(Closed) Cash Bar Dilemma!!

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 46
Member
906 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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datura:  I thought that chicken was looked down upon because it ends up being dry, not because it’s cheaper. It’s not noticeably cheaper at any of the caterers we researched.

Post # 47
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

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datura:  Having a cash bar is more like  choosing to serve steak instead of chicken but expecting everyone to pay for their meal because the couple wanted steak but didn’t want to have to pay for it. Does that sound like good hospitality to you?

Post # 48
Hostess
5046 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2016

datura: I don’t think that your steak v. chicken = open bar v. cash bar comparison works. To me, having a cash bar would be more like having guests go up to get food and be told it costs $x vs. having steak or chicken. A better comparison for going with chicken over steak would be having a limited bar (beer and wine) instead of an open bar, which I definitely think is acceptable. I’ve only ever been to full open bars or limited bars and would be really put off if I went to a wedding with a cash bar. I agree with PP that you should never ask your guests to open their wallets at your wedding. Yes the wedding ceremony is about you and your spouse, but the reception is to thank your guests for attending your ceremony and for supporting/loving you throughout your lives.

Post # 49
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee

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datura:  It isn’t tacky to serve chicken over steak because the price is cheaper, becuase in the end YOU paid for it, not your guests.  The same cannot be said for a cash bar.  YOU aren’t paying for any of it, your guests are and that is not okay.

And of course people can afford a to “host” cash bar, it is free for them, but not for their guests.

Post # 50
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

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loveisbrewing:  no, I completely disagree. Serving wine with dinner is enough. A couple shouldn’t feel obliged to serve other alcohol too. It’s an expensive luxury option in my opinion. My point about the chicken ( which is MUCH cheaper here) is that I find it weird that people get so angry about liquor, and don’t seem to apply those standards to anything else.

Again, cultural differnces? 

Post # 51
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee

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datura:  What are you talking about? Chicken is not tacky… making your guests PAY for chicken is tacky. 

She made a post about having hot air balloon rides at her reception…. soooo I think she can afford to treat her guests, like guests. 

Post # 52
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee

And to use food vs drink examples further.  Having a partial cash bar is like serving chicken for free but if your guests prefer steak then they have to pay $X.  Since we can all agree that making guests pay for their meal is rude, the same should be said for any other item that is offered at a wedding including the dessert and drinks. 

Post # 53
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Hmm, I’m stepping out of this discussion now. Fundamental differnces in how we see the world, and I can only ascribe that to cultural differnces. Every single wedding I’ve been to had a cash bar, and wine served with dinner. 

Post # 54
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Canaan Valley Resort, WV

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freckles071611: 

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ironmaidelah:  I mean I don’t agree with it either, but it was at a super classy wedding where the parents didn’t want everyone to get drunk, so to each their own. We’re serving beer and wine and if the guests want liquor there is a bar down the hall, more for honoring my religious grandmother rather than costs.

Post # 55
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee

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datura:  I don’t give a flying crap if liquor or even alcohol period is available at the wedding.  What I do care about is if I have to pay for something at your wedding.  If you want something offered to your guests at your wedding then YOU should pay for it.  Period.  And if you can’t afford a bar of any kind then you have non-alcoholic beverages.  But it will never be okay to make your guests shell out money at your event.

Post # 56
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee

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mandygurl88:  Drink tickets do not equal super classy wedding.  I also hate when people try to control other people.  If you don’t want people to get drunk then don’t offer alcohol.  But to try and control how much they can drink with tacky ass drink tickets is beyond disgusting.

Post # 57
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Either have a open bar or no cash bar.. not half and half. How many guest are you having? $7000 for a bar is alot. We had a open bar and we had just over $1000 and it was $3700ish for cocktail hour and 6 hours of open bar.

Post # 58
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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datura:  You are comparing apples and oranges.  It’s totally fine to serve chicken.  No problem.  The problem would be if you served chicken but offered steak to your guests at a cost to them.  See how that’s awful?

Post # 59
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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datura:  So basically you can’t come up with a retort that makes any sense?  

Post # 60
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

 

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datura:  I agree, alcohol is not necessary at a wedding.  So if you can’t pay for it, have a dry wedding.   Other lluxury options OP is choosing are a fancy venue, expensive dress and hot balloon rides,  should the guests pay for those things too?  All you need to have a wedding reception is yourselves, adequate shelter and seating, and enough food so guests don’t go hungry. Anything further than that is up to you to provide.

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