(Closed) Cash Bar: "Not Having Cash" Excuse

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

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iarebridezilla:  I’m the same way, I usually have emergency cash on me, but not necessarily when I don’t have my typical stuff with me.  DH actually very rarely has cash on him.

Even if I did have cash at a wedding, it’s a bill.  Drinks don’t come in $5 increments, and I don’t want money (which is dirty) touching the other things in my purse when I get the coins which are not going to sit nicely like bills.

Post # 33
Member
1496 posts
Bumble bee

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Apple_Blossom:  

1) Do you typically carry emergency cash or have it easily acccessible (ie in your car, in your desk at work, etc.)?

If you looked in my wallet right now, you’d find two quarters. I never have cash on me. If I go to an event where I think I may need cash, I will have to stop at the bank. I don’t worry about my credit card not working because I have multiple and I have my debit card, so I feel like I’m safe there. If a place only takes cash, then I’m out of luck and can’t spend my money there. I don’t like generic ATMs because the fee they charge to use it can be ridiculous.

2) Is it a valid reason to say that cash bars are rude because attendees do not have cash on them?

It’s definitely a downside to a cash bar. But I think the reason they are rude is because you’re getting guests to pay for the drink of their choice. You wouldn’t host a party at your house and tell people they can have a beer if they pay you $4.

Post # 34
Member
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

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Apple_Blossom:  When there are cash bars around here, they rarely take cards.  It’s someone set up with drink tickets at a little table.

Post # 35
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

Same here; my wallet has a $5 peso from a trip to mexico 8 months ago. That is all the cash in it. Couldn’t even drum up $2 for the niece’s 50-50 tickets! FH also doesn’t keep cash on him. We pay debit or credit for everything because it’s far easier to track and budget your spending. The likihood of us bringing cash to a wedding is $0 unless we know in advance it’s a cash bar. Or unless we open up the presentation envelope and take it from your wedding gift…

Post # 37
Member
11517 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

Where I’m from Cash bars are normal and they all take credit or cash.

I never go to a wedding without cash (except my own and that was a mistake).  DH and I always make sure one of us has cash when we go out (you never know) and my fancy purses all have a little pocket that I can put cash in or DH will put in his billfold.  Change – usually ends up as a tip for the bartender (Which is why drinks don’t come in $5 incremements…)

They don’t bother me, but I’ve grown up with them.

 

Post # 38
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

ok i run 2 businesses and when one of our credit card machines are down..ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!!!

No lie! when we tell the customers that our machines are down they say what do you mean? i have no cash on me! what do i do now? you mean i have to go somewhere and get cash and come back? its mind blowing how nobody carries cash!

But i will agree i do not like cash bars; it should just be a gift for everyone coming to your wedding to throw in the drinks. i know when i am in a dress i have no pockets and i sure do not plan on carrying a purse with me!  

Also i always carry a $50 in emergency cash at all times! 🙂

Post # 39
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I never have more than $20 on me, and even that is rare. If I have cash, I just end up spending it (instead of putting it on my card). My Fiance is a little better, but not by much.

The way I see cash bars is that my gift is insufficient and the couple would also like for us (the guests, not Fiance and me) to cover the cost of alcohol at their wedding, one drink at a time. Not giving the guests a heads up about it, so they don’t come prepared is just adding insult to injury. I’m also Ukrainian, so my opinions have been shaped by my culture. If I didn’t provide my guests with everything they could eat and drink, my ancestors would be rolling in their graves and my dad would be ashamed. (That was only partially joking).

Post # 40
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard

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Apple_Blossom:  to answer your questions specifically – 

1) Do you typically carry emergency cash or have it easily acccessible (ie in your car, in your desk at work, etc.)?

Nope not at all. We have 5 teenagers and I swear they have a “mom has cash radar”. As SOON as i get cash they always seem to be asking for it for gas money, for bus, for lunches, etc. I usually NEVER have cash on me. I tend to only get it now when I know the kids need it.

2) Is it a valid reason to say that cash bars are rude because attendees do not have cash on them? 

Yes, it is very valid. I too, agree with you that it is rude. I believe YOU are the one choosing to celebrate your wedding with your guests. If not, you should have eloped. You are inviting them to a party/celebration, just like you would at your home.

Would you ask them to pay for drinks at your house? Most likely not. So why would you invite them to a party and then ask them to pay for part of it when they most likely are already:

  • already paying for the transportation/gas there
  • paying for any new clothing/accessories to attend
  • paying for a gift/gifting money 
  • taking the time out of their day to celebrate with you

Then get asked to pay for drinks? I agree, it’s rude and shouldn’t ever happen. I don’t care if people say it’s normal in their area. It may be normal but is still rude to ask guests to pay.

Post # 41
Member
2843 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I almost never carry cash unless I have a specific reason to (which is rare).  Even cabs take cards.

Post # 42
Member
2843 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

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imhisoneandonly:  I still carry checks (a carryover from daycare since they only took checks or cash), so I always have a non-CC option of a check.

Post # 44
Member
4235 posts
Honey bee

I usually have some cash on me- I live in a fairly rural area so not all stores even take cards, or it’s not unheard of for the debit machines to go down- there’s nothing worse than trudging through -40 weather with blowing snow only to find out the machines are broken and you don’t have cash!

 

Post # 45
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I rarely have cash unless I know I need it and then I hit up an ATM. If there was an emergency I have credit cards. That said, I don’t care either way about cash bars. When I go to weddings I always bring cash in case it is a cash bar. At the very least I give tips. My wedding was an open bar, but it was not expected in my family or social circle, however we had the means to accomodate that luxury so we did.

Post # 46
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I very rarely carry cash unless I’m on vacation. If I do have cash on me at home, it’s maybe $5-$20. Definitely not enough to be purchasing drinks at a wedding. Obviously, if I knew it was a cash bar wedding, I would be bringing more than that. It would be in very bad taste to spring a surprise cash bar on your guests.

I don’t think cash bars are rude because your guests won’t be carrying cash. They are rude because you’ve invited them to a party that YOU are hosting and expecting them to pay their own way basically. 

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