Post # 1
I received an RSVP today marked “not coming” from my childhood friend’s parents. With the declined RSVP they sent a very nice card and a check for $100.00.
First of all, I feel guilty even cashing the check, because that is not why I invited them….I did not want ANY monetary gifts or gifts at all for that matter!
But, it was an extremely nice gesture and I know that they sent it because they wanted to, not because they felt they had to….so I will cash it….my question is….
Do I send a Thank You card out right away and cash it after they recieve the Thank You……..or Wait until after the wedding, send their Thank You note with the rest of the Thank You’s and then cash this check? The wedding is about 6 weeks away.
I feel like if I cash it before the wedding…I seem greedy or they may think “wow, she’s not even married yet and already cashing in!”
If I wait until after the wedding….they may be wondering why I waited so long to send a Thank you and cash the check…. what if they wonder for the next 6 weeks “did she ever get our check? We haven’t gotten a thank you note from her and she hasn’t cashed our check yet!”
PLEASE HELP!! : )
Post # 3
We got a check before our wedding too, with a decline, so I know how you feel. What I did was keep the check not cashed, until after the wedding, and I sent them a thank you card right away; just to thank them for their thoughtfulness and kind gesture and also to let them know that their presence would be missed at the wedding, but we totally understood why they couldn’t be there. I also let them know that we would not be cashing it until after the wedding. When I send out the other thank you cards, I will be sending them another thank you with a picture of us at the wedding and I will also thank them again for their nice gift and let them know what we purchased with it.
Post # 4
If I had sent a check in the RSVP, I would expect it to be cashed and a Thank You sent when it was received.
Post # 5
We got a few checks before the wedding. We cashed them and sent thank you notes right away. My thinking is people write a check expecting it to be cashed, so I wouldn’t want them to be waiting for the check to clear for weeks and weeks.
Post # 6
Cash the check and send the card right away. I get annoyed when people take weeks to deposit checks I write.
Post # 7
We had one also due to our wedding isn’t until June 4th, I did cash the check. A lot of people do not like having a uncashed check sitting out there . Personally I would cash the check because your wedding is also end of May. They sent you a check they expect you to cash it.
Post # 8
Definitely send a thank you note right away. The cashing it or not issue is tougher, but I know that when I write a check I’m always kind of antsy about wanting the person to cash it right away so I don’t have to set aside and tiptoe around the money in my bank account for too long.
Alternatively, you could call them now and thank them for it, and then send an official thank you with the others after the wedding thanking them again and saying what you bought with it.
Post # 9
Cash it and send the thank you note right away. You’re not doing them any favors by holding onto it, if they had not wanted you to have it until you’re married, they would have sent it after the wedding.
Post # 10
For those of you not cashing checks, consider this: there’s usual a time limit on how long you can keep a check before cashing it.
Also, did you consider the fact that the person might balance their account, realize it HAS NOT been cashed, and cancel the check fearing it got stolen or lost? Especially if they don’t have your number.
It can also play havoc with someone’s checking account.
I suggest cashing it, sending a thank you card, and letting it go.
Post # 11
Cash it. If I was them it would drive me nuts that you didn’t. I would also send a thank you right away.
Post # 12
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
@chexmixDC: This is totally what I was going to say. They sent you the check, they want you to have it. I think you should go ahead and cash it now so their records are not all messed up, and write a thank you and send it right away. I would do that whether they had RSVPd yes or no. Besides, you’ll be happy to have that thank you out of the way!
Post # 13
@Zinzerena: Ours arrived only a couple weeks before the wedding. And the time limit for cashing checks is 6 months; a year for cashiers checks 🙂
As long as an acknowledgement is sent and/or conveyed to the sender of the check holding the check should not be an issue.
Post # 14
I HATE when my checks aren’t cashed right away. I don’t really balance my check book, i just keep track online, and there have been a few times when checks of mine weren’t cashed for weeks and it made me overdraw my account and i was charged a bundle. This was mostly from Rent checks. Which is why I now only give them money orders to avoid this problem.
Post # 15
send a thank you NOW, cash it in the next week or so.
nothing makes me more angry than an uncashed check when it’s my bank account. if i didn’t want you to cash it, i wouldn’t have given it to you.
Post # 16
Wow….So the majority of responses say to cash now, send Thank you now….totally opposite of what my mother says!! I’m so glad I asked you guys!! I feel better now!!