MemberHey Bee’s,
We are doing a cash bar! Just curiuous if it is propper ettiquette to have the wedding party drink for free? My FI and i have been in this discussion but i thought i would ask all you first!
MemberI think you’ll get mixed reviews on this decision. Many would consider it rude to have a tiered reception of any sort, meaning some guests are given “better” dining/drinking options than others. Maybe just host drinks for an hour, then go to cash bar?
MemberI think that would be kind of rude. Maybe pour the wedding party champagne during dinner or something but after that they should be just like everyone else.
MemberNo, it is not proper etiquette. Favoritism and singling some people out for a perk while not others is pretty universally viewed as rude.
JiminyCricket.
MemberYes it’s rude to treat any guest better than another. This would be like serving your WP filet and your guests chicken. I would find a way to not have a cash bar, for anyone, because they’re rude in general, but if you insist then treat everyone equally.
MemberMemberhousebee: MsJ2theZ: Thank you both. I have been to weddigns where some wedding parties drank free and some didnt. I guess it would be personal preference. But i do agree with thinking it would be kind of unfair compared to the guests. Maybe I will provide them with a couple free drinks each!
MemberNikkimcq: I have only been to one wedding only where there was a drink ticket and then cash bar so I find cash bars a little weird to begin with (in my area, free beer and wine is typical). If this is normal where you are and it’s normal to see the party drink for free then maybe that’s different. I would think though that the only people who should be drinking for free when no one else is, are your family (who may be paying and at the very least, raised you both) and yourselves.
MemberJust to clarify to everyone that isnt aware. Cash bars, more specifically a $2 (twoonie) bar, is pretty dang custom in canada. Even more specially in central canada. Its not frowned upon here.
So as a custom i guess, is it rude to allow the wedding party to drink for free?!
carolinabelle: haha yes i would not be serving different food to different parties. You are right, i never viewed it this way. Thank you!
abbie017: MsJ2theZ: housebee: Thanks all! Now that you all point it out in the ways you did, i couldnt agree more. In defense of saying yes its fine, someone told me its a thank you for all their hard work. But thats why we get them gifts, and honor them at the head table to stand with us, right?!
MemberI think it is rude but maybe you can have free drinks for the bridal party to consume while getting ready and such.
MemberIf you cant afford or just don’t want to pay for a full bar, then maybe consider just offering beer and wine, a signature cocktail or just not having alchohol at all. It is impolite to ask your guests to pay for the hospitality that you as the hosts are supposed to be providing. You can serve (or not serve) whatever you like but you must also provide it to your guests without asking for payment.
Its no different than inviting someone to your house for dinner and charging them for liquer.
a lot of bees will tell you cash bars are fine and offer lots of rationalizations. That is their opinion but according to proper manners, cash bars are rude.
MemberMsJ2theZ: Yeah, like i said… i have had mixed answers about weddng party drinking free. This portion isnt a custom, just personal preference. Some have done it and some havent. I know that if i attended a wedding as a guest and the party was drinking for free and i wasnt, it wouldnt hurt my feelings.
We are having two bottles of wine on all the tbales for dinner drinks (free). But yes, i think after this i will decide to not have free drinks for the wedding party.
The parents are definitely drinking free all night of course!
MemberZhabeego: Its not that we cant afford or dont want to pay full bar, its just how things are done here, its not even a question to pay or not, $2 bar. Its a normal practise at weddings here. It would be like denying a practise that is custom where you are from. Thanks for your opinion.
Regarless, the question is. WEdding party to drink free or not. I wasnt question whether we should do a $2 bar or not, thats clearly what is being done.
MemberNikkimcq: I think that’s a good plan personally, and you are right. Their gift is the bridal party gifts etc…. if you really want to you could slip each of them a few twonies to spend at the bar, but don’t let them go up and drink free when everyone else is getting their money out.
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