(Closed) Cash Bar: "Not Having Cash" Excuse

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 106
Member
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

 

Apple_Blossom:  No, I do not carry cash on me to weddings, but I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily rude to have a cash bar as long as the guests are given enough notice of that fact. If they know it’s a cash bar, that “but I didn’t bring money!” excuse is out the window.

Post # 107
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

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oneofthesethings:  When I served for a catering company in 2002-2003, we made around $20/hr in wages and if we received a tip it was always from the host.  It wasn’t like a serving/bartending job where the wage is $2.13/hour and you rely on tips per consumer.  I think a lot of wedding guests who have served at restaurants assume the bartender relies on tips and admirably, although unneccessarily pull out their wallets to tip.  One of the bartenders was fired for accepting tips from guests knowing it wasn’t allowed.  Our manager did not want to see cash at the party, period.  

Typically if we were tipped, the hosts would have envelopes with $20-40 for each of the servers.  I think guests pulling out cash and the catering servers accepting it takes away a little bit of the magic of the day.  Even though we were there to make money, I never would have wanted the guests to feel that way.  

Post # 108
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

If we are going to an event where I would be dancing, I’m not bringing my wallet. I give my Fiance my license and a debit card, in case of an emergency, but no cash. Fiance doesn’t carry cash cuz it burns a hole through his pocket, so to speak. If we were given a heads up, we would bring some cash, and I have no problem with that, but if I have no heads up, I will have no cash.

Post # 109
Member
6415 posts
Bee Keeper

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Apple_Blossom:  I always have some form of money on me, depending on the situation. So, nipping to the supermarket, I’ll usually just have a card. Going to the local shop/a bar/a nightclub/an event I will always carry cash, even if I know cards are accepted. For something like a wedding I would bring around £70/$110 cash as I’d want to be sure I could definitely buy drinks all night. 

Post # 110
Member
2836 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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Apple_Blossom:  I do not often have cash on me- I generally speaking don’t need it.  And I carry more than one card, so IF my card were to be declined, there’s almost zero chance I wouldn’t have one on me that would work.  If I don’t have a card that will work- it means I’ve forgotten my wallet.  If I’ve forgotten my wallet, I’ve forgotten my cash anyway and am REALLY SOL.

There is never emergency cash- or anything of value in my car.  I’ve had a car broken into before and it was a nightmare.  Lately, there’s been a string of kids breaking into cars all over our neighborhood (not the norm!) and we don’t have a garage- so our cars sit relatively empty.  

I’d say it would 50/50 if I had cash on me- unless I had been given a heads up.  If hosts are going to do a cash bar, I think it’s way cooler if they announce it- vs surprise everyone because……they were embarassed to put it on the invite?

You wouldn’t host a potluck and not mention it was a potluck- that guests need to bring something, right?

I assume that all aspects of the evening (food and beverage, including alcohol) is provided unless I am told otherwise- particularly for an event like a wedding.  

If we are invited over to someone’s home, we alway ask if we can bring anything- which opens up the opportunity for them to say “your alcohol” or “your beverage”– and if that’s the case, no prob!

I still sit in the camp that it’s nice to host all beverages for a wedding (maybe it’s the family I come from- the way I was raised)– BUT I’m not going to not attend a cash bar wedding- just please communicate!!!!

Post # 111
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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MrsTtoB:  +1!!!

Cash bars are rude, you wouldn’t invite someone to a party at your house and then tell them to bring alcohol to said event so you didn’t have to pay for it or you couldn’t afford it.  Oh right, and they are also socially expected to bring you a gift. RUDE. 

Post # 112
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016

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MrsTywinLannister:  Actually, if I was hosting an expensive party and my guests told me that all the things I had offered to them weren’t good enough, then yes, I would tell them to get it themselves. Obviously they don’t care about all of the things I AM giving them, so if they think they can do better they can provide it on their own dime. I don’t go to someone’s birthday and expect them to have chocolate ice cream just because I like it even if the birthday girl only eats pistachio.

Post # 113
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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Apple_Blossom:  I almost NEVER have cash on me (in my wallet, in my car, at my desk, nothing).  If I do.. I probably have $5.

