(Closed) Cashing Checks Before Thank You Cards

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If you send out your Thank Yous in a very timely manner, than I agree.

But if you’re one to procrastinate, I would cash them before.

A lot of people keep their checking accounts balanced, and having an outstanding check for months at a time is frustrating.

Some might even forget that they wrote it and if you wait too long to cash it, you might overdraw their account.

I would say keep it uncashed for 1 month, and if you still haven’t gotten out your Thank Yous, cash it.

Post # 5
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I completely understand! Growing up, my mother always instilled in me “gratitude before greed”, which was her way of saying “that thank-you note had better be in the mail before you even THINK about touching the money!” With weddings, however, it’s actually more polite to deposit checks sooner rather than later, since the person will likely only maintain a certain balance in their account for a limited amount of time.

I’ve heard of special considerations and exceptions such as a check written to the bride’s “new” name (i.e. Herfirst Hislast) and banks denying it until she receives her new SS card. In those cases, a simple phonecall to explain the delay is in order, and of course you’d be thanking the guest at the same time — meaning he or she won’t mind a slightly delayed note.

Also, don’t feel guilty about receiving gifts. Take them in the spirit in which they were given: as a happily-made contribution to a newly-married couple.

Post # 6
Hostess
16215 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I don’t necessarily think it’s greedy to cash the checks. It’s actually more courteous so that the giver of the check doesn’t have to wonder when that money will be taken from their account. I’d just suggest trying to get the thank-yous out in a timely manner after that.

Post # 7
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

people generally want their checks cashed soon. forgetting about an uncashed check can cause your giver to overdraft, and you really don’t want that!

Post # 8
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

We deposited all of our checks as soon as we got them! Its probably a faster confirmation for the gift giver that we got their gift anyways! We just finished sending out thank you cards last week but we have had a few straggling gifts that we will be sending thank you cards for in the next couple of weeks as well!

Post # 9
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I would cash them right away as well.  I can see your point about the Thank You notes, but honestly, it’s worse to hold on to the cheque.  This just happened to my FH and I and we’re a bit annoyed.  It’s been over a month.  I get that the honeymoon, etc. would create issues, which is why we sent the cheque to their home 2 weeks before the wedding. We had to ask to make sure that they received the money, which was way awkward.  It created some issues in FH’s account.  I’m not working right now, so all of our money is earmarked for stuff and we really didn’t want to make a mistake and overdraw our account.

As a result, we’ll be cashing cheques on the way to our honeymoon resort.  Thank you cards will be in the mail the week we return.

Post # 10
Member
988 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I’d cash them immediately – not out of greed, but convenience and to see that they didn’t bounce! 

 

Post # 11
Member
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I actually asked several people about this before we got married.  Like you, I didn’t want to seem greedy for accepting money without saying thanks first.  Everyone said to cash the checks right away — just because it’s annoying to wait for a check to come through!  We deposited the checks and sent out the thank you notes soon after.

Post # 12
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree that you should cash them right away.  I hate it when people hang onto checks, because you start to think there’s more money in your bank account than there is.  My cousin hung into a $300 cheque for 4 months, and sure enough I’d forgotten about it by then, and went ahead and spent the money.  BOUNCE!

Oops.

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