(Closed) Casual Wedding Ceremony, Overcoming Wedding Day Anxiety.

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

You mentioned that your Mother-In-Law is paying for the flowers– are you and your FH paying for everything else? If that is the case (and even if it’s not), I think that it is up to you and your FH to decide which traditions you want to keep and which you don’t.

For example, I REALLY don’t want to throw my bouquet, and even though some of my guests might be expecting me to throw it, I’m not going to. Or if I do, I’m going to have a “spare” (cheapy) bouquet so I can pull a switcheroo last second so I can still keep my real bouquet.

So I think you and your FH should just make the decision (take other people’s opinions into consideration, but you & your FH make the final decision), and he or both of you should let his family know ahead of time what your decision is. Easier said than done, I guess, but you two are getting married– it’s time to start YOUR life together.

Is your FH comfortable standing up to his family? I think if he’s not, it might be a good time to get some practice, for the future (married life, kids, etc.).

Post # 4
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t see how it’s much of a big deal that the grandparents and your mom walk down the aisle. I think it’s kind of a way of recognizing them since your dad is the only one that gets to be a part of the actual ceremony. It’s not like they’re actually having to “walk down the aisle” as much as it is having them be seated last. Plus then people know the ceremony is starting.

Ushers are nice for guests because if you’re having a wedding anywhere that has more seating than guests it will keep people from sitting too far back (and thus having a bunch of empty seats in the front).

Post # 5
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

wow, i feel like we’re the same person. i wanted to elope, my husband wanted a big wedding. we got engaged, i said i’d do a big wedding for him, and the next night i was in tears thinking about all of those eyes on me. he didn’t want me to stress about or on our wedding so he said we could have our wedding as small as i wanted. we had a ceremony with less than 30 people and around 100 for the dinner, no dancing. it was very casual. i didn’t even want a “big white dress” b/c i thought people would be more likely to be looking at it, so i got a short, non wedding dress. people said stuff to us about our wedding before it. things like “you can’t have a wedding without a cake!” but i just ignored them, and kept in mind that this day was for me and my husband. it doesn’t matter what they want. they can have their own wedding. and after they saw it all put together we got a million compliments, mainly about how “us” the wedding was. big and fancy just isn’t me.

as for anxiety on the day… i know people say this all the time but you really don’t notice the people looking at you. i kept my eyes on my hubby at all times, from the second i stepped out. i had no clue what was going on around me. i didn’t know if all the guests showed up, what the flowers looked like (even though i purposely reminded myself to look b/c i wanted to know how they came out), we didn’t even remember seeing the photographer and got a little scared that maybe he took a potty break then until we saw him in guests pictures. i asked my doctor for some xanax but ended up not taking it and i was fine.

Post # 8
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

You should do what you and your FH want to do!!!! It’s your big day! My fiance and I decided on doing almost EXACTLY the same thing you are doing: ceremony and lunch to follow! 🙂 No dancing. We are not doing bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, djs, bouquet toss, or garter toss either (we are having a musician for the ceremony though just because we like it and will be doing one dance together for our first dance). All of our decorations are DIY- just because that’s my preference and my fiance likes the idea too. Whenever anyone suggested we do something different we just explained to them either how it wouldn’t fit with our wedding (ie no ushers because its a destination wedding and we won’t have time to practice it beforehand anyway) or we just let them know that we want to keep things very simple and informal. I’m sorry your family is giving you such a hard time with this… my family has come to learn how stubborn and bull-headed I am so I guess they know I will end up doing what I want anyway… either that or Im just too stubborn to really entertain their ideas too much once I make up my mind about it… Either way, I think whatever you and your FH decide to do, just make sure you are happy with your decisions… also, just keep in mind that they do say you can’t always make everyone happy! Good luck!!!

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