Post # 1
So I know this an odd thing to worry about, and that without having looked it up it’s probably fine etiquette….. but did any of you feel like you should have sent out your thank you cards before cashing/depositing the checks you got as wedding gifts?
Darling Husband and I had several people send us cards with checks in them that weren’t even invited to our wedding like great aunts and uncles ect. I don’t know why but I told Darling Husband that I didn’t feel comfortable just going and depositing our wedding checks (esp the ones from the people who weren’t invited) until their thank you cards were in the mail! It just felt in a way that would seem “greedy” to just run right out and deposit those checks, esp because I feel so guilty that some of those checks are from people we didn’t even invite to the wedding!
Needless to say I had my thank you cards done a week after the wedding because I also know that it isn’t fair to hold onto to check for an extended period of time, esp personel checks!
Any other bees feel this way?
Post # 3
If you send out your Thank Yous in a very timely manner, than I agree.
But if you’re one to procrastinate, I would cash them before.
A lot of people keep their checking accounts balanced, and having an outstanding check for months at a time is frustrating.
Some might even forget that they wrote it and if you wait too long to cash it, you might overdraw their account.
I would say keep it uncashed for 1 month, and if you still haven’t gotten out your Thank Yous, cash it.
Post # 4
@CanAmBride: I had mine done a week after the wedding, because I don’t think it’s fair to hold onto a check for a long period of time either, esp if it’s a personel check.
Post # 5
I completely understand! Growing up, my mother always instilled in me “gratitude before greed”, which was her way of saying “that thank-you note had better be in the mail before you even THINK about touching the money!” With weddings, however, it’s actually more polite to deposit checks sooner rather than later, since the person will likely only maintain a certain balance in their account for a limited amount of time.
I’ve heard of special considerations and exceptions such as a check written to the bride’s “new” name (i.e. Herfirst Hislast) and banks denying it until she receives her new SS card. In those cases, a simple phonecall to explain the delay is in order, and of course you’d be thanking the guest at the same time — meaning he or she won’t mind a slightly delayed note.
Also, don’t feel guilty about receiving gifts. Take them in the spirit in which they were given: as a happily-made contribution to a newly-married couple.
Post # 6
I don’t necessarily think it’s greedy to cash the checks. It’s actually more courteous so that the giver of the check doesn’t have to wonder when that money will be taken from their account. I’d just suggest trying to get the thank-yous out in a timely manner after that.
Post # 7
people generally want their checks cashed soon. forgetting about an uncashed check can cause your giver to overdraft, and you really don’t want that!
Post # 8
We deposited all of our checks as soon as we got them! Its probably a faster confirmation for the gift giver that we got their gift anyways! We just finished sending out thank you cards last week but we have had a few straggling gifts that we will be sending thank you cards for in the next couple of weeks as well!
Post # 9
I would cash them right away as well. I can see your point about the Thank You notes, but honestly, it’s worse to hold on to the cheque. This just happened to my FH and I and we’re a bit annoyed. It’s been over a month. I get that the honeymoon, etc. would create issues, which is why we sent the cheque to their home 2 weeks before the wedding. We had to ask to make sure that they received the money, which was way awkward. It created some issues in FH’s account. I’m not working right now, so all of our money is earmarked for stuff and we really didn’t want to make a mistake and overdraw our account.
As a result, we’ll be cashing cheques on the way to our honeymoon resort. Thank you cards will be in the mail the week we return.
Post # 10
I’d cash them immediately – not out of greed, but convenience and to see that they didn’t bounce!
Post # 11
I actually asked several people about this before we got married. Like you, I didn’t want to seem greedy for accepting money without saying thanks first. Everyone said to cash the checks right away — just because it’s annoying to wait for a check to come through! We deposited the checks and sent out the thank you notes soon after.
Post # 12
I agree that you should cash them right away. I hate it when people hang onto checks, because you start to think there’s more money in your bank account than there is. My cousin hung into a $300 cheque for 4 months, and sure enough I’d forgotten about it by then, and went ahead and spent the money. BOUNCE!