(Closed) Cash a wedding check BEFORE the wedding?? Advice needed

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

We got a check before our wedding too, with a decline, so I know how you feel. What I did was keep the check not cashed, until after the wedding, and I sent them a thank you card right away; just to thank them for their thoughtfulness and kind gesture and also to let them know that their presence would be missed at the wedding, but we totally understood why they couldn’t be there. I also let them know that we would not be cashing it until after the wedding. When I send out the other thank you cards, I will be sending them another thank you with a picture of us at the wedding and I will also thank them again for their nice gift and let them know what we purchased with it.

Post # 4
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

If I had sent a check in the RSVP, I would expect it to be cashed and a Thank You sent when it was received. 


Post # 5
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

We got a few checks before the wedding. We cashed them and sent thank you notes right away. My thinking is people write a check expecting it to be cashed, so I wouldn’t want them to be waiting for the check to clear for weeks and weeks.

Post # 6
5800 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Cash the check and send the card right away. I get annoyed when people take weeks to deposit checks I write.

Post # 7
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We had one also due to our wedding isn’t until June 4th, I did cash the check. A lot of people do not like having a uncashed check sitting out there .  Personally I would cash the check because your wedding is also end of May.  They sent you a check they expect you to cash it. 

Post # 8
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Definitely send a thank you note right away. The cashing it or not issue is tougher, but I know that when I write a check I’m always kind of antsy about wanting the person to cash it right away so I don’t have to set aside and tiptoe around the money in my bank account for too long.

Alternatively, you could call them now and thank them for it, and then send an official thank you with the others after the wedding thanking them again and saying what you bought with it.

Post # 9
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Cash it and send the thank you note right away.  You’re not doing them any favors by holding onto it, if they had not wanted you to have it until you’re married, they would have sent it after the wedding.

Post # 10
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

For those of you not cashing checks, consider this: there’s usual a time limit on how long you can keep a check before cashing it.  

Also, did you consider the fact that the person might balance their account, realize it HAS NOT been cashed, and cancel the check fearing it got stolen or lost?  Especially if they don’t have your number.

It can also play havoc with someone’s checking account.  


I suggest cashing it, sending a thank you card, and letting it go.  

Post # 11
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Cash it. If I was them it would drive me nuts that you didn’t. I would also send a thank you right away.

Post # 12
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

@chexmixDC: This is totally what I was going to say.  They sent you the check, they want you to have it.  I think you should go ahead and cash it now so their records are not all messed up, and write a thank you and send it right away.  I would do that whether they had RSVPd yes or no.  Besides, you’ll be happy to have that thank you out of the way!

Post # 13
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

@Zinzerena: Ours arrived only a couple weeks before the wedding. And the time limit for cashing checks is 6 months; a year for cashiers checks 🙂

As long as an acknowledgement is sent and/or conveyed to the sender of the check holding the check should not be an issue.

Post # 14
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

 I HATE when my checks aren’t cashed right away.  I don’t really balance my check book, i just keep track online, and there have been a few times when checks of mine weren’t cashed for weeks and it made me overdraw my account and i was charged a bundle. This was mostly from Rent checks. Which is why I now only give them money orders to avoid this problem. 

Post # 15
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

send a thank you NOW, cash it in the next week or so.

nothing makes me more angry than an uncashed check when it’s my bank account.  if i didn’t want you to cash it, i wouldn’t have given it to you.

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