
Post # 6
Only send STD’s to people who will ABSOLUTELY make the final guest list. We decided not to have a B-list because inevitably, someone will figure out that their RSVP date was different than Aunt Mildred’s or something. We just cut the list as much as possible. We definitely will not invite more than our venue or budget can handle… always plan for 100% acceptance!
Post # 7
@DaneLady: This, but also, I personally think it’s a REALLY bad idea to invite people expecting them not to come. You never know, and if you end up with more than you can afford ot than your space will permit, you’re screwed.