(Closed) Cash Bar

posted 8 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Is it tacky to have a Cash Bar?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 62
    Member
    1202 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Everyone doesn’t have to drink. I’m reading some of these comments and some are saying if you can’t afford to have an open bar, then don’t offer any alcohol and how drinking is a bad habbit. I totally disagree. If your guest want to drink, then they have the option to purchase a drink. Why take that option away from them completely. And its not fair to assume that just because you drink and have a bar, cash or open, that people are automaically going to get drunk and that you’re contrubuting to their bad habits. I find those to be ignorant remarks. 

    My Fiance and I were discussing this because of this post and we decided to just have open bar for beer, wine and one signature cocktail in our honor. Hard liquor will be for purchase. Proper or not, its not a big deal. People are going to do what they want to do. Just be honor enough that you were even invited to thier wedding. 

    Water, soda, tea and coffee will be provided for free. 

    Post # 63
    Member
    1115 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’m for checking on the beer and wine option. 

    I just find cash bars…distasteful. I’ve honestly never seen one at a wedding before. 

    Post # 64
    Member
    1769 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I fall in the “if you can’t afford it, don’t offer it” camp. I wouldn’t say cash bars are “tacky” but I don’t like them, and I think they’re a little rude, ESPECIALLY if you have out of town guests who are traveling to be there, spending money for a hotel, and giving you a gift…then you expect them to buy their own drinks? Ick.

    Post # 65
    Member
    103 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    View original reply
    @andielovesj:  Charging guests for any part of your hospitality is rude.  If cash bars are socially acceptable in your area, it just means as a group you have chosen to overlook this impoliteness.  Not that the act isn’t rude.

    Talk about rude…It might be time to step away from the etiquette boards. 

    We are having an open bar.  However, As a guest, I would rather have the option to buy my own than nothing at all. 

    Do what you need to do.  I think most normal people can understand you would supply all the alcohol if you could…but you can’t and I think that is just fine.

     

    Post # 66
    Member
    1115 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    @Natinat6:  She offered advice according to the rules of etiquette. She wasn’t rude about it. 

    I honestly find her to be very knowledgeable about etiquette and hope that she never steps away from the etiquette boards. Even with the possibility that we might not always agree. 

    Post # 67
    Member
    103 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    View original reply
    @DeadlyNightshade:  I guess I see it another way.  I think that calling a regional custom rude to be disparaging.  Regional customs are what make us all who we are.  Just because they don’t watch up to etiquette, which is written by someone who is in their own region and can’t avoid basing their rules on their own experience, doesn’t make them tacky.

    I get the overarching point- it is better not to have a cash bar and see the thinking behind it.  I just think saying an entire region or group of people are being rude is overstepping.

    Post # 68
    Member
    1202 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    View original reply
    @Natinat6:  I agree with you. I read her post as being rude. I’m sure not her intentions, but stating that drinking is a bad habit, but a glass or two of wine a day is good for. Sounds a little contradicting to me. and stating that people are automatically going to get drunk just becsuse there’s a bar. A little ignorant to me. 

    Post # 69
    Member
    2187 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2024

    I don’t think a cash bar is tacky, not everyone can afford open bar.

    You said the bar minimum is $500, is there anyway you can prepay the $500 and when the bar tab goes beyond that people start paying for their own drinks? I went to a wedding that did that and I thought it was very nice they paid for the majority of the drinks and I think I had to only pay for 1-2 which I was cool with.

    Post # 70
    Member
    9129 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    Not a fan of cash bars.  I never carry money on me when I go to parties, especially weddings.  If I attended a wedding where there was no alcohol I wouldn’t think the couple was being cheap, they just chose not to serve alcohol for whatever reason (maybe they have an alcoholic family member they don’t want to be tempted.)  If I go to a wedding where there is a cash bar (especially if I wasn’t warned ahead of time) I would think the couple was being cheap and since I don’t carry cash I would be a little peeved about it.  That said, we picked our venue based off the fact that we could stock the bar ourselves withinour budget (private beach house.)

    I have been to lots of weddings with no booze at all and I never missed it or got upset about it.

    Post # 71
    Member
    13943 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    @echolove:  Umm… she has the reasons against a cash bar numbered 1, 2, and 3.  Perhaps if you looked at it like I laid out below would make more sense to you..

    ARGUMENT # 3: Drinking is a bad habit

    RESPONSE TO ARGUMENT #3:  glass or two of wine a day is actually GOOD for you.  Getting drunk is a bad habit, but there are ways to prevent that

    Post # 72
    Member
    9129 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    View original reply
    @Bazinga:  BTW OP.  This is how we paid for our bar at my first wedding.  We hosted the first $800 with draft beer, house wine, and well liquor.  The guests never even made it past $400 so our bar bill ended up being super cheap.  The secret?  Small wedding (<50 people), most of my family are teetotalers, and I only invited my closest friends from college.

    Post # 73
    Member
    443 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I know all the wedding planning guides say the one rule to abide by is to never have a cash bar.

    Well I am from the midwest, and honestly I have only been to a couple weddings where it was an open bar! And those that were, the bride and groom supplied kegs of beer and wine and maybe a few bottles of liqour. So IMO it is compeltely acceptable, and we will be having a cash bar.

    We are on a 5k budget and opening the bar up for everyone all night does not cover that! We are on the other hand having 2 free kegs, but according to the catering contract if they are not gone before the dance starts then they will be taken away (but with our families they will be gone way before! LOL)

     

    Post # 74
    Member
    1115 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    @Natinat6:  This is the way I look at it: My friends like to burp. In public. Loudly. Do I take offense? No. It’s what I’m used to. Does it make it any less rude? No. Not at all. I’ve just chosen to overlook it and it’s become normal to me.  

    View original reply
    @echolove:  You’re confusing two different people. She never said that drinking was a bad habit, that was someone earlier in the thread who she was responding to. 

    Post # 75
    Member
    1278 posts
    Bumble bee

    It depends on what the norms are for your location and circle.  The last few weddings I went to had cash bars (or semi cash bar), but my SO has never been to a cash bar.  

    Post # 76
    Member
    13943 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    @DeadlyNightshade:  That is a fantastic burping analogy!  I think it makes a lot of sense! 🙂

    OP, I think it boils down to what is okay in your circle.  Would your family and friends be okay with having to pay for their drinks?  It would be an enormous etiquette faux pas in my circle, and it would really ruffle a few feathers.  Where I’m from, cash bars are unacceptable, but it really does change with who your audience is. 

    The topic ‘Cash Bar’ is closed to new replies.

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