- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2016
Also, I do appreciate everyone’s comments because it does give me an idea of how people will react to this at the wedding. That being said, I am mindful of the fact that all of the people we’ve invited are our closest friends and family who love us and will be there to support us and celebrate with us (not to get drunk off free booze). I knew going in that everyone in here would have many varying opinions, but I like to keep an open mind to them which is why I come on the bee in the first place.
When other posters say that it’s rude and bad hospitality, and you don’t treat guests this way – I think that’s completely unnecessary. The way I think of it is, if I were having guests over at my house for dinner, I would provide wine and beer, and maybe a couple of mixed drinks – but am I going to let them raid my liquor cabinet? No, I don’t think so. In a perfect world where all guests were respectful and had a drink an hour, maybe we could all afford open bar. But in the real world, where a good portion of guests at almost every wedding think it’s fun to get completely trashed on Grey Goose because they don’t have to pay for it – yeah, no.
For the record, I’m in Massachusetts as well, and I have been to a pretty fair mix of cash bar, open bar, and everything in between. Was I ever upset at any of those options? No. Because at the end of the day it was about celebrating an amazing occasion for people I cared very much about, and as long as I had the option to drink whatever I wanted (whether it came out of my pocket or not), I was perfectly content.
FI’s sister got married a couple of years ago and did open bar for cocktail hour, wine with dinner, champagne toast, and X amount of money towards full bar – when that money ran out, the bar went to cash. Literally no one had a bad thing to say, because everyone was too busy having fun celebrating to care. Personally, if someone is going to give the side eye for not having unlimited all kinds of alcohol all evening, I don’t really want that person at my wedding anyway.
At the end of the day, you figure out what you’re comfortable with, and just do that. You’re always going to have people on both ends of the spectrum whose minds will never change, and it’s not worth worrying if they are going to agree with what you’re doing or not, because there will always be someone who doesn’t agree. You can’t please everyone.
I think a cash bar is okay. Alcohol is very expensive, as are weddings.
I think you should have the wedding YOU want. I agree with the pp that said having what you can free is good. Just make sure your guests know. If i were to do a cash bar i would have cocktail hour be open. Its called COCKTAIL HOUR. your guests are your loved ones not a bunch of strangers on the internet. Do what you can and have a fabouolus day. We have a small budget so i totally get where you’re coming from. I went to a wedding that has a 2 hour open bar recently and no one batted an eye.
Cash bar is fine as long as you specify “cash bar at reception” on the invite. Please please let your guests know ahead of time; there is NOTHING worse than feeling duped at the wedding when you expected open bar.
Just don’t expect to get full amount in your envelopes.
Where I live, open bars are the norm. I’ve been to both big budget and small budget weddings and all find a way to have an open bar. Now, I’m not saying YOU have to, but as a guest, I appreciate it a lot more if I don’t have to pay for my drinks.
I’m very surprised at the cost of the open bar. I live in an expensive area and one of my friends got married in October and for 200 people, her open bar wasn’t close to $7,000.
I personally would lessen the budget on things like favors (not necessary), photo booth (I don’t know if you’re having one but I find them not necessary) flowers, etc in order to provide an open bar for my guests.
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