Post # 47
We’re just having unlimited wine, beer, and & a signature cocktail for a completely different reason than cost– my fiancé absolutely abhors the idea of people coming to weddings and thinking it’s a free-for-all to get plastered on someone else’s dime. While people can still get drunk off of beer and wine, I think it sets a different tone to the event. We want people to have fun, but not to be throwing back tequila shots all night.
The bottom line is to have an evening that reflects you and your fiancé and that accommodates your guests. You want the people who are taking time out of their schedules to celebrate you two to have a good time, and you can do that without an open bar in lots of other ways. As long as you don’t lose site holistically of your guests, you’ll be fine. And just like msmonicka said, “do what you want girl!”
Post # 48
I think the best way to go about this is just offer beer and wine.
If I went to a wedding with a cash bar I would be disappointed and I know my family/friends would think it is the worst thing ever. I guess it just depends but I know I cant pull that sh*t when it comes to my wedding or no one would come!
Post # 49
This is one of those topics that comes up so often and is so hotly debated I feel like WB should just do a ‘Summary Of The Great Cash Bar Debate’ and refer all posters to it.
By now you’ve probably gotten a pretty clear picture of the opinions involved. Some people are probably going to take issue with it. I’m not saying I agree, but I don’t want to lie and say those opinions won’t be out there. Some people will be happy to spend the day with you no matter what you choose and will go with the flow.
Personally, I would appreciate at least one alcoholic option for free as I never have cash on me! Especially to a wedding, where I’m typically carrying one of those itty bitty clutches.
Post # 50
We’re doing a cash bar… if people wish to drink they can but I used to plan big events with open bars and saw way too many people get completely tashed and become incoherent it sad and breeds problems at weddings especially where family tension may exist. We are proving wine for toasting (and cider so kids feel included), and all soft drinks but past that folks will pay as they go and I know won’t get as trashed..
We can’t afford it and both sets of parents think an open bar is ridulous.. friends and famiily can understand we have lots of other fun stuff… so its just how it is.
Post # 51
I’ve always been of the mindset as most of you, if you were to come into my home I wouldn’t expect you to pay for your drinks…but I also wouldn’t feel obligated to offer you unlimited alcohol of varying types. At my home I would purchase a certain amount of wine/beer/sodas based on my budget. I’m in a similar predicament as we are having a small wedding in a restaurant. Most of our wedding is in the bar area (other than the dinner which will be in a separate dining room) so all types of liquor will be available. We were hoping to offer beer, wine, and soda all night but our budget is extremely tight and as the restaurant only offers a consumption bar we don’t know if we can afford to host the entire night. We are now considering hosting the first hour (cocktail hour) and then soda the rest of the night and cash bar for anything else. We’ve already cut back on many things to pay for this and I can’t justify the bar tab being the highest cost of our wedding when we’ve cut out so many other things, including a honeymoon. If we somehow win the lottery between now and then I will most definitely change to limited hosted consumption for the entire night…
Post # 52
I am doing a cash bar. And do not find it offensive. I worked at a wedding event center and witnessed successful and nice cash bars. And I don’t agree with the statement that its the equal to inviting people over and charging for drinks. Ever heard of BYOB at a party? Usually when going to a party you supply your own drinks.
Post # 53
@corrc7131: I’m sorry, but yes, according to etiquette and the rules of hospitality, it’s tacky and rude. As the hosts, you get to decide what to serve, but you are obligated to pay for it – to ask your guests to do so. A guest should never be asked to take out their wallet.
Think of it like this – if you invited friends over for a dinner party, would you ask them to pay for the drinks you served? Of course not. Your obligations to provide hospitality to your guests don’t change with the venue or the occasion.
Not to mention, serving beer and wine only is perfectly fine. Why not just Ho with that and skip the tickets and cash bar?
Post # 54
@MrsHullToBe: I think kids tend to do the BYOB thing, adults not so much. There is also a recognized difference in having a cooperative party (such as a pot-luck) and being the host.
The analogy of asking guests to pay for their drinks at a dinner or party is apt. when you invite guests, you assume the obligations of a host and that includes providing (and paying for) adequate food and drink for the time of day.
Post # 55
I will be having a cash bar (it’s standard in my area) although I am providing wine with dinner and 2 glasses of sparkling wine. The way I see it is that I have provided what I think is a pretty adequate amount of alcohol. If guests came to my house and either wanted more or wanted different alcohol, then it’s not my duty to bend over backwards for them (as long as I have provided something reasonable for them). They can either put up with it or they can go out and get their own.