(Closed) Cash Bar: "Not Having Cash" Excuse

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 167
1 posts
  • Wedding: June 2015

Do you think it’s okay to have a cash bar, if I’m having free beer, wine, and champagne? 

Like only mixed drinks will be for cash bar. I can’t afford the full open bar, so we’ll be having a keg and glasses of champagne and wine.

Post # 169
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I never have cash on me. I love in a large city where everyone takes cards, even small places have square on their iPhones. If I know I’m going to need cash (normally just for work items like splitting a co-workers birthday gift) I’ll go to the ATM that day. It’s pretty rare though, my credit cards give me miles so prefer to use that.

i would want to know if a wedding was going to be a cash bar so I could be prepared. I always bring my ID and s credit card to weddings, but have never brought cash. I’ve never been to a cash bar wedding so I would find it odd, but that’s also because it’s not common in my area/circle.

Post # 170
199 posts
Blushing bee

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Apple_Blossom:  i dont normally carry cash on me, i may have a 20 once in a while but thats not enough for the alcohol ill need at a wedding. but i dont think that cash bars are “rude”, just irritating. Especially when i can tell the bride is wearing an expensive dress and shows up in a stretch hummer limo. I guess the important question is whether guests know its a cash bar in advance so they know to bring cash, then thats fine….Otherwise, yes its rude!

Post # 171
1000 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t carry cash.  I just don’t.  I’m more likely to PayPal someone in person from my phone than I am to pay for something by cash.  But, I also don’t drink alcohol, so I don’t give a hoot about a cash bar.

Post # 172
1757 posts
Buzzing bee

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Apple_Blossom:  Good for you for being so prepared with cash in your purse. Not everyone thinks like you, in fact you are the minority so stop thinking it’s “strange” when it’s actually the norm. Here’s why: paychecks get directly deopsited into bank accounts, and people use their credit cards because it’s quick at stores and easy to view transactions&balance online. Nobody has cash unless they go to the bank/atm and get cash, for most busy people that is a hassle and not done often.

Post # 173
6104 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013


oneofthesethings:  like I said, that’s the way it’s done in my area and no one thinks twice about it. I’ve never looked at a tip jar and thought it was rude and neither has anyone I know. Different strokes for different folks.

Post # 174
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - The Fairmont, SF

1) Nope. I may have a few pennies floating around the deep recesses of my purse but otherwise, my Fiance and I agreed that it’s better for us to use our credit/debit cards and ixnay paper/coin money. It keeps me accountable for my spending as well as we can review the statement together and see exactly what we’ve been spending. In my day to day life, quite frankly, if a place doesn’t take card, I probably won’t go there. 

2) I’ve only ever been to weddings with fully-hosted bars (the norm for my friends) but I don’t think they’re rude as I have no experience. I would totally understand if a couple opted to have a cash bar to cut costs and would never think to judge someone for that. That being said, realistically, I do know that I would be slightly annoyed if I had to pay for all of my drinks and remember to bring cash along – especially if I didn’t know beforehand. Assuming I’d been given notice to bring cash, I never know how much I need to get out. I always underestimate! If I pulled out £50 thinking that’d cover me and then find that a single drink would put me back £10, I’d probably be extremely annoyed knowing that I can’t drink (not just alcohol) as much as I want without worrying that I’ll be short. I also wouldn’t want to pull out too much cash because then I’d have to take it back to the bank and put it back into my debit account.

Cash bars sound annoying more than rude, in my eyes.

Post # 175
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’ve never been to a cash bar that didn’t take a card to start a tab. So I guess this excuse doesn’t work in my area…

…but to answer you, I rarely have cash on me. And if I do it’s probably $5-10 and some loose change.

Post # 176
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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arosebyanyothername:  That analogy only goes so far. It’s rude to expect your host to serve you anything specific at all. If I went to someone’s house and they only had water and soda to drink, I wouldn’t expect them to serve me wine. If they only had wine, I wouldn’t be asking for mixed drinks. If one bottle of wine ran out and that’s all they had, I wouldn’t be asking for another. If the host only made enough food for 1 portion for every guest, I wouldn’t be expecting them to cook me up something new if I’m still hungry. All of those are analogies to the cash bar argument and if you did those things, they’d be rude.

If there’s a cash bar, that’s providing guests the OPTION of getting drinks or not. Otherwise it’d probably be a dry wedding because B&G can’t afford to pay for drinks.

No one is forcing anyone to drink. No one is forcing anyone to spend money.

People only think it’s rude because they expect to drink alcohol and expect to be able to drink until they are sufficiently buzzed or drunk in order to be able to socialize.

I call that entitlement. And I call that a problem with the way people in this country socialize.

Post # 177
2921 posts
Sugar bee

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franklymydearidont:  fine. you call it entitlement.  I call it expecting your guests to chip in with the cost of your wedding/party/get together.  And from where I come from, that’s called tacky.  And with that said, I’m out of this circular discussion.

Post # 178
22 posts
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m having a cash bar, and let’s all be honest here, there are two types of bars, cash and open.

If someone is coming to my wedding, they know I’m not well off, and chances are I”m not paying for them to get drunk.

I will have wine on the tables, as any host should, but the rest of the alcohol is up to them. It is now their choice if they wish to get drunk further or if they’re happy with what’s provided.

Cash bars are so normal now, that if your’e going to an event that could have one, and you know you’ll want to have a few more than what’s normally provided, then you’ll be smart enough to bring cash.


At least, that’s how I see it. If I know I may want to drink at a friend’s wedding, I bring cash, and if it’s an open bar, then I save. If not, I’ve already planned a head.

Post # 179
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

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Apple_Blossom:  1. We never have cash.  If we have cash, we are going to spend it. The threat of the transaction being recorded for the other to see is enough to make us reconsider whether I need that $4 chai or if he needs that $5 beef jerky. 


2. If people are aware there is a cash bar, the onus is on them to remember cash. This does not have anything to do with whether a cash bar is polite. Whether people have cash has no bearing on if it’s okay to ask them to spend it. 

Post # 180
240 posts
Helper bee

I really don’t care cash unless I’ve gone to get it for a specific event. I’ve been pickpocketed twice in the past 5 years and that’s when I used to carry money. You can’t replace the cash but you can replace the cards easily. 

I also tend to lose track of it more easily. I always find money stashed in clothes pockets or weird places and spend it more quickly. Switching to cards only was the best thing that happened to my budget. No leakage.

So would I bring it if I knew there was a cash bar, I would probably just hope they would take cards and end up having to make a last minute run to the ATM.

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