 

I don’t think it would be “rude” to have a cash bar… but you HAVE to warn your guests so they come prepared.  I would be *SO* annoyed if i didn’t know there was a cash bar… so i didn’t have cash… 

Post # 114
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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TwinkleBoss:  I agree with you, however you aren’t comparing apples to apples.  Alcohol is usually (note: usually) served at weddings, and guests aren’t usually expected to pay their own way.  If guests are expected to pay they need to know that ahead of time (so surprising them and expecting them to have cash is rude), but it is still rude to have a cash bar at all since you are the one hosting.  Dry weddings aren’t in this category because the host is still paying for everything (the ice cream example works here, if the hosts don’t like alcohol they shouldn’t be forced to have it).  If you have alcohol at an event you’re hosting (even if you don’t like it), you need to be the one to pay for it, otherwise yes, it is rude.  If you can’t afford it don’t have it.  I wasn’t saying the rest of the party “wasn’t good enough,” I was saying it was rude to expect guests to pay for part of that expensive party.  

Post # 115
Member
1532 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I rarely carry cash.  Maybe I have a few dollars in my wallet, but often just my cards. 

But, as PPs have said, I feel like cash bars are not so much rude for that reason, and more that in my area, it’s standard for the host to provide drinks.  I can totally see this being regional, but in my area that is the norm.  Not having cash is an added complication (ie if I wasn’t expecting the cash bar, I would literally have no cash on me).

Post # 116
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida

I keep a hidden $50 in my wallet for emergencies. When my Fiance go to weddings we make sure to bring cash if we are unsure about the bar but also to tip the bartender even if it is a hosted bar.

Post # 117
Member
557 posts
Busy bee

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Apple_Blossom:  While I can believe that people do not carry money on them on a regular basis, I cannot believe the amount of people who do not bring money to a wedding. Regardless of if it is a cash bar or not, I always tip the bartenders. I don’t bring a 50, but I certainly bring at least $10 in ones.

That having been said, I would be put off by a cash bar at a wedding and I have never been to  wedding with a cash bar. If you are throwing a Halloween Party at your house you don’t charge people for drinks, and a wedding is a big party. 

Post # 118
Member
928 posts
Busy bee

I don’t always have cash on me, but I ALWAYS get cash for weddings. A bride and groom do not have to buy my drinks! If they do it is a bonus, but I do not expect it at all!!

 

Post # 119
Member
1780 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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Apple_Blossom:  i ALWAYS have emergency cash on me….as does Fiance…and if we are going to an event like a wedding especially if it is another city….we always bring cash for drinks…meals…ect…and i always have some in my purse….for alot of the reasons you listed….but a big one for me is my checking account was compromised before and it frightens me…so i use my card for some stuff but generally i use cash….and use checks/bank cards/credit cards only when necessary (i dont do cash for bills, grocery or clothes shopping, or gas (gas because i earn points on one of my cards from it))….so i just pay with cash for fast food and trinket spending to help keep my extra spending in check…but i digress…esp since if the card dosent work because youve hit your limit for debits for the day and your away from home most people wont take non local checks so i make it a habbit…

and where i am from it is the norm to have a cash bare or BYOB liquor at weddings, anniversaries, parties you name it….only the really wealthy *no offense meant to anyone on here or in general that has one* have open bars….its just simply not done where i am from…but we are a little different….where im from if your not in the bridalparty/in the wedding somehow it is perfectly fine to wear jeans/boots/and button ups to the wedding…and *gasp* we have backyard bbq rehersals and receptions for church weddings….but thats where i am from in a bitty town in the middle of nowhere….which apparently i am finding makes some people think (esp in FIs family who are from much more urban areas) we are a little back woodsy….

but nope i dont think its a valid excuse for out here anyways…of course most people bring lots of cash to weddings for cash bars, the dollar dances, and ive been to several where the party has been rocking and the crowd has gotten together and funded the dj for a few more hours to keep it rockin….(course out here thats like 50-100 bucks per extra hour….)so i think it depends on where you are from….

Post # 120
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Don’t these bars take debit or credit cards? Like they never do or what? I have no idea I’m just asking… cause if they do then I really don’t see what’s the problem. You would pay for your drinks anywhere you’d go out so why not at a wedding? You can always refuse the invitation if you’re that offended by a cash bar.

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