Post # 47
I would totally just go with the wine on the table! That way you avoid the cash bar issue, your side of the family who don’t drink very much will be more than satisfied, and you don’t have to pay for your FI’s family to get wasted. I would perhaps order a few more bottles of wine than you otherwise would if you had a bar, though.
Post # 48
this is always a hot button topic on WB. It clearly varies based on region, norms, etc. I have never been to a cash bar and would not think of asking my guests to buy their own drinks. Whether they bring a present or not doesn’t matter, they are my guests because they took the time to make our wedding a priority. BUT that is just one person’s opinion, and your own experiences and finances always dictate the answer.
To the OP, it sounds like you aren’t that happy about a number of the guests you will be inviting, and that this open bar thing is a bit of a tactic to piss people off, which to me is not the right reason to not have an open bar…..
Post # 49
My Fiance and I went to a wedding 2 years ago and after 2 hours it became a cash bar. It was in a fancy restaurant that did not have an atm. Needless to say, we and several other people that did not have money had to go find an atm. If you are going to have a cash bar it needs to be known so guests are prepared for it. The only cash we had on us was 150.00 and we put that in the bride and grooms card. Fiance and I are having a reception from 5-12 we will have open bar, but we are having it at a hotel. This way people who drink, and mostly we have out of town guests) wont be driving anywhere. If is completely up to you, however we were a bit annoyed not knowing there would be a cash bar after it was an open one through cocktail and dinner. Just make sure guests are aware or that you have an atm within walking distance of your reception if you choose to go this route.
Post # 50
I would like to remind people that t*cky can be a four letter word here on WB.
If you comment that an open bar is completely t*cky, what message are you giving to those low-budget brides who come looking for advice? It sends the message that they are not welcome here just because they can’t afford to booze up their guests. Please respond more tactfully!!
IMO a cash bar doesn’t say anything about the bride or groom. Even having a bar is optional! So providing a cash bar is a service to your guests!! Whether or not you can provide it is not relevant. You said you are providing wine at the table, and that is all that is necessary (even that is iffy!!). I think a cash bar will be fine.
Post # 51
Janna19 – thanks for your comment. If I wanted to piss people off, I think I would have not invited them at all, or put "Monetary Gifts Only" on the invitations, as a lot of couples I know have done. Also, if I wanted to piss people off I could have opted for Host Bar, and given drink passes to only MY side of the family.
I will admit that I am upset at my future in-laws’ blatant expression of refusing to give us gifts on our most special day just because my fiance and I are "financially comfortable." I have acknowledged, however, that a wedding is NOT about receiving gifts but having family come together to celebrate a couple’s sacred union. Having said that, I believe a wedding is also NOT about getting free alcohol and getting wasted on the couple’s dime… most especially if you as a guest didn’t bring a gift at all.
I mean, is alcohol really the most important part of the whole day for the guests? The wine and sodas are usually provided by the couple, but beyond that why is the concept of cash bar such a punishment or taboo for some people? I don’t get it. Is this what most people go to weddings for? The free booze? I’m just trying to understand. I truly appreciate everyone’s input.
Post # 52
I just wanted to say I voted that a cash bar is cheap, but then when I read more about your situation I want to take that back. You say you are already providing wine and champagne plus non-alcaholic drinks. I think that is definitely sufficient! We are doing beer and wine hosted with no option to buy liquor because I don’t want people to pay for stuff while they are there. At the same time, I know some guests would enjoy (and some would abuse) the availability of liquor. I wish I could afford that, but since I can’t, I’m only providing what I CAN pay for.
Since your guests are either non-drinkers, or what you describe as alcaholics, I think it would be best to leave hard alcohol off the menu completely.
Post # 53
I LOVE going to weddings that have an open bar. I don’t know if that makes me mean, or evil, or wrong, or what but it’s true! For that reason I never questioned NOT having an open bar because I know how much I enjoy being able to walk up to the bar and say "grey goose dirty-but not too dirty, extra olives" and not have to pay for it. =)
I’ve also never been to a wedding that had a cash bar only. I’m sure I would grumble but eventually get over it.