(Closed) Cash Bar: "Not Having Cash" Excuse

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 76
8679 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Why would you leave cash in your car?! Or, worse, in your desk? 

I dont think that not having cash on you would be the reason most people feel a cash bar is rude. 

I think they’re annoying but not rude. I think this because:

NOBODY I know of in my area or social group does it

Host what you can afford or dont host a party

I guess if it’s areas where cash bars are acceptable then have one. I’ve never been to a wedding or event in one of those areas. 

I dont want to pay an ATM fee to get a darn drink. I think if a place frequently does cash bars then they should accept cards. It’s 2014 I dont see why they cant do it at this point….

Post # 77
674 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I don’t think I’ve carried cash on me at all in at least 2 years. The most I ever have is a few coins for parking meters or the donation cans around Christmas time.

<br />I don’t think a cash bar is rude, but if I went to a wedding where I was not aware beforehand that it would be cash bar I would probably hang around for dinner, first dance, cake cutting and then leave somewhat early. I can’t dance sober. I won’t dance sober.

Post # 78
756 posts
Busy bee

I don’t carry cash on me, but I do agree most cash bar places would have an ATM or take credit.

That being said, I think as PP have said, there are other ways to have the kind of party you can afford.

Brunch reception (where there will be way less drinking), smaller guestlist, etc. I’d prefer to do a brunch reception with a small mimosa bar than an evening reception with a cash bar, but that might just be me.

Post # 79
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Cash bars aren’t rude cause people might not have cash on them.  They’re rude because you’re a shitty host if your GUESTS have to open their wallets for anything at your wedding.

Post # 80
1146 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
Apple_Blossom:  I only pull out cash if I need it specifically. I ONLY use cards or electronic payments (Google wallet, uber instead of cabs, etc). 

To me it’s rude not because people may not have cash (even though I 100% would never think to bring cash to a wedding) but because I believe that part of hosting is treating people.if I invite someone to an event that’s purely about ME, and establish myself as the host on a formal invitation, then I’m not going to put my guests in the position to have to spend money.

Post # 81
637 posts
Busy bee

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Apple_Blossom:  I do not carry cash unless i know the restaurant I’m going to is cash only. Or a cash bar wedding, it would seem obvious to prepare for that.

Post # 83
599 posts
Busy bee

1. I do not carry cash. I don’t even have an emergency $20 tucked away. I’ve never once been in a position where my card didn’t work so it’s never been a priority to make sure I have cash on me.

2. Not having cash is ONE of the reasons why I find cash bars rude. I actually went to a wedding a few years ago with an actual cash bar. They didn’t accept credit cards and did not have an ATM on site. We had to drive roughly 30 mins round trip to the closest gas station to get cash just to hydrate ourselves. They didn’t even offer soda for free. What a joke that wedding was.

If you want to habe a cash bar, fine. No one can force you to provide alcohol for your guests but I really think that they should be given the heads up. Had we known about the cash bar ahead of time, we would have stopped at an ATM on the way. Instead we missed most of the cocktail hour which was super annoying.

Post # 84
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
Apple_Blossom:  wow. Reading all these responses let’s me know how abnormal we are. Fiance owns a small retail business. So, we ALWAYS have cash. I use my cards ONLY in an emergency. We buy everything with cash, the only exception is a small amount of Amazon shopping I do and deposits over the phone. Literally everything else is paid for in cash, even huge purchases.

So, a cash bar really wouldn’t bother me,and I bet my Fiance would end up being owed a lot of money at the end of the night, if we went to a wedding with a cash bar.

Post # 85
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

1. I rarely have cash. DH is a little better then me and usually has at least a 20 on him. But I like to know exactly where my money was spent and I feel like I can keep better track when I use my debit card (since I don’t keep a check register) 

2. I don’t find cash bars rude if I am told ahead of time. I went to a wedding a few years ago that had a cash bar. Nobody was forewarned and not that many people had cash. It was annoying. 

Post # 86
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I don’t keep cash on me cause I spend it too quickly. If I’m going anywhere with a chance of them not taking card I’ll get cash out. A wedding is not one of those times. So yes I think guests not having cash is a valid argument. I think the problem with cash bars is people shouldn’t have to pay for stuff at a party you are hoasting especially when it is expected they bring gifts.

I also would choose not to drink rather than using a generic atm.

Post # 87
991 posts
Busy bee

1) Do you typically carry emergency cash or have it easily acccessible (ie in your car, in your desk at work, etc.)?

Nope. I hardly ever have cash. I work at a bank, so in an emergency during the day, I am literally 20 feet away from where I can access cash. Otherwise, I know where the ATM is. I simply can’t think of an emergency situation in which I would not be able to use a card/check/ATM

2) Is it a valid reason to say that cash bars are rude because attendees do not have cash on them?

Not at all. I’m pro-“do what you can afford”, so I would never question another bride’s decision to opt for a cash bar. In fact, the last wedding Fiance an I went to, we weren’t sure whether or not there would be a cash bar, so we simply stopped at an ATM on the way just in case. I imagine if a guest is ever at a cash-bar wedding without cash they’ll either stick to whatever beverages are provided (water, etc) or they’ll search for the closest ATM or store where they can get cash back. No big deal.

Post # 88
152 posts
Blushing bee

Where I’m from, cash bar usually means that the couple is having a smaller affair and is watching the pennies and you’re supposed to know about it when you receive the invitation!  If having a cash bar, the invitation MUST indicate it otherwise that’s just plain indecent… as we can see from this board, hardly anyone carries cash anymore!  I would’t blame people for leaving early or taking money out of the presentation envelope because that’s just rude… it’d be the same if I invited a bunch of people to my house and had boos for them but made them pay for them… of course they’d leave early because that’s just rude! 

I can go to a wedding that is cash bar and not be offended because I personally don’t drink, however I’d be pissed if I walked into a fancy hotel with a candy bar, crazy decor, DJ stand with lights up the wazoo and its cash bar… Seriously???  Even though I don’t drink, I’d find it terribly rude that people can spend all the budget on the stuff that people think is nice but not 100% necessary and then expect their guests to pay for the drinks when the guests arriving may have come from out of town, driven a while to get to the hotel, possibly staying (assuming they’ll be drinking for free), possibly buying a outfit for the wedding, and then giving money as a gift on top of that?

To answer the main questions, 1) No I don’t carry cash unless I know the event I’m going to needs cash only, and 2) Yes, I think it is valid because people nowadays don’t carry cash.  It’s only NOT rude when the couple think ahead and put Cash Bar on their invitations and the guests who come don’t have cash.. they were aware.

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Post # 90
443 posts
Helper bee

I brought $20 cash to a wedding and it got stolen out of my clutch while I was dancing. I only found out at the end of the night when we were trying to divide payment for the cab. Turns out a couple other of my friends also had cash taken from their bags. So, I no longer bring cash to a wedding because I’m not keeping my handbag with me on the dance floor all night.

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