Casual hangout instead of rehearsal dinner?

posted 4 days ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

We didn’t have a rehearsal but wanted to have a get together with our family and friends that was more casual too. We did end up doing a dinner that we paid for, although it was pretty casual – pizza, pasta, and salad on the patio at a local restaurant (about $10 per person). After, my husband went out to a bar with my brothers/brother in laws and I spent some time with a few friends. We originally wanted to do a BBQ at our place, but abandoned that idea at tha last minute and I’m glad we went somewhere instead.

We didn’t feel like we had to do anything, but all of my family traveled from out of town and I wanted to spend some time with them. It ended up being most of my family as his was local-ish (a couple hours away) and we spent time with them the weekend before.

Post # 17
511 posts
Busy bee

I disagree with the pps who say you MUST invite out of town family. That’s absurd, and of course you don’t! 

You are taking your parents out to dinner thus completing your rehearsal dinner “requirement”. This would just be chilling with your friends on a friday night. Maybe your mom can set up her own family reunion if thats something shes interested in. 

We did a pretty casual rehearsal dinner, invited everyone who was staying with us and parents to the rehearsal, ordered BBQ dinner and fed everyone. Then the in-laws had planned a welcome party, and all our friends staying with us chilled at the venue and had a pool party. We went to the welcome party for a very short amt of time, but it wasnt organized with us in mind at ALL (more the in-laws showing off), so I was fine not staying long. 

Post # 18
2479 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

The rehearsal dinner is the formal, organized evening you’re having with your fiance and your parents.  

A more casual evening for whomever you’d like to invite sounds great.  We rented the outdoor patio (four large picnic tables) at a local bbq place and everyone who wanted could stop by, order from the counter on our tab, and catch up and visit.  

If your parents want a welcome party for out of town family members, they can arrange that on their own.  If you and your fiance want to spend some time with your friends, I would do exactly as you please– you’ll see your aunts, uncles, and other family at the wedding. There is no obligation to host them on non-wedding days just because they’re from out of town. 

Post # 19
4 posts

My friends had such a party. They spent it a week before the wedding at a nearby bar. It was a themed party, more like a quest. The wedding was also informal, very funny, and atypical for many (and it took 3 days).
In general, that I managed to notice: at the party there were mostly friends, there were no standard tables, everyone walked and talked to each other. There were no typical treats and toasts, instead the bride and groom asked us to write small letters with wishes to open during their honeymoon. (at the wedding, too, no one made toasts; instead, anyone could write one phrase in the book of wishes).

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