Cash bar vs Open bar

posted 2 years ago in Reception
Post # 61
Member
6208 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
attorneytobee :  I dont know what part of the midwest you’re from, but my entire extended family is from Illinois (Chicago and surrounding towns) and I have never seen a cash bar. Ever. Where I live and grew up a cash bar is considered tacky and cheap. Sorry I can’t be politically correct, but that is exactly what people would think of a wedding with a cash bar. Furthermore,  the idea of giving some people tickets while the majority of guests get none is absolutely bizarre.  But then so is having 500 people and saying you can’t afford an open bar.

Post # 62
Member
3723 posts
Sugar bee

What is this fixation on the midwest? Is the OP even from the midwest lol?

These threads are always the same. There are the bees who are horrified at the mere suggestion of a cash bar and can’t think of anything more grotesque or insulting. Then there are the bees who live in areas where cash bars are the norm and are perplexed why this is even a question. Add in a couple teetotalers who feel the need to comment on the evils of drinking in general, and you’ve got your 908134th WB thread on the topic.

Good luck OP, I hope you’ve found this thread insightful!

Post # 63
Member
3046 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

 

attorneytobee : Free drink tickets only for certain guests?! Wow, just wow

View original reply
sunburn :  this 1000%

Post # 64
Member
5884 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

View original reply
sunburn :  I know 🙄 why invite so many people if you can’t afford to supply everything? But whatever rocks your boat iguess.

Post # 65
Member
6208 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
emilyofnewmoon :  Another bee upthread stated that she’s from the midwest and cash bars are the norm.  Since my extended family is from the midwest I was making the point that was that it’s not necessarily the area that determines whether a cash bar is ok. Not sure why that is a “fixation”.

Post # 66
Member
3723 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
sunburn :  Gotcha. I said fixation because people have been debating midwest customs regarding cash bars for several pages now, but there’s no evidence OP is even from that area. I have midwestern ties myself and can’t say I’ve ever been to a wedding with a cash bar…but the midwest is a pretty large region, certainly spanning a lot farther than the chicago suburbs. So, it wouldn’t shock me if this was in fact common in certain areas, just as it seems to be in certain places abroad.

ETA: I see the whole debate as being similar to the “who should pay for the bridesmaid dress” dilemma. In my culture the bridesmaids pay, but in the UK that would be seen as the height of tackiness. A lot of this etiquette stuff depends on where you’re from and what’s normal in your circle, so I never understand why threads like this cause such an uproar from people. 

Post # 67
Member
273 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
emilyofnewmoon :  The wedding is in the Wisconsin dells, thus the Midwest chatter.

Post # 68
Member
3723 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
aoifeo :  Lol okay, that makes more sense then! I missed that update. 

Post # 69
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee

 In case it makes a difference where I live alcohol is very expensive so pretty much every wedding with an “open bar” does not include spirits or cocktails. Even very expensive weddings seem to just have nicer wine/beer/cider options. With that said a cash bar would be unusual and not appreciated. I wouldn’t complain openly as you don’t owe your guests alcohol, but I would most likely gift a little less cash in order to cover my drinks…  Weddings are so expensive to attend as it is and paying for drinks on top of everything else would be a bit of a blow.

 

Edit to add: 

View original reply
ericaleesi : Out of all the weddings you have been to, what is the standard in your area/circle? I think this makes a big difference. Also your reasons for not drinking would change my perspective too.

Post # 70
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - York, Nebraska

View original reply
claroquesi :  with that logic it would be rude to reserve certain seats at the ceremony and reception for family and the bridal party also. The distinction is obvious and drink tickets for those special guests are extremely common where I’m from. To each their own 🤷🏼‍♀️ 

 

Post # 71
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - York, Nebraska

View original reply
sunburn :  Chicago is much different than rural Nebraska where I’m from. To each their own. 

Post # 72
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - York, Nebraska

View original reply
sharpshooter :  rural Nebraska. To each their own. 

Post # 73
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - York, Nebraska

View original reply
pearlrose :  to reiterate, thats my point exactly. It’s regional. New York is extremely different from Nebraska. Every Nebraska wedding I’ve been to was a cash bar and all of them were tons of fun with people partying all night. 

Post # 74
Member
3106 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
attorneytobee :  Nope, not the same thing. In the scenario you’ve mentioned, everyone gets a seat, everyone gets a table, food, and the amenities included in the wedding. 

Post # 75
Member
1700 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
attorneytobee :  According to the OP, it sounded like they were assuming the cash bar would discourage drinking in their crowd.  I was just pointing out that discouraging drinking often also discourages dancing and people staying out late.  There are certainly people out there who will dance and stay at a party late without drinking.  If your circle is composed mostly of those types of people, then that’s great! (It could also be possible that your friends just carry tons of cash and don’t mind spending it with abandon.  If so, that’s great too!)

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors